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Rest Your Case Experts answer your most pressing legal questions goodLIFEfamily LIVE. LEARN. LAUGH. REPEAT. good familyThe Go-To Source for Parents of Kids Tweens to Twenties July August 2015 GoodLifeFamilyMAG.com Wrapped Too Tight DATING DRIVING SOCIAL MEDIA MORE CAN WE PROTECT THEM COOL UPDATES HOT HOME TRENDS Girlfriend Goals Good Morning Texas Paige McCoy Smith shares her tips on keeping friendship alive TEEN DATING INTEL THE VERSATILE WHITE TEE COLLEGE PACKING CHECK LIST GOOD TIMES PARTY PICS AND SO MUCH MORE plusplusplus plus TRANSFORM YOUR DORM With these how-to tips w w w . S T A R F L O O R S . c o m 8 6 6 - 5 0 3 - S T A R 7 8 2 7 Visit our website or call to schedule an in-home appointment with one of our highly trained professionals C A R P E TC A R P E TC A R P E TC A R P E T W O O DW O O DW O O DW O O D T I L ET I L ET I L ET I L E WE HAVE YOU C O V E R E D WE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOUWE HAVE YOU C O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E DC O V E R E D 4 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 JULY AUGUST CONTENTS AND MUCH MORE ONTHE COVER 35 Wrapped Too Tight Dating driving social media more can we protect them Every effort has been made to authenticate the information contained on these pages. Should you find an error omission or issue with the content please contact us.The opinions and expressions contained herein are those of the myriad of specialists and of parents and children who were willing to offer their input and are not necessarily endorsed or shared by the staff or ownership of Good Life Family or its parent company SLP Company LLC. 15 Hot Home Trends Five do-able do-overs to increase your propertys value while making it the home of your dreams 67 Girlfriend Goals Good Morning Texas Paige McCoy Smith shares her tips on keeping friends close 28 Transform Your Dorm 12 Asked Answered Expert answers to your most pressing legal questions GOOD EATS 24 DELIcious DELI NEWS delivers the goods GOODTO GO 26 Purposeful Packing A simplified comprehensive pre-college packing and to-do list to make the first steps a little easier GOOD PEOPLE 8 VIP Award Recipient Lauren Zlotky GOOD ADVICE 48 Learning Curve Ahead The ABCs of mental health for college-bound teens 42 Does No Mean GO Dr. Sandy Gluckman tells us how to establish healthy boundaries GOOD KIDS 34 Young CEOs She makes me happy. says Sydney Pizette of best buddy Lindsay Steudtner. The Good Kid Award Page 32 46 Teen Dating Love may be blind but parents need to recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship 14 Planning for the Long Term 20 Is Now the Time to Build Your Dream Home We asked Guaranty Banks CEO Chuck Cowell 22 Understanding the Sandwich Generation 54 Book Review Missoula The hard to hear story you need to hear GOODTIMES 58 Capers Cooking Parties Bobbie Ames is on a mission to make meals fun again 60 Calendar and Event Photos My girlfriends serve as the wine to my soul Paige McCoy Smith on what her girlfriends mean to her pictured above right with friends Jennifer Lanter and Angie Carpenter. Find out what other local moms had to say Page 57 It was a lot of fun Says Kyle Heckel age 12 about the GLF cover story photo shoot Page 35 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 5 Since 1998 Chaiken Chaiken PC has estab- lished a reputation for honesty integrity and in- novation that has earned the recognition of their clients peers judges and indeed even their adver- saries. Whether the case is for a single individual or a Fortune 500 compa- ny the firm employs the same dedication and per- sonal commitment for every case. Specializing in Business and Injury Litigation. 5801 Tennyson Pkwy 440 Legacy Town Center III Plano TX 75024 214 265-0250 www.chaikenlaw.com PASSION. INTEGRITY. FORTITUDE. CHAIKEN CHAIKEN A T T O R N E Y S 6 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 You can run but you cant hide. The line was originated by the heavyweight champion Joe Louis just before his 1946 rematch victory over the lighter faster Billy Conn. Conn was boasting pre-bout about his strategy to hit and run and the ever-confident Louis responded He can run but he cant hide I say these words often. My kids would say too often. I suppose youve guessed that I have never been a believer in running nor hiding. Turns out Louis underestimated his opponents feistiness and it nearly cost him the title. And it also turns out boxing is a great metaphor for facing lifes challenging choices. As parents we often feel like we are in a philosophicalboxingmatchwithalighterfaster opponent our kids We take our eyes off the prize for a split second and BANG weve been sucker punched Kids are savvier than ever they know how to play the rope-a- dope. They let us think we are in control and whileweare tryingtokeepupwiththeirgrades their social media and their whereabouts they are busy perfecting the bob and weave Tweens and teens are particularly vulnerable to underestimating the consequences of their adolescent missteps. The choices our teens make can sometimes make them and us want to run and hide but ultimately there is nothing to be gained by running to a different school state or continent because you cant outrun yourself. As I often say Wherever you go there you are. As parents we have to be ever-wiser and step up our game to keep up with our kids. Whats your parenting style Are you a roll with the punches relaxed parent a stay in your neutral corner parent or a jump into center ring and go the distance type Our mission with Good Life Family is to open the doors of communication to encourage parents to talk to their kids to otherparentsandtoprofessionalresources availabletothem.Ourteamof editors writers and advisors are in the ringside seats and its our goal to channel your inner contender. I am grateful to share the parenting journey with you. Punch us in on Facebook slip us some pictures and knock us out with your thoughts. These are challenging times. Lets go the distance together. Lets Get Ready to Rumble - Sheryl THE GOOD PEOPLE at goodLIFEfamily ABOUT US There are two things parents hope to give their children roots and wings. But its often hard to know if the decisions were making are the right ones especially when the world is changing so quickly. GoodLifeFamily is a resource for parents with kids tweens to twenties. GoodLifeFamilywill help navigate the challenges of raising good kids kids who will find their own paths to happiness. Extensive and insightful content will address the daily joys and struggles of finding a balance between kids and parents while keeping ourselves sane in the process. GoodLifeFamily also celebrates parents who are making a difference in their families their communities and to those in need.Youll meet inspiring women and men who have stared down lifes challenges survived and now are willing to share their journey with you. GoodLifeFamily is committed to making a difference in the lives of our families friends and communities as the go-to source. Werelivingwerelearningandmostimportant werelaughing.Wehopeyouwilltoo. Contact Us SUBSCRIBE GoodLifeFamilyMag.com ADVERTISE Kim Brown at 214.280.6838 or