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42 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com MAY JUNE 2016 goodTO KNOW My Child Is Hurting. What Do I Do From the moment of birth we have so many dreams for our children. We want them to be happy confident and smart. We want them to feel so good about who they are about life and about their relationships with others. We want them to feel the joy of being successful and achieving their goals. Oh I could go on and on about what we wish and dream for our kids. And with these dreams come our fears and anxieties. We never want them to feel sad or afraid. We certainly dont want them to doubt how talented and special they are. The problem is that life is not perfect and they are going to have experiences we wish they did not have. Avoid theStress Trap As a parent what can you do when your kids hurt Because the truth is that when they hurt you hurtsometimes even more than they do Empathy compassion and caring are good but only in healthy proportions and done in a positive way. Heres why when you care too much and feel your kids pain too much it causes anxiety for you and for the kids. Being stressed hurts you physically mentally and emotionally and causes you to react to your childrens hurt in unhelpful ways. Stress causes you to say and do things you may regret later. The last thing you want is to respond ineffectively to your hurting child and get the response I wish I hadnt told you or You dont get it leave me alone So how do you avoid becoming stressed when your child is hurting How do you respond in ways that help you and your kids grow stronger from lifes challenges You must balance what you can do for you and what you can do for your kids. Begin First with YOU 1Understand that you have two responsibilities the first is to deal with your own feelings in a stress relieving life enhancing creative way. And the second is to help your child do the same. by Dr. Sandy Gluckman Contributor