Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 Page 9 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26 Page 27 Page 28 Page 29 Page 30 Page 31 Page 32 Page 33 Page 34 Page 35 Page 36 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41 Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 55 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64 Page 65 Page 66 Page 67 Page 68 Page 69 Page 70 Page 71 Page 72 Page 73 Page 74 Page 75 Page 76 Page 77 Page 78 Page 79 Page 80 Page 81 Page 82 Page 83 Page 843Be careful with yourself. If you were spanked a great deal as a child, you must be careful. I resolved never to spank my children. We had consequences, but we did not resort to physical punishment. And if aggressive means were used on you as a child, you must be willing to do whatever it takes to stop that cycle, beginning with yourself. 4If you blow it with your kids in some way, tell the truth. Be willing to admit to them when you were wrong. When we yelled and shouldn’t have—speak that truth. They cannot learn how to take and accept responsibility if they don’t see it modeled. Admitting our own wrongs stops any resentment from building. 5It is abusive to witness abuse. Please know that if the children are not being abused, but you are—and they witness it in any way—they are being abused. They will deal with the consequences (PTSD and other inherent issues that go with stunted emotional development), perhaps for life. Get help immediately so that the children can be helped. The abuser may not be actively abusing the kids, however, the emotional scarring will leave its legacy. 6If you are divorced, it goes without saying that you must be aware of how your children are faring at the other parent’s home. Be aware of any signs of neglect or abuse after separating, but also be careful and diligent not to point a finger too readily. It’s wonderful for your kids when you and your ex- spouse are on the same page, but when there are issues that you feel must be addressed, especially ones that could be harmful to the children, you must speak up. If there is a situation that may be going too far with the other parent or a step-parent, speaking up can curtail a challenging experience for your children. 7If your anger is getting the best of you around the kids, get help. Find a counselor. Be proactive. When your kids and teens see a proactive approach, they see that you want the good—and not the negativity—to prevail in the family. Reach Dr. Dean Beckloff at Beckloff Pediatric Behavioral Center drbeckloff.com | 972.250.1700 If you are being abused or suspect someone else is being abused, these resources can help: The National Domestic Violence Hotline www.thehotline.org 24/7 hotline (800) 799-7233 Genesis Shelter www.genesisshelter.org 24/7 hotline (214) 946-4357 Texas Child Protective Services www.dfps.state.tx.us/child_protection (800) 252-5400