kimberlygoodlifefamilymag.com SUBMIT EDITORIAL IDEAS TriciaWhite at triciagoodlifefamilymag.com EDITORIAL TEAM Sheryl Lilly Pidgeon Founder and Editor-In-Chief Sherylgoodlifefamilymag.com Direct 214.476.8131 TriciaWhite Managing Editor Triciagoodlifefamilymag.com Direct 214.725.1981 Tracy Graivier Bell Senior Copy Editor Kendel Ahnell Digital Magazine Editor Kendelgoodlifefamily.com Melissa Chaiken SocialandPhilanthropyEditor Melissagoodlifefamilymag.com JennyWood SchoolandEducationEditor Jennygoodlifefamilymag.com Rick Seaney TravelEditor Farecompare.com Bobbie Ames FoodEntertainingEditor Bobbiegoodlifefamilymag.com WRITERS Karyn Brodsky Madison Cook Jeanne Glick Cala Pence Charles Satterfield JulieTaylor AliciaWanek ADVERTISING Sonia Black AdvertisingAccountExecutive Soniagoodlifefamilymag.com Direct 214.232.3040 Melinda Bogoslavsky AdvertisingAccountExecutive Melindagoodlifefamilymag.com Direct 214.264.0975 MARKETING EVENTS Kimberly Brown Marketing Manager Kimberlygoodlifefamilymag.com Direct 214.280.6838 BUSINESS OFFICE Deborah Leshefsky KeeperofTheBooks Michael Doyle CPA PRODUCTION TEAM Beth Donahue CreativeDirector James Bland Photography Bill Brock Videographer MichaelTinglin UserExperienceManager GOOD LIFE FAMILY 3308 PRESTON ROAD STE 350 PMB 113 PLANO TX 75093 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com LIVE.LEARN.LAUGH. SPAR REPEAT. In the boxing ring of life its not how hard you can hit but rather how many times you can get hit and keep moving forward. - Rocky GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 7 Contributors Rick Seaney Travel Expert Internationally known travel and airfare expert Rick Seaney CEO and co-founder of FareCompare is the medias go-to resource for airline industry news. Ricks mission is clear I want to help consumers find the best flight deals available every time they shopand he loves to share his insider information. Besides his advice blog on FareCom- pare Rick began writing a weekly col- umn for ABC News back in 2008 which continues to this day he is also USA TodaysAirfareExpertcolumnistaswell as a regular contributor to Fox News and is frequently quoted in the pages of the NewYorkTimesWall St. Journal Huffington Post and more. DianaWeaver VPThe Grant Halliburton Foundation Diane Weaver is Vice President of Devel- opment and Community Relations at Grant Halliburton Foundation a non- profitorganizationthatworkstoprevent suicide promote mental health and strengthenthenetworkofmentalhealth resources for teens and young adults in North Texas. She has successfully launched three sons into college and the young- est graduates this month from Santa Clara University in California. Dr. Susan Sugerman Adolescent Medicine Physician Board Certified by the American Academy of Pediatrics Dr. Sugerman is the presi- dent and co-founder of Girls to Women Health and Wellness GTW a multidis- ciplinary medical practice in north Dallas dedicated to the physical and emotional needs of girls and young women ages 10-25. Published au- thor and speaker on subjects ranging from adolescent develop- ment bullying sex- uality and risk taking to resilience and preparing teens to tran- sition to college she brings a professional perspective onwhats normal and whats notwhen considering the struggles and celebrations of our youth as well as some wisdom about how the grownups in their livescansupportthemtobecomehealthy adults who can take good care of them- selves. Paige McCoy Smith TV Personality PaigeMcCoySmithisatelevisionpersonali- ty radio host and professional speaker who has entertained and educated audiences with content that resonates with the notsoperfectside oflife. Sheisaregu- laronWFAAChannel 8s Good Morning Texas and has made a name for herself being a real and relat- able mom who gives women the freedom to be who they are perfectly imperfect. As Paige saysIts not about being perfect. Its aboutbeingreal.Letsstumbleonthisjour- ney together. Sandy Gluckman PhD Functional Behavior Health Coach Dr. Sandy is a Functional Behavior and Health Coach for parents who have children that are struggling with learn- ing mood and behavior challenges. Her internationally acclaimed program Par- entsTakeCharge.com introduces parents to drug-free options to treating learning behavior and mood challenges as well as teaches new ways of parenting. She lectures runs work- shops and con- sults throughout the world live or online. Kristin Cicciarelli Professional Writer Kristin Cicciarelli is a freelance writer and editor in the Dallas area spe- cializing in ghost writing magazine articles marketing content including newsletters and advertising and help- ing small businesses improve their search engine rankings. Her articles generally focusing on living a healthier more balanced life have appeared in a numberofprintande-zinesitesinclud- ingDallasChildSkinInc.LesNouvelles Aesthetiques Dermascope In With Skin AZ Net News and more. Cecily Knobler Stand-Up Comic Film Critic andWriter Radio host writer and stand-up comic Ce- cily Knobler currently writes and hosts Live from Hollywood provid- ing film reviews and entertainment re- ports for 15 FM radio commercial markets across the U.S. and Canada. She was a longtime cast member onVH1spopularTVshowBestWeekEveras a commentator on pop culture politics and film. Cecily has written for many TV shows and magazines including NBCs Ready for Love Food Networks Cupcake Wars US WEEKLY and Los Angeles Magazine. She authored a non-fiction book entitled Shes Crazy Hes a Liar which combines funny personal dating stories with relationship advice. Its available in major bookstores or at cecilyknobler.com. goodPEOPLE Its a WrapCover Story Photo Shoot The GLF creative team thanks these good sports for their model behavior and endurance and for allowing us to encase them in plastic during the 3-hour photo session. Photographed by James Bland Dallas Photo Studio www.jamesblandphoto.com James is not just a tenured and talented photographer with a huge range every- thing from head shots to record labels and a client list from Mack Trucks to Morgan Stanleyheisalsoablasttoworkwith. He pours his heart and soul into every photo whether its for Rolling Stone or the new local player he took under his wing GoodLifeFamily. Styled by Elle Parks Elle Parks Studios www.elleparksphotography.com twitter.comelleparksphoto Elle has a deep-rooted passion for pho- tography fashion people and storytell- ing.Shehasbeenprivilegedwithhands-onexperienceinNew York City Italy France and Dallas. Special thanks to Jeff Sachs president of Progressive Packag- ing for supplying a ton it seemed like it of bubble wrap. Pictured here our models Isaiah Robinson 15 Samantha Ito 13 Sydney Sachs 16 Maddie Parks 13 LoganWhite 16 notpicturedKyleHeckel12 Amy Levenson Krumholz Designer and Stylist Amy Levenson Krumholz has worked in the fashion world for over 20 years. For 14 years she owned a showroom at the Dallas Apparel Mart and represented over 85 lines of womens clothing and accessories. She has designed three lines of contemporary sportswear and served as a retail buyer consultant and stylist on numerous photo shoots. For the last 12 years Amy has worked with individual clients helping them discover their own per- sonal