54 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY | AUGUST 2018 I nstagram. Twitter. Snapchat. Facebook. Chances are, you regularly interact with at least one or two of these social media platforms on a regular basis. Chances are, your teen is inter- acting with them A LOT. On average kids are spending 6 ½ hours per day looking at a screen, not including the time they’re us- ing them to do schoolwork. Twenty-five percent of American teens admit to being connected to a device within five minutes of waking up. They are texting, posting, watching, blogging, messaging and hashtagging on social media all the time. There’s no doubt social media offers a lot of benefits to adolescents at a time of life when establishing relationships, being connected, and figuring out your own identity is a part of development. But what about the downside? When teens are only seeing what others post online and are comparing their own lives to that reality, how does it make them feel about themselves? When kids can post hurt- ful or untrue messages online with little consequence, what are the ramifications long-term? RECENT FILMS HIGHLIGHT HOW AND WHY SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BECOME SUCH A PART OF OUR TEENS’ DAILY LIVES In recent months, I’ve had the opportunity to screen two movies that focus exclusively on our teens and their lives online. Connect, a project with former teen heartthrob and father of six teenagers Kirk Cameron, focuses on the issue from the standpoint of his conserva- tive Christian beliefs as he interviews a variety of parents, teens and experts. Screenagers, a 2016 film by physician Delaney Ruston also provides input from those who have examined social media in dif- ferent contexts and the reaction kids have to “screen time” and how we as a society are addressing the issue. As a parent of three teens myself, I found that both films offered some helpful insights: The teenage brain makes them especially susceptible to the pitfalls of social media. (For additional information see the GLF article on the teen brain in our Jan/Feb issue). In Connect, neurosurgeon Dr. Ian Armstrong discusses how the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain that controls impulsivity and reasoning, is not fully developed until the early 20’s. The teens’ attraction to the constant stimuli com- ing through their device is too much for the teen brain to have the self-control to resist. Dr. Ruston in Screenagers explains how the brain is wired for “seek- ing behaviors.” The new friends, new information, new messages, and new contacts online cause a release of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. However, over time it takes more stimulation to get the same response. Their brains seek more of that response – much like any kind of addict. Additionally, studies have shown that the brain is physiologically not capable of multi-tasking, so the time teens are spending online and on social media is time they’re not focusing on schoolwork, face-to-face relationships or other responsibilities. We are learning social media skills alongside our kids. In Connect Mark Gregston says, “It’s as new to us as it is to our kids,” and Kathy Koch says, “We’re the guinea pig parents” or the “pioneer parents” for how to handle screen time and social media with our teens. As part of that, we need to consider how we use our own devices and model the interpersonal relationships we want our kids to have with others. The parent of a child in Connect who had a scary online en- counter with an adult predator reminds parents, “You shape how [our kids] perceive and process through the lens of your priorities.” Teens are influenced tremendously by what they see and read on- line. Both films interview teens who have learned lessons through negative experiences online and on social media. One teen girl who was bullied online and considered suicide said, “The words they give you are the ones you believe.” Author of Schoolgirls Peggy Oren- stein, says girls especially are bombarded by images that define what it means to be attractive. She points to a study showing that girls who were shown images of other girls in bathing suits over sweaters performed significantly worse on math tests given after the expo- sure. In another study Dr. Nino Ramirez, director of the Center for Integrative Brain Research at Seattle Children’s Hospital, told of a study in which mice exposed to constant media took 2 to 3 times longer to complete a maze. Even after the exposure to media was suspended, their performance never improved. What will studies show about all that exposure to media on our kids? There are things we can do as parents. Cameron reminds us, “We can’t run from technology.” We’ve got to figure out the balance be- tween time in true interpersonal relationships and time on our de- vices. Koch says the most important thing we can do is “engage” with our children, being fully present during designated time to- gether. Gregson says that it’s important to see it as training, not teaching, them how to use their technology responsibly. “If I make all their decisions, they’re not learning,” he says. He encourages dis- cussions, not lectures, as you establish boundaries. In Screenagers, pediatrician Leslie Walker says, “Kids appreciate limits.” Taking away their phones to ensure they’re getting good sleep for example may be necessary. The term “digital citizenship” – at home, at work and at school – is a new concept we all need to understand. Even companies like Google and Facebook are showing how productivity is increased when employees have time designated to get off their phones. In two hours, each of these movies could only scratch the surface in exploring all the ways technology, screen time and social media are impacting society today, especially in our teens, but it gets the con- versation started. It’s a conversation that will go on for a long time… Twenty-five percent of American teens admit to being connected to a device within five minutes of waking up.