b"Ultimately,theparentrisksgreaterlossbycrossingtheline. Moving from encouragement to taking over the goals and dreams FEAR SEEMS TO BE THE CULPRIToftheteenmeansperhapsagreaterdiscordbetweenparent and teen. Anger, depression, anxiety, behavior difficulties, and academic difficulties are some of the negative results. Discord and FOR MANY OF THE REASONS WEbroken relationships are at risk as well. Teens are supposed to be moving away from us in their course that we in psychology call CROSS TOO MANY LINES. I HATE TOindividuation. This is the movement from being dependent on a parent to becoming self-sufficient. Its difficult at best, and the dynamic of a parent taking over and controlling the dreams and PICK ON FELICITY HUFFMAN, BUTaspirations of the teen can catapult the discord and frustrations between parent and teen. This results in that curious negative WHY DID SHE CROSS THE LINE TOcycle where negative begets even more negative.Its natural for a parent to worry about their child. It's normal for a parent to care deeply for their teen in a way that might compel CHEAT FOR HER DAUGHTER?them to do more than they should. But lets remember that we are growing our teens into the people they aspire to be. Lets SHE WAS AFRAID. encourage them. Lets give them the affirmation they need. When they come in stating they are thinking about joining the armyand you were holding out for them to become an attorneydont panic. Help your teen to pursue their own goals and dreamsnot to pick on Felicity Huffman, but why did she cross the line toyours. Remember, help them to explore and think and understand, cheat for her daughter? She was afraid. Afraid that her daughterbut dont stand in their way. When your teen is facing the SAT, would not make it into the college of her dreams. Afraid that herdont panic. If they fail to make the grade, they will also need daughter wouldnt pass with a high enough score. Fear is perhapsyour affirmation to try again. Lets affirm our teens. Lets believe one of the greatest culprits that compels parents to either put tooin them, truly believe in their ability. Lets ultimately believe in much pressure on their kids or even go so far as to commit crimestheir strength and ability to get up, dust themselves off, and try, for their child. try again.What are the effects? When parents succumb to fear for their childs outcomes, they have moved from encouraging and affirming their child, to denying the child that affirmation. One of the thingsEditors Note:that has been reported about Felicity Huffmans daughter, is thatDr. Dean Beckloff is a pediatric therapist, school counselor, and trainer, who she told her mother, Didnt you believe in me? We also suggestspecializes in treatment for children and families navigating divorce and to the child that the failure that might happen is something theyother life challenges. He is the founder of the Beckloff Behavioral Center in cannot handle. That perhaps failure is to be avoided at all costs.Dallas. If you wish to contact Dr. Beckloff with questions, comments or for a That perhaps their falling down will be insurmountable. Steppingconsultation, he can be reached at the Beckloff Pediatric Behavioral Center: over the line denies the child the confidence needed to deal withDrBeckloff.com / 972.250.1700lifes tumbles that are to come.20GoodLifeFamilyMag.comMARCH 2020"