style. Her services include ward- robe assessment closet makeovers and per- sonal shopping.You may have caught one of Amys fashion segments on Good Morning Texas.Shehasthreewonderfulboysatthree different schools which keep her very busy 8 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 VIPAWARD Heroes for Children advocates for and provides financial and social assis- tancetofamilieswithchildrenbattlingcancerandisfoundedinmemoryof Taylor Anne Brewton and AllisonAllieLeigh Scott who both passed away from Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Taylor passed away at just 4 years old after en- during 11 months of cancer treatment. Taylors family started a non-profit organization called Taylors Angels in her memory to provide financial assistancetootherfamilieswithchildrenbat- tling cancer. Allie passed away from the same disease as Taylor at the tender age of 8 months 27 days after three rounds of chemotherapy 80 blood transfusions and a stem cell transplant. In October 2004 Larissa Linton Taylors mom and Jenny Scott Allies mom met soon after the death of Jennys daughter Allie.The need for Heroes for Children became evident to Co-Founders Larissa and Jenny after they recounted not only the devastating effects of childhood cancer during their daughters treatments but also the blessings they each re- ceived from their community. Unfortunately they each saw many other families struggling without the aid and care of others. Families were losing their homes having their electricity shut off and struggling to make ev- eryday payments.Together they saw a need for a more comprehensive or- ganization and formed Heroes for Children in December 2004. Itwasthedesireofthesetwomomstoserveother families battling childhood cancer.Our vision is that no family with a child battling cancer will fight alone. For information or to donate or volunteer contact HeroesForChildren.org. SPOTLIGHT ON HEROES FOR CHILDREN A Lot to Live For A MOTHER OF TWO SETS OF TWINS LAUREN ZLOTKY COURAGEOUSLY SET HER SIGHTS ON BEATING BREAST CANCERAND UNLOCKED A PASSION FOR HELPING OTHERS BATTLE THE DISEASE IN THE PROCESS. When Lauren Zlotky found out she was pregnant with twins she was surprised and elated. After years of miscarriages and sev- eral failed In Vitro Fertilization attempts she and her husband Jeff were finally going to have a baby make that two babies Two years later she was in for another surprise. After trying so hard for her boys Ryan and Reid she was shocked to find out she was pregnant naturally with another set of twins and this time they were girls. They are truly a miracle she says. We were in shock but we were also very excited and very happy to be able to have more children. Lauren says she was excited about the arriv- al of her girls Kallie and Megan but she was also very concerned about taking care of four young children. An important lesson shes learned from parenting two sets of twins is that she doesnt have to be perfect. I think we get caught up on being the perfect parent and were so hard on ourselves she says. Theyre not going to remember if you took them to every story time. Dont sweat the small stuff. The little things you worry about really dont matter. While her four children were very young Lauren also owned and operated two companies Quest Pro Con- sultants an executive search firm and Q Temps a tem- porary agency both in the insurance industry. After a few years of traveling and dealing with the stress of being a business owner Lauren realized she was jealous of her live-in nanny because the nanny got to spend her days with Laurens children. I knew it wasnt worth it any- more she recalls. I didnt want to miss any more of their childhood. So I sold my businesses. About a year later when the twins were six and three Lau- ren was in for another shock. At the age of 43 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. When she found out she had cancer Lauren re- calls she said to the doctor I dont have time for cancer I have four kids under the age of six You have to get rid of this Although breast cancer ran in her family Lauren was stunned when she received the diagnosis because she had tested negative for the BRCA gene which checks for genetic mutations that cause cancer. Luckily the fast growing cancer was was caught early and over the next year Lauren was able to go through chemotherapy radiation and fi- nally surgery. I had a great network of support she says. My husband his family my parents and my brother were all there for me. She says throughout her treatment her husband Jeff was her rock. He was calm as I was going through it. He was trying to be strong for me. Both of us are positive thinkers so I think that helped. - HeroesForChildren.org. by JulieTaylor Contributor Lauren with Jeff Ryan Allie Megan and Reid celebrating the girlsfirst birthday. VIPAWARD Life can get messy... ....let Insights help clean up your mess. Healthy living requires an holistic approach mind body and spirit. Therapy is like yoga for your mind it calms it stretches it strengthens it builds endurance. Insights provides a comfortable relaxed and inviting environment where you can calm your heart stretch your mind strengthen your internal resources and build your skills and endurance to face lifes difficulties. Anger Management Abuse Recovery ADDADHD Alcohol Drug Addiction Anxiety Behavior Problems with Kids and Teens Career Problems Co-Dependency Compulsive Behavior Depression Mood Disorders Parenting Problems Pre-MaritalMarital Counseling Divorce Recovery Relationship Problems Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders Sex Addiction Sexual Problems Social Skill Problems in Children Trauma 214.706.0508 insightstherapy.com 5445 La Sierra Drive Suite 204 Dallas TX 75231 During the treatment Lau- rens children were so young they didnt fully understand. I think being a mom of four young kids really helped me through my can- cer treatments she says. They kept me busy. I didnt have time to think about it I just lived my life the best way I could. Now Ryan and Reid are 14 and Kallie and Megan are 11. The children are involved in a variety of activities which keeps the family really busy. Lauren is a dedicated volunteer for Heroes for Children a charity that ad- vocates for and provides financial and social assistance to families with chil- dren going through cancer. Heroes for Children means so much to me be- cause of what they do for families with cancer. I realized I was so blessed not to have any financial hardships while going through cancer treatment that I wanted to support families who are not only dealing with a very ill child but are also often losing half their family income due to one parent quitting their job to be with the sick child. Double the funTwin sisters Megan and Allie in front and twin brothers Reid and Ryan with parents Lauren and Jeff during a recent vacation in Mexico. Swimming with the dolphins.Lauren celebrates the end of cancer treatment in Cabo Mexico with friends and family. Our VIP Very Inspiring Parent Award honors the everyday and not-so-everyday heroes in our midst.Those whose tenacity integrity and courage inspire others to exemplify the same character and put their families