Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64 Page 65 Page 66 Page 67 Page 68 Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72 Page 73 Page 74 Page 75 Page 76 Page 77 Page 78 Page 79 Page 80 Page 81 Page 82 Page 83 Page 84GoodLifeFamilyMag.com SEPTEMBER | OCTOBER 2016 49 goodADVICE “It’s a balancing act to manage it all, and you must care for yourself. It’s seemingly impossible to find that hour, or a few, to get to the gym, listen to music, read a book or do whatever you love to do, but you have to. There has to be an ‘aha’ moment of realizing that the caretaker’s own time isn’t negotiable,” said Dr. Sandy Gluckman, a specialist in learning and behavior problems. In her Frisco, Texas practice, Dr. Gluckman counsels many families in this challenging situation, believing there are many lessons to be learned for everyone involved. "When you’re with your kids, that’s their time, when you’re with your parents, the same,” she says. “‘Love the one you’re with,’ as the song goes,” advises Dr. Gluckman, whose book Parents, Take Charge is revolutionizing the way children with learning and behavior challenges are being treated. “Your kids are watching how you behave with your aging parents. You are setting an example for them of how to care for you." A key to success for any family is recognizing that setting out the ingredients is prime to a great recipe. Whether it’s financial planning for our children in college or the living arrangements and medical care of our parents or, as hard as it is to discuss, their wishes should they become physically or mentally incapacitated, setting the table before you sit down to take a bite? Essential. “Pre-planning is so important. From ages 18 to 93 illness happens, accidents happen, aging happens. Everyone needs an advance directive to make sure that their wishes are known,” said David Stanley, owner and Chief Caregiver at Custom Caregiver, his most gratifying professional role. “Unfortunately, with regard to parents, it often takes illness or tragedy to decide ‘now what?’ There’s only a blink between running a few errands for a parent to providing fulltime care.” “Those of us in the ‘sandwich’ are constantly advocating— we have to. In classrooms or social situations for our children and regarding the personal affairs of our parents, we must advocate, always on-guard,” said Stanley, the father of a young child, blessed too with a new grandchild and his 87-year-old mother nearby. Custom Caregivers helps advocate for aging parents by providing fall prevention, companionship, care for Alzheimer’s and dementia and grooming assistance, continence care, meal planning and preparation, medication reminders and light housekeeping in homes, assisted living facilities and retirement communities throughout the DFW metroplex. “Do what you can to make your life in the middle more manageable and peaceful. Plan early, review the plan often and look out for speed bumps. You can only control what you can.” Get ready for life’s picnic—set the menu, enjoy the meal and take it one bite at a time. “It’s a balancing act to manage it all, and you must care for yourself. It’s seemingly impossible to find that hour, or a few, to get to the gym, listen to music, read a book or do whatever you love to do, but you have to. There has to be an‘aha’ moment of realizing that the caretaker’s own time isn’t negotiable.” - - Dr. Sandy Gluckman