By Tanni Haas, Ph.D.
Despite the best of intentions, most New Year’s resolutions have a relatively short life span: approximately 80% of them are abandoned by early February. It doesn’t have to be this way. Experts have identified various reasons why resolutions so often fail and, by implication, come up with steps you can take to avoid that from happening.
Lack of planning
Many New Year’s resolutions fail because of a basic lack of planning. “Deciding on a resolution is just the first step,” says Dr. Dean Sherzai, a neurologist. “Creating a detailed plan to achieve it is equally important, if not more so. Many of us fail to establish a clear roadmap or prepare for potential obstacles along the way.” Before January 1 rolls around, create a comprehensive plan for how you envision achieving your goals, including breaking them down into smaller tasks and anticipating how to overcome obstacles you might encounter.
The resolutions are too vague
“New Year’s resolutions can easily fail if they’re too vague,” says Dr. Laura Athey-Lloyd, a clinical psychologist. Instead of telling yourself that you’ll try to exercise more or eat more healthy foods in the coming year, commit to specific goals like going to the gym four times a week, or eating at least one serving of fruits or vegetables every day for dinner. Your goals should be both concrete and realistic so that you can track progress, stay motivated, and hold yourself accountable for any progress or lack thereof.
The resolutions are too strict
Your goals should be concrete and realistic, but not so strict that you end up considering any deviations as failures. This could lead you to abandon them altogether. The problem with overtly strict goals, says Michelle Turk, a marriage and family therapist, is that “it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, which can harm self-esteem and lead to self-criticism.” She suggests that, instead of thinking of goals as “strict targets” that absolutely much be met, think of them as “guidelines toward leading a more balanced life.”
Before you commit to any particular goal, think carefully about whether you have, and are willing to do, what it takes to accomplish it.
The resolutions are too big
Sometimes, the problem isn’t that the goals are too vague or too strict; it’s rather that they’re too big to realistically accomplish. “Where we go wrong with New Year’s resolutions,” says clinical psychologist Terri Bly, “is there’s this idea that it’s supposed to be some big, sweeping change, because that sounds kind of sexy [but] as humans we’re not wired to make big, sweeping changes.” Dr. Riva Rahl, a preventive medicine physician, agrees: “Don’t set the bar so high that you’re not going to do it. Find what you can reasonably do to maintain and sustain.” If going to the gym four days a week proves to be too much, then cut down to one or two day(s) a week and only increase the number of days if you can handle it.
People underestimate the amount of willpower and self-discipline required
New Year’s resolutions can be inspiring, but keep in mind, Dr. Sherzai advises, that “resolutions often call for a significant amount of willpower and self-discipline …. Not readying ourselves for the challenges and temptations that threaten to knock us off course can lead to setbacks and ultimately push us to abandon our resolutions completely.” Before you commit to any particular goal, think carefully about whether you have, and are willing to do, what it takes to accomplish it. If you can only make it to the gym in the morning before you go to work, ask yourself whether you’re willing and able to get up an hour or more earlier.
People expect too much too soon
New Year’s resolutions often fail because people expect to see too much improvement too soon. “Don’t expect miracles,” says Kathryn Smerling, a family therapist. “Big changes are made with small steps.” Be patient with yourself and don’t expect immediate results, like significant weight loss as a result of going to the gym one or more days a week. Instead, be happy about the fact that you’re probably feeling much healthier.
Be patient with yourself and don’t expect immediate results.
People don’t reflect on their ingrained habits
Many New Year’s resolutions fail, Dr. Sherzai says, because people don’t reflect on their “underlying habits, behaviors, and outlooks on life” before they make any commitments. It can be difficult to save money on routine expenses if you habitually pay all your bills with a credit card and don’t get to tally up, in real time, how much you’re spending. If you make it a habit to withdraw a certain amount of money for routine expenses every week or month, chances are that you’ll be better able to achieve significant savings.
People don’t enjoy the activities that lead to goal completion
A common mistake many people make is to commit to activities that they don’t really enjoy. If your goal is to get healthier by becoming more physically active, remind yourself that there are many possible ways to that goal. “The mistake is planning to run when you hate running,” as Dr. Ayelet Fishbach, a professor of behavioral science, puts it. Instead, she suggests, ask yourself “what’s the thing that’s going to really click with you? Maybe it’s playing tennis. Maybe it’s playing basketball …. It’s the journey that’s to be rewarding.”
People don’t have adequate support systems
New Year’s resolutions often fail because people try to go the distance on their own instead of turning to or creating a support system of family and friends. “Without support systems and a shared sense of responsibility,” Dr. Sherzai says, “it’s easy for us to lose motivation and commitment to our resolutions.” Tell one or more of friends or family members what you’re trying to accomplish as that will motivate and keep you accountable to both yourself and others. If one of them is also committed to their own resolutions, support each other, whether your goals are the same or different.
“Don’t set the bar so high that you’re not going to do it. Find what you can reasonably do to maintain and sustain.”
Dr. Riva Rahl
People give up too quickly and easily
Finally, keep trying. Don’t give up too quickly and easily or, as clinical psychologist Kristen Carpenter puts it, “view a lapse as the end of a resolution – as many people are apt to do.” Instead, says Dr. Ahmad Garrett-Price, a family physician, understand that “there’ll be peaks and valleys in the journey …. The biggest thing is to stay encouraged and keep moving forward every day.”
About the Author:
Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.