and community first in spite of the challenges life has thrown at them. Good Life Family will present the recipient with an elegant crystal award and will make a donation to the charity of their choice.There will be one VIP Award recipient in each issue of Good Life Family Magazine and featured on GoodLifeFamily.com. For complete details and to nominate someone for this prestigious award visit www.goodlifefamilymag.com or email us atTriciagoodlifefamilymag.com. I dont have time for cancer I have four kids under the age of six Lauren Zlotky 10 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 LIGHT FARMS Light Farms NEW HOMES NOW IN AWARD-WINNING PROSPER ISD by Karyn Brodsky StaffWriter goodLIVING Need to move in time for the school year Panic no more. A brand new home in an environmentally-friendly setting with lush landscapes hiking and biking trails and exceptional life- style amenities is as close as Celina TX. And as an added bonus a brand new on-site elementary school opens this August. Light Farms a 1070 acre master-planned community is mak- ing the transition easy for those with a tight time frame by offering move-in ready homes. Construction of a total of 3000 homes is planned with a projected population of 10000 residents. Choose from eight area builders who represent some of the nations best. Light Farms is located less than 15 minutes from some of DFWs best shopping dining and entertainment and an exit off the Dallas North Tollway is planned as an accessible main road into the com- munity. With designs for every preference prices that range from 240s to the 700s and lot sizes from 50 to 90 feet your move-in ready home will allow you to be situated in time for the school year. Andspeakingof schoolsyoullnotonlyliveinabeautifulhome but your child will get a great education at the new Light Farms Elementary School. Part of the acclaimed Prosper Independent School District ISD the school will open for the fall term. This highly acclaimed school district has a reputation for excellence and is one of the fastest-growing school districts in the nation. Mindful that a quality education plays a key role in a vibrant community Dallas-based developer Republic Property Group RPG designed Light Farms so children can safely walk or bike to school. RPG do- nated 11 acres within Light Farms plus 2 million to Prosper ISD to build the ele- mentary school and there are plans for more on-site schools and daycares in fu- ture phases. Have a teen Prosper ISDs brand new 113.5 million high school is located adjacent to the community. According to RPG Marketing Coordinator Steph- anie Liebbe Light Farms was created to change the way families think about suburban living. The award-winning Collin County community which debuted in 2012 is designed around a passion to bring people together to promote a healthy lively attitude that resonates throughout the community adds Liebbe. Community events such as concert series farm-to-table gatherings field days and movie nights are planned on the central lawn to achieve this goal. A Community Supported Agriculture CSA program features fresh organic produce shares pre-pur- chased online provided by local farm Johnsons Backyard Garden. The CSA meets on Saturdays from 9-12 pm at the Farm Stand in the central Barn Yard. Committed to offering locally sourced natu- ral foods and other products the Farm Stand at Light Farms is also home to a natural food co-op program that offers items like grass- fed beef organic cheese coffee nuts and skin care products. The programs are open to Light Farms residents and the surrounding community. Light Farms further reinforces its focus on healthy living for its residents with a fitness center four resort-style pools and four tennis courts as well as brand new amenities basketball and bocce ball with pickleball and sand volleyball coming soon. Scenic hiking and biking trails winding through Light Farms allow families to stay active and a bike-sharing program makes it easy. In addition there are 132 acres of manicured green space in- cluding a greenbelt playgrounds pocket parks and an extensive lake system. nated 11 acres within Photo courtesy of Destiny Darcy of Bellini Studios Photo courtesy of Shana Anderson 12 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Asked Answered Asked Answered ANSWERS TO YOUR IMPORTANT LEGAL QUESTIONS FROM OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS Q Your kid gets injured by another kids recklessness but that family is your good friend. What do you do AThis situation happens frequently and raises a number of questions both legal and moral. Nobody wants to make claim against a friend and the process can be emotional when it occurs. But there may be times when a claim is in fact warranted. The starting point is to understand how and why an incident occurred. Was somebody negligent If so then legally there is a claim to be made possibly against the other child or the parent. The next and probably most important consideration is the severity of the injuries involved and the potential long term ramifications from a medical expense and suffering standpoint. The good news is that depending on the circumstances the other family and child are likely to be cov- ered by some form of insurance that would apply such as homeowners or automobile. So while it may be uncomfortable to make a claim against friends in a sense it would be that familys insurance company that actually pays the damages if there is liability. The decision to pursue a claim against a friend or neighbor is largely a personal decision and typically involves more than the just the legal analysis. But in the end as parents we owe it to our children to make sure that they are adequately protected and there are times when doing so may be uncomfort- able but necessary. - Robert L. Chaiken Chaiken Chaiken P.C. Q My daughter recently turned 18 and is preparing to leave for college. Her friends have been talking about needing to sign legal documents. What type of documents does my daughter need and why AParents are surprised to find out that they are no longer entitled to receive medical information or make business or medical decisions for their child who has turned eighteen. This is often discovered when their child is away at col- lege becomes ill or injured and the parents are trying to talk to doctors in another city to find out how their child is doing and obtain medical records to share with their own trusted physicians. Parents have also faced problems when trying to take care of business matters for their student. Examples include the inability to handle an issue with next semesters apartment lease or obtain school records while the student is travelling on a semester abroad. Some simple documents can help avoid these and similar issues. In order to make medical decisions and speak to med- ical professionals for your child a Medical Power of Attorney is needed. The Medical Power of Attorney becomes effective when someone is unable to make their own medical decisions. It is also advisable to execute a HIPAA Release to allow the parents to obtain their childs medical records. Some attorneys under certain circumstances may even suggest that your child execute a