b'Happy Holidays? WHAT TO DO WHEN STRESS OVERSHADOWS THE JOY OF THE SEASONBy T.J. Griffin and Kelly Jameson, Ph.D., LPC-SAlmost everyone would agree that the holidays areQ: What can we do to reduce the stress around the wonderful, but the holidays are also stressful. Our tid- obligations and expectations of the holidays?ings of comfort and joy can easily be devoured by the demands of the season. Do they have to be so hard? IsA: Theres a twofold approach to this: one is internal, there anything we can do to make them less wearing? and the other is external.Internally, practice gratitude. Remind yourself each We conducted a survey to find out what stresses peo- morningthattheholidaysaredesignedtobejoy-ple the most during the holidays. Then we asked Dal- ous and be grateful that you have people around you las therapist Dr. Kelly Jameson for some expert adviceduring this season. Its the people, not the table set-on how to make the holidays live up to our do-it-all,ting. Its the people, not the uniqueness of the gift. Its be-it-all, and buy-it-all expectations during the mostthe people, not the cleanliness. Its the people, not the wonderful time of the year. meals.Dont drink the Kool-Aid. If you perpetuate the hol-Q:Inoursurvey,mostpeoplesaidtheirnum- iday hype, you may feel overwhelmed. If you choose ber-one source of stress around the holidays is ob- not to accommodate the stress, you will have a very ligationsandexpectations.Whydoyouthinkdifferentexperience.Itsaself-fulfillingprophecy. this is the biggest issue? Whether you think it will be stressful or not stressful, you will be right! A: The holidays represent a time of joy, togetherness,Externally, call your shot! If youre hosting or travel-and connectionthings we dont get enough of theseing, let your family know well in advance that you are days. We all crave this connectedness and joy so, inchoosing an old-fashioned holiday, a simple sea-short, we over-do it. We arent great at schedulingson, or a classic Christmas this year as a way to set family time that sparks joy, togetherness, and con- the tone that communicates less-is-more in all areas.nection during the year. So we feel obligated to packDo the work! Like many things in life, humans want as much joy as possible into the four weeks betweenthe desired outcome, but often they dont want to do Thanksgiving and Christmas. We go for the concen- the work. Looking at the calendar and getting orga-trated power punch of joy, crammed into four weeks.nized in a way that works for you and your family is As a result, we suffer the consequences of what I callkey. A quick Google search for holiday planning the 4Fs: Festive Family Fun Fatigue.will help you organize your lists and think of things Continued on next pageGoodLifeFamilyMag.comNOVEMBER | DECEMBER 2019 37'