b'PARENTING FROM THEFATHERS PERSPECTIVEInvolved Dads are Essential to Healthy Child DevelopmentBy Lon Loveless | ContributorParents often assume different roles, and especially in situationsIn a stable relationship, there is often agreement on the role that where job flexibility or work travel is required, consistent involve- each parent will play. They both will pitch in on important tasks ment by both parents may be challenging. Often the primary fi- such as taking the kids to school and getting them to their soccer nancial breadwinners are unable to assist as much as they mightpractices and events. like in traditional homemaker activities including taking chil- However, the dynamics of the relationship often change when dren to appointments or attending extracurricular activities andparties are faced with separation or divorce. Instead of living in school events.one household, the parties usually live apart, straining the de-As our society has changed, so too have the roles that parentscision-making process. Various factors, such as the ages of the play. Serving as the familys sole breadwinner is becoming in- children, the sex of the children, the relationship of those chil-creasingly less common for dads. In the 1970s, fathers were thedren with the respective parents, the location of residences, work sole providers in about 50 percent of households, but that num- schedules, the childrens schools and possession schedule, will ber has been reduced to less than 30 percent within the past fiveaffect the roles that separated parents play in their childrens lives. years. Moreover, both parents now work in 70 percent of house- Like most other states, Texas courts prefer for both parents to be holds with children under 18.involved in the decision-making process and rearing of children. However, that is sometimes easier said than done. Animosity or simple differences of opinion can make co-parenting tense and sometimes downright difficult. In todays society, the divorce rate IN LOOKING ATis approximately 50 percent. When two separate households are involved, parents should set aside their differences and focus on the children, with both parents taking on more responsibility.STATISTICS OVER THEDepending on his occupation and work schedule, the role of the father may change considerably following a divorce as his focus PAST 50 YEARS, DADSshifts to becoming a more involved parent. This often requires stepping up to the plate, and as a family law practitioner, I see HAVE BECOME MUCHdivorced fathers taking on a much greater role than in years past. Thanks to technological advancements, the ease of working re-motely means moms and dads both can make it to games, ballet MORE INVOLVED INclasses, and other activities. The notion that either the mother or father have an advantage CHILD CARE. when seeking custody is no longer true. Each case is different, and there are numerous factors for the court to consider in mak-ing a custody determination. The perspectives will obviously vary based on the goals of each parent. Parents going through divorce In looking at statistics over the past 50 years, dads have becomeshould speak with an experienced family law attorney when at-much more involved in child care. For example, in 2016 fatherstempting to navigate the various issues which will be encoun-spent on average eight hours a week on child care, while motherstered. spent about 14 hours a week. In contrast, dads spent only about four hours a week with their children in the 1960s. Involved fathers are essential to healthy child development. Fa- Editors Note: Lon Loveless is a Family Law attorney with the boutique thers parent differently, communicate differently, play differently,firm Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP. He is Board Certified in discipline differently and instill different values in their childrenFamily Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization and is a member of than their counterparts, and children benefit from consistent ex- the Texas Academy of Family Law Specialists. He can be reached at posure to both parenting styles.www.ondafamilylaw.com.GoodLifeFamilyMag.comMAY | JUNE 201927'