22 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com MAY | JUNE 2018 Crap, it’s 2:18 a.m. already. I can’t believe I’m not asleep yet. I have to get up in four hours! Stop thinking! Just stop it right this second. No thoughts. No thoughts. No thoughts. In the dark, I look over at my husband Kevin, who is fast asleep. It’s now 3:27 a.m. Why can’t I just shut my brain off? Kevin is so lucky. He can fall asleep in under two minutes. Listen to him, with his steady breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Is he purposely taunting me with his rhythmic breathing? It’s 4:46 a.m. The night drags on, as random thoughts continue to march incessantly across my brain. It’s like sleep is flipping me the middle finger. But finally, I start to drift off when . . . THUD. What was that? Was it the cat? No, he’s sleeping on my feet. It was probably just Parker banging his leg on the wall again when he rolled over. But what if it wasn’t? Should I check? Eyes wide open now. I listen acutely for more thuds or feet shuffling or creaks on the floorboards. But nothing. I look at the clock again—5:02 a.m. I’m at that critical juncture—should I just get up for the day, knowing it will take me F-O-R-E-V-E-R to fall back asleep only to have my alarm go off soon anyway? But it’s only 5:02 a.m.! I am not getting up out of spite. Take THAT, sleepless night! So, I lay there for an hour, asserting my sleepy free will and refusing to get out of bed. Somehow, this makes me feel in control of this midlife sleepless cycle that I’m caught up in. I’ve given up on my dream of sleeping through the night like a teen anymore. But I’m happy my mind is still sharp enough to remember the O.J. Simpson manhunt. (Gotta look for the silver lining, folks.) It’s 2:18 a.m. already. I can’t believe I’m not asleep yet. I have to get up in four hours! Stop thinking! Just stop it right this second. No thoughts. No thoughts. No thoughts. Continues from page 21