b'and over again) that attractive applicants have a better chance of getting a job and receiving higher salaries.Thus, we should not be Parents need to understand the impactsurprised in results of a study showing that at least 80% of women of social media on their children andover 18 are unhappy with what they see in the mirror.teens. Access to personal devices,WHAT CAN A PARENT DO?The answer pertains to more than just body image.Parents need which allow young people to see and beto understand the impact of social media on their children and teens. Access to personal devices, which allow young people to seen, affects how they see themselves. see and be seen, affects how they see themselves.I beg parents to look at giving kids access to devices in the same way they would provide access to a car. Would you give your child the keys without instruction first?princess is always beautiful and the wicked stepmother is alwaysThe hardest part for us as parents is that these are cars we never ugly.By age 5, kids focus on body size typically relates to wantinglearned to drive ourselves on roads weve never driven on before. to be bigger.But weve all been teenagers before.The land is pretty similar Childrens awareness of body image increases during elementaryeven if the landmarks have changed.And the path from Point A school years, beginning around age 6.During this time period,to Point B is not too different from when you were their age.children learn more about themselves in reference to the worldTake the time.Know what theyre driving (their devices) and around them, strongly influenced by parental modeling but alsostudy their maps (their apps).Learn their language (their ever-by sociocultural factors such as peers, toys, and media. By the endchanging social media platforms).Take some drives with them; of elementary school, we see development of body dissatisfactionhave them show you how things work, what images they like to and negative self-esteem in 40% of girls and 25% of boys. In onelook at, what photos or stories they like to post.Make gentle study, 60% of fourth graders said they would rather be dead thancorrections when they make mistakes (you wont know if youre fat. not watching).Have a copy of the keys (their passwords), but As children transition to the pre-teen years, the stage is set forconsider using them only in case of an emergency when they need even greater discomfort with self-perception.Early adolescencehelp from others (or protection from themselves).(roughly 5th to 7th/8th grade for girls, 6th to 8th/9th for boys)But remember what used to come first?The driving lesson is characterized by a shift in focus from family to peers, though(modeling). Weve all kind of missed the boat on this one; our identity and value still comes primarily from parents.Pre-teens are looking out to the world around them checking to see where they may fit in. They see that skinny girls and the athletic boys hold the most popularity. By middle school, even prior to the rise of social media, 50% of girls are significantly unhappy with theirAs children transition to the pre-teen appearance. years, the stage is set for evenMiddle adolescence (late middle school to high school for girls, high school for boys) brings significant focus on peers and angreater discomfort with self-perception.almost willful rejection of parents as teens attempt to separate from their families to try to find out who they are as individuals. These teens discount the approval of their parents while craving validationfromtheirpeers.Heavilyinfluencedbyperceived norms (in a culture that prioritizes thinness and beauty), theykids adeptly edit and post their own images while we fumble seektocreatetheiridentityinawaythatmakesthemmorewithselfie-sticksforvacationphotos.However,ourchildren acceptable to their friends. They have more ability to controlare watching us all the time, so its never too late to do some when, where, and how they eat or exercise (often away from theteaching.Let them follow you on social media.Show them you watchful eye of parents). How does this translate to body imagecan use your own (even outdated) experiences to demonstrate and weight control behaviors? In high school, 70% of normaldriving in the here and now.Use social media in healthy ways weight girls have dieted. And they believe this is normal andthat demonstrate how to set appropriate boundaries.Point out perfectly fine. when someone crosses a line online.Especially as it pertains to By the time they reach later adolescence (think transition toself-image, model your own confidence.Let them see you pay collegeandyoungadulthood),mostyoungpeoplesettleintoyourselfanoccasionalbody-positivecompliment(onlineand more self-acceptance and typically return to their parents valuesdefinitely in person).Show them your own victories when you (whether they like it or not!). They become more confident inshut down body-shaming on your adult social media feeds.Be their own sense of who they are or would like to be and over timethe kind of person online you want your kids to be.Because at need (somewhat) less validation from the outside world; they arethe end of the day, your kids will grow up to look a lot like you.more comfortable identifying with (some) of the lessons learned from their family upbringing. But some damage to self-esteemEditors Note: Dr. Susan Sugerman is the president and co-founder may persist.They see the beautiful people get noticed more onof Girls to Women Health and Wellness. For more information, visit campus.As young adults they understand (and data proves overgtw-health.com.60GoodLifeFamilyMag.comJANUARY | FEBRUARY 2020'