b'DOES SOMETHING SUDDENLY FEEL OFF IN YOUR MARRIAGE?Sometimes, people start a divorce by going toa lawyer, paying a retainer, and signing a contractto start with the divorce proceedings.Others may speak to anattorney and then go home togather all the necessary documents toplan for the divorce. If yoususpectthatyour spouse might be doing some planning, here are somesignsto look for.CHILDRENLets say you and your spouse have always sharedallparentingresponsibilities. Dad takes the children to soccer;Mom takes them to dance. Dad works on homework with them,andsometimesMom does.Then suddenly there is a shift in responsibilities. One parent is nowdoing everythingtakingthe children everywhere, making the doctor appointments, setting up play dates, making dinner, and putting them to bed.All of a sudden, thereisaparentalsuperheroin the house because even though both may still be there physically, only one is doingtheir share ofparenting. A few months of that and now youve got a status quo thatis hard to ignore.That goes for other areas of the childrens livesas well. Moms family is being pushed to the side to spend more time withDads family. Dad is actively signing them up for their activitiessomething he never did before. He suddenlyopensa savings account for them, and hes putting a lot of money in there.Another indication could be if the children are suddenly seeing a counselor for the first time.If a spouse is planning for a divorce andthinking aheadabout a trial, therapists have a unique ability on the witness stand. If he or she is qualified as an expert, then the counselor can offer an opinion to thecourt about your children, which can includeeverything your children have said in counseling. If those children have been coached by the other parent on the way to their counseling sessions, they might have said some things you dont likethings they dont even mean.MONEYAnother sign that your spousemightbe preparing for a divorcecan be found inyour bank accounts.50GoodLifeFamilyMag.comJANUARY | FEBRUARY 2020'