b'GEAR DOWN BEFORE BEDTIME AS A FAMILYRead together, draw, or watch a show. This time together helps Foster positive thinking at mealkidsdecompressandgivesthemspacetoexpressworries, concerns, or stories from the day. time by inviting your family to WEIGH THE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVEshare three things for which theyIf your child is troubled by a situation at school or at home, feel grateful and why. encourage him to write down a positive thought about it on a card. On the opposite side, have him write the negative thought. "Then you can discuss with your child each side, how each makes him or her feel, and what the consequences of each side might MAKE A HAPPINESS LIST be," Hensley says. "Remind children that it\'s okay to have negative Brainstorm a list of activities that help you feel better when you\'rethoughts and feelings. We just don\'t want them to rule our lives." feeling depleted. Your list might include taking a warm shower, watching a comedy, gardening or taking a walk with a friend. PLAY TOGETHER"When moms start working on increasing time for themselves,Expertsagree,familieswhoplaytogethertendtobehappier it not only decreases depressive symptoms, but they also reportand more deeply connected. Whether you throw the football, having a better, more positive relationship and interactions withcompete in a game of cards, dance to funky music in your living their children, partners, and others in the home," Mostaffa says. room, or make up games on a car ride, play will strengthen your Invite your kids to make lists too. When they\'re angry or upset,relationship with each other.they can turn to their lists to help them manage their emotions Experiment with what works for your family. Says Henley, "All in a healthy way. For example, shoot hoops, listen to music, draw,of these types of activities and rituals are very important because read, or call a trusted friend. they\'re modeling a positive attitude, building a healthy way of thinking and interacting with the world, and helping children REFRAME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS understand the link between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors." Rather than trying to ignore them, work with cynical thoughts that creep into your head. Mostaffasuggestsaskingyourselfgroundingquestionslike: "What\'s the evidence that thought is true? What\'s the evidenceADDITIONAL RESOURCES:thatthoughtisnottrue?What\'stheworstthingthatcould happen? What\'s the best thing that could happen? And what\'s theThe Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feilermost likely thing to happen?"Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. CohenSimple Fun for Busy People: 333 Free Ways to Enjoy Your Loved WATCH HOW YOU SAY ITNotice how you describe your obligations to yourself or others.Ones More in the Time You Have by Gary Krane, Ph.D.For instance, instead of saying: "It\'s my responsibility to make sure the kids have their homework done," you might say: "It\'s myPOSITIVITY AND GRIEFprivilege to make sure that my children are doing what\'s best for them." Seeking silver linings isn\'t always possible, especially if you\'re"It\'s those subtle shifts that have profound effects on our lives,"grieving the loss of a loved one or dealing with personal crisis. says Carla McClellan, an ACC-certified life coach. Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time, and seek support.Voice your gratitude. Foster positive thinking at meal time by inviting your family to share three things for which they feel grateful and why. Bedtime is a good time to reflect on the day too. MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:"Daily affirmations can be powerful," Hensley says. "These don\'t have to be major things either. The purpose is to teach this kind ofThe Counseling Place, 469.283.0242, counselingplace.orgthinking and help it become a more natural part of everyday life." Grant Halliburton Foundation, granthalliburton.org CREATE A VISION BOARD Here For Texas, HereForTexas.comImagine what you and your family would like to accomplish in the year ahead. Either make a family vision board or individualTeen Talk Youth Health Education, teentalk.caones. Grab a stack of old magazines, scissors, glue, and posterJed Foundation, jedfoundation.orgboard. Cut out inspiring words, quotes, and pictures.Ask each other questions like: "What are our dreams for theAmerican Foundation for Suicide Prevention, afps.orgcoming year? What do we want to see happen in our lives? What would an ideal vacation look like?" National Institute for Mental Health, nimh.nih.gov ENCOURAGE QUIET TIMEQuiet, unplugged time helps nurture creative thinking, problem-solving, and stress reduction. GoodLifeFamilyMag.comJANUARY | FEBRUARY 2020 47'