64 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2019 Liz Burton’s son, Lance Corporal Blake Burton, told his parents he chose the Marines because “they’re the meanest, the hardest, the toughest. If I’m going to do it, I’m going to go full force.” a n d played with his Army figures so much as a child and preferred military documen- taries on the History channel to cartoons. She does believe, how- ever, that he did feel some pressure to enlist and that perhaps wait- ing a year after graduation to prepare and ensure he knew what he was getting into would have been helpful. “Four years is a long time to give back,” Liz points out. Blake realizes the commitment he made himself, and Liz says he has never complained. Jeri Chambers also stresses that the choice to join the military “needs to be fully of their own volition. It will get grueling and trying, and if you’ve pushed them into it, they’ll blame you,” she says. Jeri and her husband Rick have a daughter Taylor who graduated last year from the United States Military Academy at West Point and a son Austin who just completed his freshman year at the institution that also educated the likes of Pat- ton, MacArthur, and Schwarzkopf. Like Blake, Austin had grown up “playing Army” and read The Art of War by choice as a young teen. He’d been involved in Scouts and sports, so the military seemed a natural fit. Taylor, on the oth- er hand, approached Jeri and Rick after her sophomore year and said she wanted to attend a university where she would be phys- ically and emotionally challenged as well as academically chal- lenged. After finding out that West Point was the only military academy that offered chemical engineering, she started research- ing the process for admission and never looked back. Once Austin had seen that his sister could handle the pressure, he believed he could do it, too. Jeri points out that for Taylor, she and Rick were her primary support; for Austin, it’s Taylor. After all, she knows first-hand what he’s going through. All three families note that joining the military has forced their kids to take on responsibility and to face challenges that have pushed them into adulthood. Jeri advises parents whose children have entered military service, “Brace yourself for them growing up a little faster.” Her daughter Taylor jokes that she matured five years for every year she spent at West Point. Liz says that when they went to meet Blake after his basic training, she thought, “He left a boy but came back a man.” David says, “The military isn’t for everyone. I just see it as a place to grow.” The families all suggest that one of the most important things you can do as a parent is to discuss with your children the reality of the commitment they’re making. Terry advises meeting with the recruiter with your child if at all possible. “Then you gain that knowledge with them, so it’s not second-hand information.” Jeri remembers just asking her kids, “Are you sure you really want to do this?” Once they’ve committed to the decision to serve, the worry be- gins. Liz says, “I sleep with my phone on all the time. I never know what kind of call I’m going to get.” Terry knows, “There is that realistic expectation that they can be deployed.” Jeri says now she’s “someone who says a prayer every time the phone rings.” The biggest commonality among these families, however, is the extreme pride they all have in the choice their children made to serve. Liz admits, “I have a new sense of patriotism. We rallied behind him and continue to let him know how proud we are of all the sacrifices he’s making.” The reality is, as a nation we are all proud of every soldier, sailor, or Marine who has taken the oath to protect us. TORN BETWEEN BEING CONCERNED FOR THEIR SAFETY AND WHETHER THEIR CHILDREN ARE PREPARED FOR THE REALITY OF THAT LEVEL OF COMMITMENT WHILE ALSO BEING BEYOND PROUD THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE WILLING TO MAKE THAT LEVEL OF SACRIFICE, MILITARY PARENTS FACE A UNIQUE EMOTIONAL DICHOTOMY.