b'FATHERS BE GOOD TO YOUR DAUGHTERSAND YOUR SONSBy Dr. Dean Beckloff | ContributorFathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do. -John MayerSeveralyearsago,thesongtheelsewheremaynotbe Daughters by John Mayerthegreatestofdecisions. wasahit.Ithookedus,Fathersbegoodtoyour perhaps because the simpledaughters.wordsproclaimedthatAndwhataboutdads fathers have a big influenceandtheirboys?Doboys ondaughtersforbetteralsoneedtheirdaddy?Of orforworse.Therefore,course.Andofcourse,a fathers must be good to theirboy is going to look to his daughters. And its true.dad to see how to grow up, When my mom lost her dad,how to treat people around shemournedthelossforhim, how to treat women, alongtime.Thatonehurthowtolivelife,howto herdeeply,andsheachedultimatelybecomeaman. and hurt for months, maybeA boy looks at his dad to longer.Herdadwasherlearn what is important in hero, her strength, the manlife. And gaining love and she looked up to, and whomrespectfromhisdadcan shewantedandneeded propel a boy into manhood respectfrom.Thatrespectandintohisownfuture and affirmation she receivedrelationships,including as a girl, guided her in herromantic ones. A boy learns life and helped her to keepfromdadhowtohandle herlifemovingforwardemotionsandwhetherto positively, even when timesdeny those emotions. And weretough.Thelosswastheaffirmingwordfrom beyondhugehowdoyouafather,givesaboydeep losesomeonelikethat?confidence,apowerful Eventuallythemourningstrength to grow up, a great wasworkedthrough,andpeacewithinthathelps celebration of the life he hadinspirehopewhenthe livedfinallyallowedhertogoing gets tough. Fathers be pickherselfup,andmovegood to your sons.on. Mygrandfather,my The affirming word of a fathermothersdad,leftagreat to a child is a strong word inlegacy.Hewasamanof hischildslife.Affirmationaffirmation.Thatwasthe from a father gives strengthkindofmanhewasand and empowerment to a boythataffirmationtookroot or girl and brings confidenceinmymotherandme.It inaworldthatcanbeapropelled me toward giving bitshakyattimes.Thatthe gift of affirmation to my affirmingwordcanbeaownchildren,anditgave light that shines out into themeconfidencetogivethe future and brings great hope when times get rough.gift of affirmation to the kids I worked with as a teacher and then They say that when daughters feel esteemed and respected andlater as a child and teen counselor. The affirming word of a father loved by their dad, they dont need to go find that love somewherecan become a legacy that transforms lives for perhaps generations else. And if a daughter does not have that good, grounded, deepto come. It spills out into not only their family but also other relationship with her dadand perhaps has one instead filledfolks along the way. Fathers can sometimes feel unnecessary and with tensiona girl is going to fill those needs elsewhere. Andpowerless in the family, but that is simply not true. The fathers 24GoodLifeFamilyMag.comMAY | JUNE 2019'