GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2019 47 Middle school entails mind-blowing changes. It seems like everything is changing—schedules, social status, expectations. Tweens experience hormonal changes, however, the more important thing to remember, especially when it comes to strange and even unpredictable behavior, is that their brains are still developing. Middle school is a time when kids have to make many decisions, yet the part of the brain that makes these decisions is still developing. It's kind of like running a marathon with a sprained ankle. RED FLAGS Often the red flags for stress are common behaviors displayed by most adolescents! Just as it is with younger children, it's hard to tell if your tween is struggling at a normal level or feeling overwhelmed. However, trust your instincts and watch for major changes in behavior. Your overwhelmed middle schooler may withdraw from family and friends, lose interest in hobbies, or begin to lie to avoid dealing with a stressful situation. They may also have physical responses to stress like stomachaches or headaches or you may notice sudden outbursts of anger or crying. TIPS • Listen. Really listen. This is a time when pre-teens are starting to look to their peers for advice and support. Seize those opportunities for conversations with your tween. Do less talking and more listening. At this stage, many kids can sort through their own stuff.  Try not to play the role of the fixer, for the mistakes they make usually have consequences from which they can recover. • Offer consistency. Especially during the early partof middle school, there's so much change that it's comforting to come home and have things consistent. Having a meal two to three times together each week has many benefits. Your tween may act like he doesn't want to do this with you, but it's a good habit. And it can provide comfort when the school environment feels stormy. • Limit technology. We cannot stress this enough. If you allow your tween to take a phone to school, consider installing one of the parent apps that places restrictions on the use. Shut it down during class times, so they can focus. Schools provide the technology for kids to access what they need online. Consider a technology contract with your child for use at home and at school, so there's nothing ambiguous about the rules or the consequences. • Normalize. Don't minimize. If your pre-teen shares her struggles with you, assure her that what she is feeling is normal. Try not to compare your own tween years with hers though. While some challenges of adolescence are timeless, her world is vastly different from yours. Imagine being a kid and every faux pas you made, every breakup you had could go viral.  With some kids, if you imply that you really "get it," (even if you do), you shut down the conversation. Middle School Students ADVICE FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL IS A TIME WHEN KIDS HAVE TO MAKE MANY DECISIONS,YET THE PART OF THE BRAIN THAT MAKES THESE DECISIONS IS STILL DEVELOPING. IT'S KIND OF LIKE RUNNING A MARATHON WITH A SPRAINED ANKLE. CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE