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40 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE COLLEGE COACH OR APPLICATION COMMANDER Ann Landers once said It is not what you do for your chil- dren but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. McLaughlin agrees. I think in a society of being helicopter parents weve deprived our kids in learning life lessons. The kids would have been better served learning on their own he says. Dallas mom Julie Shrell took this approach when her twin daughters who recently graduated from college were going through the application process. She provided instructions about deadlines met with their counselors and was there if they needed help or a gentle reminder. I didnt have to worry about them notes Shrell. They really wanted to go to college and they were self-starters. Shrell warns though that the amount of assistance or prodding depends on the individual child. Kivett and her husband sat down with her son in his freshman year of high school and read about application requirements to prepare him. He knew specifically what it would take to get into different colleges he learned the costs he learned what hed need for scholarships and he learned his options in high school to get there. Shrell isnt opposed to letting her younger son take a gap year before college and would have been open to it for the twins though they didnt ask for one. Once at school Shrell says her girls knew what she and her husband expected of them to be on the college payroll. They knew if they didnt make the grade or take a full load they were coming home. Shrell emphasizes that she wanted to make her teens accountable. It is important for me that my kids be a part of it Shrell explains. Its their college. I already went. Varun Tewari CEO Founder of Victory Step Test Prep an educational company with locations in Dallas and Plano pre- pares teens for the ACT and SAT tests. He feels that parents need to find a balance between being demanding and overbear- ing versus being too distant. The college selection process is a complex one and parents are usually in the best position to guide their kids. Tewari adds that parents should be there for the administrative moral and financial support needed during this sometimes frustrating period. He says its also important that parents dont get too involved in the selection and applica- tion process. In the end its the child going to college and he she should feel that they have played an important role in the process. In the end its the child going to collegeandheshe should feel that they have played an important role in the process. - Varun Tewari Victory Step College Prep