GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2019 49 At this point, your “children” are now legal adults. You can't do much intervention anymore. You can't call the university and talk about your concerns with a professor. You can’t make appointments for them with their doctor or counselor. By now, hopefully your son or daughter has learned the skills needed to cope with this transition in a healthy way. Nevertheless, they are experiencing more independence and responsibility than ever before, and it can be overwhelming. RED FLAGS Warning signs become harder to spot as your children gets older, especially if they no longer live under your roof. However, there are several things to watch for. People who are not coping well with stress often respond with extreme behavior. For a college student, this could look like avoiding the problem by partying or through extracurricular activities, withdrawing, or becoming intensely focused on performing academically or athletically. They may become unusually negative or overly positive in their conversations. Watch for signs of depression including changes in sleep patterns, loss of interest in hobbies, and decreased energy. Students struggling with depression may stop going to class and begin making comments about feeling hopeless, like things will never get better. TIPS • Help your young adult find out what resources are available. Every college campus provides academic and mental health services or referrals for their students. Because your children are now legal adults, you cannot request services on their behalf, but you can encourage them to take advantage of the resources available to them. • Normalize. College students are learning a whole new world as they enter this next stage of adulthood. They’ll have another head spinning transition when they graduate college. Remind them that it’s normal to struggle, that a failing grade isn’t the end of the world, and they’re not alone. • Become acquainted with their roommates or good friends. They are likely to be the first people who will notice if something is wrong. This is not an excuse to insert yourself into your kid’s social life. Boundaries are important here. But if given the opportunity, introduce yourself and let their friends know they can contact you if anything comes up. • Reach out. It’s a fine balance between smothering and supporting. If the stress level reaches a point where your kid is no longer able to function at school, they may need you to take a more active support role until they can get back on their feet. Otherwise, let them continue to develop the grit they need to be successful while you cheer them on from the sideline. Editor’s Note: The Counseling Place is a nonprofit agency providing affordable, professional, and education services and counseling. Reach Executive Director, Deborah Dobbs, at 469.283.0242 or couselingplace.org. College Students EVERY COLLEGE CAMPUS PROVIDES ACADEMIC AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES OR REFERRALS FOR THEIR STUDENTS. ADVICE FOR