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GoodLifeFamilyMag.com MAY JUNE 2016 57 HOME-FOR-THE-SUMMER COLLEGE STUDENTS After spending even one semester away at college your kids will find it a bit of a struggle to come back home and follow your rules like when they were younger. Plus even though theyre now in college your kids might still need you to light a productivity fire under them during summer break. How can you strike a good balance between honoring their newfound independence motivating them to keep moving forward and asking them to abide by your family rules Adjust expectationsyours and theirs. Whether its cooking a meal when youre pressed for time running a few errands while youre at work or giving their younger siblings a ride ask your college-age kids to help out while theyre at home. Just because they dont pay rent and dont live there full-time anymore doesnt mean they cant earn their keep when they do come home. On the flip side theyre not little kids anymore so you cant impose all of the same rules you used to. Have frank discussions with your young adults about curfews bringing home a significant other to spend the night drinking and other age-appropriate scenarios to avoid any surprises. Start a business. By now many college-age kids have had summer jobs but they were probably more of the retailfast-food variety. This time around see if they can make their own mark in the business world through an entrepreneurial venture. Perhaps theyre majoring in marketing at college. Could they pair up with a local bar to help them better promote a summer music series or help a restaurant better market their mom-and-pop eatery If theyre studying web design could they use their digital skills to help a local business revamp its outdated website Line up an internship or job shadowing experience. Your young adults need to ask themselves what they can do to get their foot in the door of the working world. Summertime provides the perfect space for this to happen. Any time that students can get an internship or job shadowing opportunity even if its a volunteer position at a hospital this will set them apart from someone else who did nothing. It gives them proven experience within a company or organization says Lundien who points out that this is equally true for both high schoolers and college students. I always ask kids What are you going to do to set yourself apart from someone else Academically you might be on an even playing field with other students but what did you do differently Straight from the parenting trenches Becky Martin of Carrollton says her 19-year-old college student finds the balance by holding a job taking online classes and doing some travel. The job can be anything from babysitting retail restaurant or whatever. She took online classes last summer and will again this summer. While curfew for her is different than it was in high school the reality is her father and I work so she has to be quiet and respect the time we have to get up. goodBALANCE Any time that students can get an internship or job shadowing opportunity even if its a volunteer position at a hospital this will set them apart from someone else. - Rob Lundien spokesperson for the American School Counselor Association