Medical Directive a living will which allows the person to instruct physicians to withhold or withdraw life sustaining treatment in the event of a terminal or irreversible condition. A Statutory Durable Power of Attorney is needed to allow the parent to make business decisions and sign documents for their child. It names the parents as their childs agent and grants broad powers to act on the childs behalf. Some parents even ask if their child needs a will. That is a case by case basis determination but not always necessary. It is important to note that these documents have certain legal requirements. Most estate planning attorneys that I know will prepare the main documents for a very reasonable fee. If your child plans to go to an out-of-state university it is advisable to talk to an attorney in that other state. The legal requirements of these forms can vary state to state and it is important that the documents will be effective in both Texas and your childs university location. - Corinne Frank Law Offices of Mirliss and Frank PLLC PERSONAL INJURYMEDICAL LIABILITY Robert Chaiken Rob Chaiken is a member of the State Bar of Texas and is a member of the United States District Courts for Northern Southern East- ern and Western Districts of Texas and the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. HehasbeenselectedasTexasMonthly Super Lawyer a distinction that is awarded to less the 5 of lawyers throughout Texas. He is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell which is the highest ethical and professional rating. He is a frequent lecturer and is also a partic- ipating member and Texas representative of the Child Injury Network an association of lawyers dedicated to child safety issues and the protection of children through litigation when necessary. Q My 26-year-old daughter is engaged and her fianc has asked her to sign a prenuptial agree- ment. What does this entail and should we be concerned APrenuptial agreements are more common now than ever. They have the effect of changing the rules from what Texas law says will happen in a divorce to what the parties agree will happen. To understand the impact its important to first know the difference between community property and separate property. If there is a divorce in your daughters future community property you can think of it as property that belongs to the marriage will be divided. Separate property will go with the person it belongs to. There are several forms of separate property but the three most common are What was owned prior to marriage What was acquired during marriage by gift including a gift from the other spouse What was received by way of inheritance With some exceptions income from separate property belongs to the community. Most of the time the purpose of a premarital agreement is to change community property to separate property. So if your daughters fianc has a good job or owns a business he will likely want the agreement to say that the money he earns from his job or brings in from his business remains his separate property. Otherwise Texas law would make it subject to division upon divorce. The agreement might also say that no community estate will be created at all that the only property owned will be either his or hers. She might also see some more complicated provisions like contingencies for the marriage lasting longer than a certain pe- riod of time or having children. The more complicated and convoluted a pre-marital agreement is the more difficult it may be to enforce later. To be enforceable at all the agreement will need to be in writing and signed by your daughter and her fianc. There is nothing wrong with these agreements so long as everyone knows what theyre giving up and what theyre getting. It will be important for your daughter to know the extent of her fiancs property and debts just as its important for her to have her own attorney involved in the drafting and review of the final product. - Jeffrey Anderson Orsinger Nelson Downing and Anderson LLP goodADVICE THE EXPERTS ESTATE PLANNING AND PROBATE Corinne Frank Corinne Gallant Frank is an attorney in pri- vate practice with Law Offices of Mirliss and Frank PLLC. She joined Law Offices of Mirliss and Frank PLLC in 2014 which offers services to clients in Dallas Collin Denton and sur- rounding counties. She is a 1991 graduate of The University of Texas School of Law. She lives in Plano with her husband and children andinhersparetimesheenjoysvolunteering with both a pro bono legal services organiza- tion and in the community with her children. FAMILY LAW Jeffrey Anderson Jeffrey Anderson joined Orsinger Nelson Downing and Anderson LLP in 2012 after 17 years of running his own firm The Anderson Law Group. He has devoted his legal career to Family Law litigation and the betterment of the field of Family Law as a whole. Jeff is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization and is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. He has been named to the Texas Super Lawyers list every year since that dis- tinction has been granted and consistently named one of D Magazines Best Lawyers in Dallas. Have a legal question Email your questions to TriciaGoodLifeFamilyMag.com 14 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodADVICE A Plan You Can Live With Planning for long-term care can make a world of difference by AliciaWanek StaffWriter 14 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Youve probably heard people say recently that 50 is the new 40. We look younger eat better and live longer than our parents generation. However if were living longer but still want to retire at age 65 our money may have to last a LONG time and the likelihood for the need for some type of long-term assisted living or nursing home care increases with life expectancy. Whats the best way to plan for the financial burden of those senior years Consider this real-life scenario An older couple raises five boys who are now successfully raising families of their own. The couple lives in the same home they had been in for decades when the husband falls ill and passes away after a short illness. The sons begin to notice a decline in their mothers mental state and make the decision to help her to move to an assisted living facility. Thanks to their fathers purchase of a long-term care policy many years before to cover the 7500month for her care the savings to those sons and their families was approximately 350000 before her death. A recent conversation with Bobby Davidson local independent insurance agent and Steve Davis of Insurance Designer one of the largest insurance wholesalers highlighted some of the new trends in long-term care options. In their combined 50 years in the insurance business theyve seen the benefits for families when good planning has eased the burdens to clients and their loved ones. Steve says the life insurance industry has been looking for ways to help while youre still alive. One of the newest concepts is a guaranteed universal life policy. Bobby believes this is a fantastic hybrid of a term-life policy and a long-term care policy. The rates are guaranteed for ten years or more and operate like any other term policy with benefits for loved ones