48 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com SEPTEMBER | OCTOBER 2018 Your child is headed off to college. Are they ready? Are you? Remember when it seemed your kids would never grow up? Those endless days we all had when they were little and you didn’t think you could handle one more meltdown, spill, dirty diaper or request for juice when they were supposed to have been asleep hours before? Then you turn around, and they’re grown and going off to college. How can that be when those memories are still so vivid? My twins have just started their senior year of high school, and I feel this tremendous pressure to fill them with every single word of advice, practical tip on taking care of themselves, and life lesson I think they’ll ever need to know before they leave me forever next year. I need more time! Jonas Salk said, “Good parents give their children roots and wings: roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what’s been taught them.” The reality is we still have time to be their parents. Going off to college is the next step toward “full” adulthood, but it doesn’t mean our role is over. We do, however, need to be prepared to let go of the reins a little. Trust that what you’ve been trying to establish for the past 18 years will set them off on the right course. Adviceforparentsofnewcollegestudentsabounds.Thewords of wisdom range from the practical (establishing financial plans and academic expectations), to the psychological (acknowledge your feelings, get support for yourself), to the inspirational (help your children develop their passion, college kids love cookies!). It can be difficult to sort through it all. I’ve read through a lot of information and ended up with my own takeaways. YOU’VE DONE THE BEST YOU CAN. Now you’ve got to trust they’ll remember the important stuff. YOUR JOB IS CHANGING FROM TEACHER TO COACH, manager to mentor, director to consultant. Kids becoming independent and making their own decisions is a good thing. COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES HAVE LOTS OF RESOURCES to help your child even when you’re not there. Make sure they know where to go and what’s available. DEVELOP YOUR OWN INTERESTS. If your life has centered around your kids, you need to find something else to focus on. IT’S GOING TO BE HARD ON BOTH OF YOU. Change is never easy. Make sure they know they can come to you when they’re upset, but make sure you have a friend or family member to share your feelings with as well. I’m sure a year from now I’ll re-read all the suggestions for making the transition easier, but for now I’ve decided I think I’ll be okay. They probably will be, too. THEY GROW UP SO FAST! by Alicia Wanek