b'As a family law attorney, Ive seen my fair share of adults behav- mother, intervening in an existing lawsuit involving her grand-ing badly to each other. But when they are also parents, that badson. She envisioned a scenario where, by virtue of her biological behavior frequently means they are not just failing each other,connection to her grandson, the judge would determine that she they are also failing in their obligations to their own children.was the best prospective caregiver and immediately have him de-Sometimes one parent is not living up to expectations. Whenlivered to her. that happens, the other one usually tries to fill the void to the bestWhile grandparents are frequently the best candidates, judg-of his or her ability. Although that is far from an ideal situation,es have wide discretion when creating a nonparent managing it is usually not catastrophic. But in other cases, it is both parentsconservatorshipa fancy term for giving the rights normally failing to live up to their parental expectations and that can be aassociated with being a parent to anyone who is not a childs par-disaster. When that occurs, a family member frequently will stepent. In fact, although they are preferred, relatives are neither au-up to assume parental responsibilities. We are seeing this role of- tomatically nor presumptively the most qualified candidates to ten filled by grandparents. receive those rights. Grandparents who want to fill this role need Its my grandson! If his parents cant take care of him, Im theto receive professional guidance to ensure they are taking the obvious choice. Of course, the judge will give me custody, a cli- right legal steps to correctly and clearly establish that they are the ent once told me in response to her grandson being placed withbest candidates to give the child a safe, secure, and loving home a foster family. That same judge had also denied both parentsduring this period of upheaval.any unsupervised access to their child after removing him fromThe legal system is complex and very difficult to navigate, so it their home. The belief that her grandson would be immediatelyis imperative that any grandparents who find themselves in the plucked out of foster care to be placed in her custody is an un- unfortunate situation of needing to step back into a parental role, derstandable sentiment coming from a concerned grandmother.find someone to provide professional guidance and representa-It is an expectation shared by many, but the reality is somewhattion. Fortunately for the grandmother in this story, she wasnt different. What this grandmother didnt initially realize is that thealone, she found the guidance and help she needed, and while transition of her grandson into her custody was not only not au- it was not a particularly short or easy process, everything ended tomatic, but also far from a guarantee.exactly as it should for her and her grandson.Parents have an itemized and extensive laundry list of rights and duties over their children by virtue of being parents. Grandpar-ents? Not so much.Editors Note: John Kappel is an associate at the boutique law firm If a grandparent wants significant legal authority over a grand- Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, where he handles divorce child, the grandparent must be granted those rights in a courtmatters as well as property division, probate, and estate planning. order. That means filing a lawsuit or, as in the case of this grand- He can be reached at www.ondafamilylaw.com.GoodLifeFamilyMag.comSEPTEMBER | OCTOBER 201961'