if the policy holder dies. BUT it also offers a long-term care rider offering care benefits if you need them while the policy is in place. According to Bobby traditional long-term care policy sales have decreased from 600000 policies sold in 2000 to about 150000 last year. This new concept offers an alternative. It may be time to see if your parents have plans for coverage of their long-term care needs and its never too early to be planning for your own. If you are a sole proprietor you can even write off a portion of your premium and remember insurance is tax-free so its always a good investment. Bobby says Remember the first priorities are to have a will and power of attorney. Insurance is the next step. According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services about 60 percent of individuals over age 65 will require at least some type of long-term care services during their lifetime. With rates in DFW averaging 180day and over 400day in places like Boston it can add up quickly. Let an agent like Bobby help you to figure out how NOT to leave that cost to your children. Give yourself that peace of mind so you can enjoy how good you look and feel right now. For more information contact your insurance agent or contact Bobby Davidson at 972.980.4884 for a complimentary 360 Review Consultation. According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services about 60 percent of individuals over age 65 will require at least some type of long-term care services during their lifetime. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 15GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 15 Cool Updates Hot Home Trends WHETHER ITS NEW HOME CONSTRUCTION UPDATING YOUR CURRENT RESIDENCE OR BUILDING AN ADDITION THESE FIVE DO-ABLE DO-OVERS CAN INCREASE YOUR PROPERTYS VALUE WHILE MAKING IT THE HOME OF YOUR DREAMS. by JulieTaylor Contributor When you decide to re-do the flooring in your home you want a company you can trust to install quality material and do the job right. Thats where Star Floors comes in a family-owned and operated 4th generation business. With headquarters in Dallas Star Floors oper- ates in 40 states on a daily basis. Hardwood is an excellent material for flooring and its even made its way into the kitchen. Hardwood makes a great design statement. It is durable easy to clean and often increases the value of the home says Steven D. Pidgeon Star Floors Chief Executive Officer. According to Pidgeon hardwood as well as other hard surface flooring like luxury vinyl plank and tile is gaining on carpet for a va- riety of reasons including a significant reduction in prices. Pidgeon says Star Floors offerings include carpet natural stone ceramic and porcelain tile hardwood pre-finished andor fin- ished on-site luxury vinyl plank and tile and ar- tificial turf. SinceStarFloorsoperatesnationwidetheycanhelponbothendsof amove.Theyserviceresidentialaswellascommercialcustomerssuch as senior living centers and country clubs. Star Floors works closely with real estate agents and you can shop at home with a trained pro- fessional. The best testament to Star Floors quality products and ser- vicesarehappycustomerslikeDorisBonvinoofVirginiaCookRealty. IhaveknownStevenfor15yearsandIrecommendStarFloors100 of the time. Bonvino says she is always called after job completion to ensure she and her clients are satisfied and Star Floors goes above and beyond in their service from the initial consultation to installation to clean-up. Its not often you find a company that will call to check to make sure everything went well she says. Visit Star Floors at www.starfloors.com for more information. TREND 1 HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE Star Floors goes above and beyond in their service from the initial consultation to installation to clean-up. - Doris Bonvino Realtor 16 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodLIVING TREND 2 HOME GYMS PROMOTE HEALTHY LIVING The home-improvement industry recognizes that its fiscal fitness may be based on its clients physical fitness and a workout room could also mean the difference in the value of your home. According to the National Association of Home Builders one-third of new and potential home buyers list a home gym as essential or desirable. With that trend more and more people are adding fitness equipment or dedicating rooms for fitness in their homes. Dont know where to start Look no further than Craig Lewin vice president of Fitcorp USA which owns 12 Busy Body and Fitness HQ stores throughout the DFW Metroplex. Lewin says customers are turn- ing to home gyms so they can work out as a family and for the conve- nience of not having to leave home to get in a workout. The experts at Busy Body and Fitness HQ will work with you to custom tailor a home gym to fit your fitness goals and budget and that will fit within the space available in your home. Lewin says one of his most popular pieces of equipment is The Hoist MI7 a corner unit multi-functional training system that doesnt take up much space. It can help with all levels of strengthening muscles such as chest press- es working on the backbicepstriceps pull-ups squats and more. Its great because you can even put it in a 10-by-10 room says Lewin. Lewin is a huge fan of the Power Plate a 3-by-3 foot vibration trainer. The vibration trainer works on the lymphatic system including muscle strengthening pulse and blood circulation. For cardio Lewin recommends an elliptical trainer. He says the ellip- tical trainer provides the benefits of running or walking on a treadmill without the impact. For those hoping to streamline their costs Lewin points to a bench or stability ball with PowerBlocks which are adjust- able dumbbells. These take up no space at all he says. Theyre literally 1.5-by-1.5 feet and replace 16 pairs of dumbbells or 825 pounds of your old free weights. To find a Busy Body or Fitness HQ store near you go to www. busybodytx.com or www.fitnessheadquarters.com. One-third of new and potential home buyers list a home gym as essential or desirable. - National Association of Home Builders TREND 3 MULTI-GENERATIONAL LIVING ARRANGEMENTS OFFER PEACE OF MIND Do you have an aging parent who may need to move into your home in the near future If so you may want to add on to your home or remodel your home to meet ADA standards. Scott and Ann OBlenes recently added onto their home to accommodate Anns mother. Even if you have a big enough lot Ann strong- ly discourages adding a separate guest house to a property. Typically the price per square foot of a separate free-standing structure will be less than the price per square foot of the main home she says. It can really be an asset to your home if you do it right. If you are ready to take that next step in designing an ad- dition Ann suggests making the space a multi-purpose room instead of solely a guest room. When we added on my mother wasnt ready to move in yet so we used it as a game room she says. It worked great for that. It also functions well as a room for my mother now. The addition at the OBlenes home includes a spacious room a bathroom and a closet. It has space for a bed as well as an area for relaxing in front of the television. They purposely