b'2) Make a list of what stresses your child.Remember that it may seem silly or trivial to you, but if your child finds something IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY PROVENstressful, it is hurting his spirit, body, and brain.3) Brainstorm ways to remove this stress from our childs life.If it THAT NO MATTER HOW HARDis a school issue then you will need to be your childs advocate and ensure that you and the school find ways to address this stress.If WE PRETEND TO BE OKAY, WEit is a home issue then you, as Mom and Dad, will need to make lifestyle or relationship changes that will reduce or remove the childs stress.If your child has irrational or imagined fears then CANNOT HIDE OUR STRESSfind a skilled functional practitioner that can help you with tools to deal with this.FROM OUR CHILDREN. 4) Look around your home.Is it a calming place?Are the colors ofthewallsandfurnishingswarm,gentle,andcalming?Is it organized yet free enough to be safe and relaxing? Is there enough natural light?If not, consider changes that you can make. REDUCING YOUR STRESS AS A PARENT IS THE MOSTSmallchangescanhaveamajoreffectofreducingstress. LOVING THING YOU CAN EVER DO FOR YOUR CHILD Remember that your childs spirit, body, and brain are depending Every day I see how parents turn themselves inside out doingon you to have the courage to do whatever it takes to take the things that make the kids happy, but they often dont do the onestress away. thing,themostcriticalthingthatcouldliterallychangetheirEditors Note: Dr. Sandy Gluckman is a learning and behavior specialist, childrens lives for the betterand that is to find ways to reduceworking with parents whose tweens and teens have attention, behavior, or their own stress.mood problems. Her website iswww.drsandygluckman.com. I dont expect parents to become neurobiologists.I am suggesting though that because we live in a high stress and pressure world, moms and dads need to understand that when you are in stress mode,yourchildrensneurobiologywillalsoautomaticallygo into stress mode.When your kids instinctively pick up on the tension around your eyes, the tightness around your mouth, your strained body language, your edgy tone of voice, and the harshBECAUSE WE LIVE IN A HIGH words you may unintentionally utter, in that split second their chemistryshiftsfromhealthytounhealthy.Thisaffectstheir ability to behave positively, learn easily, and love life. STRESS AND PRESSURE A QUICK NEUROBIOLOGY LESSON Your stress sets off an alarm in an area of your childs brain calledWORLD, MOMS AND DADS the amygdala, which sends out a message to the hypothalamus, which alerts the pituitary, saying,mom or dad are stressed and this doesnt feel good. To deal with this alarm, stress hormones areNEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT secreted, and the childs brain goes into fight or flight. What you see then is a child who displays all kinds of angry or withdrawn behaviors.ThischildisthenatriskforbeingdiagnosedandWHEN YOU ARE IN STRESS treated for being defiant or depressed when actually the child is just stressed because mom, dad, caregiver, or teacher is stressedand their stress is contagious.The only way to prevent this fromMODE, YOUR CHILDRENS happening is to learn how to become a stress-less parent. What can a parent do to reduce their stress so that your child seesNEUROBIOLOGY WILL ALSO you as a calm, centered, and joy-filled person?AUTOMATICALLY GO INTO FOUR STEPS TO TAKE TODAY TO BECOME A STRESS-LESS FAMILY STRESS MODE.1) Remember your child is picking up on your stress. Write at least 3 things you each can and will do to reduce your stress. Discuss and brainstorm what could happen if you dont make these changes.18GoodLifeFamilyMag.comAPRIL 2020'