By Tanni Haas, Ph.D. | Contributor
The start of the new year is a traditional time for making important pledges to ourselves and loved ones. Whether the goal is to focus more on your health or to spend more quality-time with family and friends, the reality is that it can be hard to keep all those great New Year’s resolutions. Nevertheless, experts have identified a number of things you can do to increase the likelihood that you’ll end up fulfilling your promises.
Plan ahead
The first and most important thing is to plan ahead. Instead of telling yourself that everything will be different somehow when January 1 rolls around, make a detailed plan for how you intend to achieve your goals. “Set yourself up for success by getting prepared first,” says Amy Morin, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist. This includes deciding “what steps you’ll need to take to stick to your change.” Donald Edmonson, a professor of personality psychology, puts it even more pointedly: “Change doesn’t come about because people want it. It comes about because they plan it.”
Make your goals concrete and realistic
Make sure that your goals are both “concrete” and “realistic,” says Shari Lindquist, a marriage and family therapist. You’re much more likely to experience genuine change if you set yourself the goal of, say, going to the gym four times a week than if you promise yourself to either exercise more often (not concrete) or to do it every day of the week (not realistic).
Build momentum slowly
It’s better to slowly build momentum towards your ultimate goal than try to jump in with both feet first. “Gradual, incremental changes are more sustainable and less overwhelming,” says Dr. Dean Sherzai, a neurologist, “than abrupt, drastic alterations.” Instead of forcing yourself to go to the gym every second day come January 1, you may want to start with one or two day(s) a week and slowly build up your stamina. As Dr. Donald Lloyd-Jones, a cardiologist, puts it: “Do what’s achievable and get to that plateau and then shoot for a higher plateau.”
Frame goals in positive rather than negative terms
Frame your goals in positive ways; stay away from negative terms. Says clinical psychologist Per Carlbring, “if your goal is to stop eating sweets in order to lose weight, you’ll most likely be more successful if you say ‘I’ll eat fruit several times a day’ instead. You then replace sweets with something healthier, which probably means you’ll lose weight and also keep your resolution.” Simply put: tell yourself what you want to “achieve” rather than “avoid.” Ideally, of course, you should also enjoy the activity you’re committing to. If you don’t enjoy eating fruits, chances are that you’re not going to stick to the plan. “It’s enjoyment that determines whether or not [you’ll] be successful,” says Jim Richter, a mental health counselor.
Create sustainable routines
You’re also more likely to attain and sustain your goals over time if you incorporate new behaviors into your daily routines. As Dr. Sherzai puts it, “it’s about creating manageable routines that can be eased into our lives in such a way that they naturally become habits, in spite of life’s hurdles.” You’re more likely to eat healthier foods if you create a weekly meal plan and exercise more often, if you set aside a specific time every day for it. Routines are great, says Jim Davies, a professor of cognitive science, because they eliminate the need to constantly make “good decisions” – you’re simply following the routine.
Ask for support – and give support to others
Finally, rely on loved ones for support. The same way it takes a village to raise a child, you need supportive people to help you stick to your goals. As professor of sociology Deborah Carr says: “People really need the support and encouragement of others to set themselves up for success.” If possible, pair up with someone who has resolutions of their own and support one another. Your “accountability body,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Athey-Lloyd, “doesn’t even need to be working on the same resolution as you are …. The most important thing is that you share your resolutions with one another and check back in with each other at planned intervals.”
About the Author:
Tanni Haas, Ph.D. is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.