GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JANUARY | FEBRUARY 2019 27 Sydney University, a consultant on children and technology, says, “Pornography can influence young people’s attitudes on sex, sexual tastes and relationships. For example, a lot of softcore and hardcore pornography is easily accessible and can send messages like 1) mutual consent and safe sex aren’t important, 2) violent sexual acts are normal and appealing, 3) loving relationships aren’t important, and 4) aggressive behavior toward women is normal and okay.” Recently, after the opening of the new Hustler store in Dallas, CEO of New Friends New Life Kim Robinson told the Dallas Morning News she sees a direct correlation between the increase in the accessibility of porn online and “the increase of sex trafficking and risk to our vulnerable youth… With the growth of free online porn has come an increase in the number of teens and children being exploited and abused. Often these porn ‘actresses’ are victims of human trafficking forced into sex acts for little or no money. Others are coerced into degrading acts after intoxication or drug use,” she says. The team at New Friends New Life is committed to both advocacy and to education, job training and counseling to formerly trafficked girls and sexually exploited women and children. With 5.5 million child victims of human trafficking each year, the average age when a child first falls victim being just 13 years old, and 400 teens subject to trafficking on Dallas streets every night, it’s a problem we can’t ignore. Even if they aren’t exposed to outright pornography, the prevalence of highly sexualized images bombards them every day. Caron C. Andrews and Amanda Grossman Scott, authors of 30 Days of Sex Talks; How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography state, “… the reality is that it has become a rampant part of our everyday culture. You can hardly drive past a billboard on the side of the road or watch TV ads without seeing sexualized material. You can find thong underwear marketed to seven-year-olds, and an astonishing array of sexually suggestive phrases printed on girls’ shirts. Sex sells, and marketers have gone to the extreme to take advantage of that fact. In this new hypersexualized world, you are going to be exposed to images and poses that not so long ago could only be found in actual porn movies and pictures. It’s everywhere. It’s inescapable.” Dr. Dean Beckloff of the Beckloff Pediatric Behavorial Center says it this way, “Teens are getting inundated with information and talk about sexual matters. Most are well aware of sexting taking place, ways to access pornography – and I believe are needing definite guidance in this brave new world that has opened up due to the accessibility of the Internet. Parents must not turn a blind eye to what is taking place in this new digital age of accessibility; they must not believe their kids will somehow, on their own, navigate it well. Parents, I believe have got to be even more open to discussions about sex. Also, find help through churches, schools and other avenues that will give teens more information to help them navigate this world that we as parents never had to deal with. Whether we like this or not, we cannot afford to ignore what is happening and what our teens are having to deal with.” So how do you address this topic with your child? It can be pretty uncomfortable for sure. Here are some guidelines from Dr. Orlando. • Plan the conversation by thinking about what you want to say to your child. • Be open and ready to listen to what your child has to say. • Ask questions like: What do you know about pornography? Have you seen it with friends? Do you have any questions about what you’ve heard or seen? • If your child has seen pornography, it’s important to let her know that it’s normal and okay to be interested in sex and sexuality and that he or she is not in trouble. • Explain that it is a business, that the people are being paid, and that it does not reflect reality. • Talk about the risks. NO. 6 | IF NOT YOU, WHO? You hope your child will always come to you to talk about sex or any other subject, but there will be times when they don’t feel comfortable discussing certain subjects with mom or dad. Or maybe you don’t feel comfortable talking to your child. Or maybe you don’t have all the answers. It’s important your children have other resources to get the information they need or another trusted adult with whom they feel safe to have discussions about sensitive topics. If your child is on a college campus, there are likely several resources available to them. The student health center is used to addressing sexual issues, and most campuses today also offer mental health/counseling centers free of charge or with a very nominal fee. For teens, you may offer to schedule an appointment with their doctor, so they can ask questions without you in the room. The team at Girls to Women Health and Wellness/ Young Men’s Health and Wellness, a practice specifically aimed at treating teens and young adults, says, “While it’s not our job to tell you when it’s okay to begin having sex, it is our goal to make sure you understand how to protect yourself and have a positive sense of your sexuality over the course of your lifetime.” Whether it’s a family friend, a relative, a doctor or a school counselor, make sure you help your child identify a trusted adult. Getting their information from friends or the Internet is not reliable. RESOURCES USED FOR THIS ARTICLE (in order of appearance) Centers for Disease Control and Protection USA Today University of Washington Dr. Katrina Walsh, Plano, TX Jan Edgar Langbein, CEO, Genesis Shelter, Dallas, TX Kate Ott, author, Sex + Faith: Talking with Your Child from Birth to Adolescence “Tea and Consent” Young Men’s Health Boston Children’s Hospital Dr. Joanne Orlando, Western Sydney University Kim Robinson, CEO, New Friends New Life, Dallas, TX Caron C. Andrews and Amanda Grossman Scott, authors, 30 Days of Sex Talks; How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography Dr. Dean Beckloff, Beckloff Pediatric Behavorial Center, Dallas, TX Girls to Women Health and Wellness/Young Men’s Health and Wellness, Dallas, TX All content for this article including: text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 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