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GoodLifeFamilyMag.com SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 2015 49 Who doesnt know what Im talking about Whos never left home whos never struck out To find a dream and a life of their own A place in the clouds a foundation of stone She needs wide open spaces Room to make her big mistakes She needs new faces She knows the high stakes The lyrics from this Dixie Chicks song have al- ways given me chills and brought a little tear to my eye. I imagine the day when my first child leaves home for college its not a pretty vision I am quite sure that I will be a mess and Im also sure thats probably not the best way to usher my child into his new life. For many first year college students this will be the most dramatic transition of their lives and we as parents should make sure the experience is all about them instead of about our insecurities at letting our baby go. Millions of children go off to college every year and millions of children survive some even thrive With a little patience self-con- trol and possibly a little vodka you too can survive your child leaving home. Harlan Cohen is the bestselling author of The Naked Roommate And 107 Other Issue You Might Run Into in College. Buy it for your soon-to-be coed He has also written The Naked Roommate For Parents Only A Parents Guide to the New College Experience. Cohen says we are the new college parents and that technology and so- cial media have changed the way parents experience our childs time at college. Par- ents are more connected have access to more informa- tion and are more likely to contemporaneously share our college students highs and lows. For example a parent doesnt just get to hear about the messy roommate a parent can see a live video feed of the room- mates dirty underwear on your childs bed Cohen says in the history of time students and parents have never had such immediate unlimited and inexpensive access to one an- other. This is certainly good news however parents and children will have to negotiate this new territory and see what amount of contact is comfortable and appropriate for them. Its best to do this up front before anyones feelings get hurt. Cohen says you may be calling too much if... -You are calling every morning and providing a wake-up call. -You are calling an instructor to share that your child is sick and will be absent. Chances are pretty good your child knows how to send an email from a cell phone -You call every night to make sure your child is do- ing homework and not staying up too late. -You call the moment you need technical support directions or help finding something thats lost at home. And you may be visiting too much if... -You earn a nickname from your childs friends. -You have a usual at a campus bar. -You know the soup-of-the-day schedule at the col- lege cafeteria by heart. Cohens book is great for gaining a little per- spective about this transitional time. He address- es many other issues such as packing roommates finances social media safety homesickness drugs and alcohol health sex body image including the myth of the Freshman Fifteen and the home- town boyfriend or girlfriend away at another col- lege. While youre at it pick up a copy of Cohens The Naked Roommates First Year Survival Workbook for your child. Its filled with exercises that help students overcome obstacles before they become a problem. Set aside a couple of evenings this sum- mer to go dinner with your child and discuss these issues to get the first year of college of to a great start There isnt a child who hasnt gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesnt return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes. -Art Buchwald Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a mans lifetime income which he then spends sending his son to college. -Bill Vaughn