did not include a kitchenette as part of the design to encourage her mother to join them at meals. To meet ADA standards Ann says the addition includes widened doorways and a larger bathroom with extra grab bars. The bathroom also has accommodations to turn on the faucet from a seated or standing position and the floors are flush throughout. The addition also includes an exterior door in case of a fire emergency. goodLIVING Adding on to your home can be an asset if you do it right. - Ann OBlenes Realtor Performance Partners at REMAX Dallas Suburbs Ann OBlenes with children Chris and Katie and her mom Joan Scowcroft in the room addition she and husband Scott built for her. TREND 4 UPSCALE OUTDOOR ENVIRONMENTS Just like the Texas weather outdoor living is hotter than ever. Homeowners look for ways to increase their exterior ambiance and Dallas-based Starpower a leader in high-end custom instal- lations of home theater audio video security custom leather and automation makes it easy. It looks like the formal living room is out and the outdoor living is in says Starpower CEO David Pidgeon. Outdoor living is synonymous with the healthy and relaxed life- style we are all seeking and the backyard has become an extension of the home. Many of these spaces are not only beautifully designed they are functional as well. Most have at least a built-in grill if not a built-in refrigerator wine cooler and other amenities. Video and sound are also making their way to the backyard Pidgeon says. Kids can lis- ten to music on a sound system as they swim while adults can catch the game on an outdoor television while cooking on a grill or pizza oven. The possibilities are endless he says. Starpowers systems include weather-resistant flat screen TVs for outdoor mounting on patio walls or above outdoor brick fireplace mantles and complete audio systems including custom outdoor speakers. Starpower also offers lawn-side theater screens and projectors for memorable movie nights with the kids. In ad- dition to media solutions Starpowers sister company Ed Kellum Appliances has all your outdoor kitchen needs covered. Choose from customized appliances including refrigerators pizza ovens wine cellars kegorators and more. Visit www.star-power.com or www.edkellum.com to turn your backyard into the outdoor living area of your dreams. Starpower also offers lawn-side theater screens and projectors for memorable movie nights with the kids. goodLIVING Ann OBlenes 972.898.6600 ReMax dallas suburbs facebook.comRealtyPerformancePartners A Commitment to Exemplary Service Performance Partners F rom starter home to empty nest and everything in between you can count on the Perf ormance Partners Ann O Blenes and E liz abeth Ritch to unlock your dream home. Elizabeth Ritch 972.977.4678 Performance PartnersPassion...Pursuit...Performance. TREND 5 MEDIA ROOMS BRING ENTERTAINMENT TO THE HOME Why go to the theater when you can watch a movie in the com- fort of your own home without the sticky floors Commonplace in new construction the dedicated media room is the latest choice in lieu of an extra bedroom says David Pidgeon CEO of Starpower. Families are spending more time at home and the media room is a great gathering place whether for family movie night or a big sports game he explains. Whether transforming an old game room under-utilized bed- room garage or den Starpower can create the perfect media room according to your specifications. We have the home theater ex- perts that can take any small or large project and personally guide you through each and every choice. Pidgeon takes pride in Star- powers commitment to excellent customer service which includes a fully integrated consultation from conception drawing design and completion to follow-up and maintenance care. A Starpower ex- pert will demonstrate and explain every small detail and how ev- ery tiny button works. The on-staff team of skilled craftsmen will personally and professionally transform your vision into a multi-me- dia work of art helping you to select the precise equipment for your space and your budget. In addition to electronic components and furniture Starpower can help decorate the room from a bar area to movie posters on the walls. We can take the room from bare wall to the finished product. The Starpower website www.star-power.com even has a room planner feature to help you get started. 20 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodADVICE Creating the Home of Your Dreams We all have ideas of how we would like to remodel add an extra room update the kitchen or even start seriously planning to finally live in the house we have al- ways wanted. The calls we are fielding are people taking the first steps in making their dreams a reality. -Chuck Cowell Dallas Market Chairman Guaranty Bank Trust We caught up with Chuck Cowell Dallas Market Chairman for Guaranty Bank Trust to ask about the economy and trends in lending. GLFWhen we last spoke you were upbeat and optimistic on the local economy. Do you still have the same level of optimism Chuck When people feel se- cure about their personal financ- es and the future they feel more comfortable about making major purchases such as new cars or ma- jor remodeling projects. We are seeing a number of inquiries into home improvement loans and home construction loans. GLF Home construction loans sounds like people are building dream homes or vacation homes. Chuck We all have ideas of how we would like to remodel add an extra room update the kitchen or even start seriously planning to finally live in the house we have always wanted. The calls we are fielding are people taking the first steps in making their dreams a reality. GLF What advice are you offering them Chuck A good banker knows the builders in the area and will be able to help collect information on previous projects the builder has done. A banker knows if a builder has a history of finishing on schedule staying on budget and whether the work- manship was sound. When you feel you have the right builder it then becomes a matter of tailoring the financing program to your particular financial situation. By the time you have picked your builder and met with your banker to select a financing program you will have the budget for the project. GLFM It sounds so simple when you explain it like that. Chuck Well yes and no. The process itself is simple. Once the builder financing and budget have been established it comes down to how the project fits into your long term goals. I had one client who went through the process every year for over a decade before finally deciding it was the right time. Today they are thrilled with their home and thankful they had someone to help them make the right decision. It all comes down to having a relationship banker you can work with. Individual needs require individual attention. Anyone having any questions can feel free to call us and talk about their situation even if they are not clients of our bank. Relationship bankers dont make money by selling loans. They make money by helping families business and com- munities grow. If we can help we would be glad to be of service. by Charles Satterfield StaffWriter When is the perfect time to wake up and make your