Advice & Features

Gotta Have Girlfriends

Good Morning Texas’ Paige McCoy Smith shares her Girlfriend Goals.

PaigeMy marriage nearly ended before it began. The problem? Girlfriends! I’m not talking about his former flings – I’m talking about MY girlfriends. My husband had an issue with how much time I spent with my friends and resented the value I put into those relationships.

I fiercely defended my girlfriends, holding onto the old adage to never let a man (no matter how cute he is or how well he dances) interfere with your friends. However, there comes a time, usually when you’re walking down the aisle, when that commandment is traded in favor of “for better or for worse”. As a result, I didn’t call my friends as often. I begged off from lunch dates and declined invitations to movies or parties. I convinced myself that I didn’t have as much in common with my single friends and focused my energy on deepening my relationship with my newly titled husband. However, the more I tried to move beyond what I thought of as “outdated relationships”, the more depressed I became. Ironically, my mother, of all people, saved the day. She sat down with my husband and said, “Paige is like a bumble bee. She needs to be nourished by many flowers in order to survive. Limiting her friendships will kill her spirit.”

Although I admit being compared to a bumble bee is a little cheesy, it seemed to work. Today, my husband supports my friendships and encourages me to maintain these special relationships. So I have no excuse (other than work, kids, laziness, and procrastination).  It’s pretty pathetic considering we are in the information age.   After all, how much energy do my fingers really consume when firing off a quick text just letting a friend know I care?

I am embarrassed to admit that I have put my friendships on the same line of my to-do list that typically occupies such priorities as organizing my spice rack.  But that ends now! My mom was right.  The truth is, when I don’t take time with my girlfriends, my soul is depleted! Me! The bumble bee! I need these friendships, and I would like to think they need me.

In fact, I am committed to taking these “Girlfriend Goals” a step further:

1. CALL

I am going to pick up my phone and do what it was originally designed to do – MAKE A PHONE CALL. Sure a text is short and sweet, but taking the time to dial a number and have a conversation can be, well, therapeutic!

2. SEND A CARD

Snail mail has become nostalgic. I don’t know about you, but I get giddy when I see something in the mail with an actual stamp that doesn’t resemble a bill.  What a fun way to share some love.

3. GO TO LUNCH

Lunch, happy hour, even a walk in the park or a walk in the mall. You schedule everything else from mammograms to PTA meetings. Use that skill to schedule some girlfriend time!

These are three simple things I can do to ensure my friendships are well nurtured.  Speaking of nurture, I had another friend compare her girlfriends to a vegetable garden: “This year, my tomato plants are doing well; last year was not as good because I didn’t spend enough time caring for my garden. You see, a garden cannot magically grow on its own. It needs to be nurtured and tended to.”

I love analogies to make a point or share a perspective. As for me, I am plum out of clever comparisons. However, I can say that all things that have value need to be nurtured in order to be sustained. That goes for bumble bees, tomato plants, and, of course, friendships.

Until we meet again,

-Paige

PS:  Look for me on WFAA Channel 8 Monday through Friday at 9:00 AM!

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