dream home a reality The answer may surprise you. For more information contact Chuck Cowell at ccowellgnty.com or call 972 447-0800. FREE POLAR HEART RATE MONITOR with purchase of any piece of equipment The largest selection of fitness equipment in the metroplex. HUGE SAVINGS HOT SUMMER DEALS TAX FREE ask manager for details Zero Financing up to 12 MONTHS FREE PERSONAL TRAINER one session with purchase of any piece of equipment WITH THIS AD 20 OFF up to MSRP with any piece of equipment ALL ELLIPTICALS TREADMILLS HOME GYMS EXERCISE BIKES ON SALE NOW 22 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodOLE DAYS The Resilient Sandwich Generation Theyve been dubbed the sandwich generation middle-age people caring for aging parents while still taking care of their own children hence sandwiched between two genera- tions. According to the Pew Research Center one out of every eight Americans age 40 to 60 is raising a child and caring for a parent at home. And those numbers are only expected to rise as our population ages. Interestingly the increased pres- sure is coming pri- marily from grown children rather than aging parents according to Pew Research. Young adults have suffered most from the coun- trys recession and slow recovery. These grown children are staying longer in col- lege marrying at a lat- er age and continuing to live at home while they are unemployed or semi-employed. Given continued high unemployment rates for younger workers and longer life expectancy of the aging population these fig- ures can be expected to rise. Despite this the survey suggests that adults in the sandwich generation although feeling more rushed are just as happy with their lives as are other adults. Multi-generation living is still a viable option for some of the current sandwich generation who are supporting dependent teens and tweens as well as their own parents. Developing skills and maneuvers to min- imize stress and maxi- mize good feelings is a must for these people. The usual common sense rules like be kind to yourself accept help eat well sleep enough take breaks exercise etc. are well documented. Less obvious but perhaps the most important skill to carry the sandwich generation through tough times is resilience. The University of Michigan Depression Center comprehensively states that resil- ience is how we cope with and adjust to the stresses frustra- tion and setbacks of everyday life. Strategies for building inner strength and bolstering emo- tional reserves include changing your attitude modifying your expectations and empowering yourself. Dont forget to set lim- its on yourself and others employ all family members to par- ticipate as best they can keep all plans and expectations realis- tic and above all keep a sense of humor. The cathartic effect of humor has been well noted. In fact Dr. William Fry emeritus associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Stan- ford University has stated that laugh- ter is similar to a mild workout. Dr. Cynthia Thaik of the University of California Los Angeles School of Medicine sug- gests many ways to incorporate more laughter and joy in your life laugh at your own foi- bles a smile and a chuckle go a lot further than criti- cism find the humor in a bad situation laugh over things you cannot control recall funny mo- ments from the past and since mirth- ful laughter is con- tagious surround yourself with fun positive people. All of these lower blood pressure blood sugar levels and heart rate. Further endor- phins kick in and act as natural painkillers and mood boosters. She adds find a reason to laugh everyday. As Charlie Chaplin once said a day without laughter is a day wasted. by Jeanne Glick StaffWriter Happiness is an attitude. We can either make our- selves miserable or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. - American Artist Francesca Reigler parent at home. And those numbers are only expected to rise - - er age and continuing to live at home while they are unemployed or semi-employed. Given continued high unemployment rates of humor has been well noted. In fact Dr. William Fry emeritus associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Stan ford University has stated that laugh ter is similar to a mild workout. Dr. Cynthia Thaik of the University of California Los A day without laughter is a day wasted -Charlie Chaplin All you can change is yourself but sometimes that can change everything. - Hollywood producer Pretty Woman Gary W. Goldstein Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them the more likely they were to crack. - Author Brandon Sanderson GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 23GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 23 The following is an interview with David Stanley Founder of Custom Caregivers. GLF Tell us why you started Custom Caregivers. David My father died in 1989. He was only 65 years old. He had severe heart disease and feared being dependent on others for his care. He had all of his advanced directives in place. When he went into cardiac arrest one night lack of oxygen to his brain caused him to stroke. His worst nightmare was coming true. We as a family were faced with holding on to our dear father or hon- oring his unwavering wishes. The decision to cease all life sus- taining measures was heart wrenching but not difficult. We were carrying out the wishes of a proud and decisive man. In 2011 I had the opportunity to provide service to elders and their families who were at their own stage of a very similar pro- cess. Caring for the people that we love is about listening to what they want and trying to honor their wishes the best that we can. Although I have run several businesses this is the most gratifying work that I have ever done. GLF What makes your service unique David At Custom Caregivers we realize that people rarely make plans for care before a disaster or significant event has hap- pened. When people need care they need it now not tomorrow or next week. We are the most responsive to the immediate and ongoing needs of the clients we serve. We also never miss an as- signment. If our client needs us we are there. GLF Tell us about the people who work for youtheir trainingtheir compassion etc. David Caregiving is for people that have the passion for put- ting the needs of the elderly above anything else. The number one job requirement is to have a caring and loving heart. They also need to have the skills training and experience to care for the clients. GLF Tell us an example of how you help families who are coping with aging parents - those of us in the sandwich generation who are trying to raise our kidsworkhave a lifeand still care for our own aging parents. David Although each situation is different our job is to con- vince those aging parents to accept care to continually reassess the situation and to move more of the care from the primary care- givers family members to professional caregivers us. GLF What is your advice for a sandwich generation parent who is stressed and burdened with guilt and angst when coping with an aging parent who is often cranky and an- gry David It is hard to not take criticism personally when it comes from parents who have raised us and given so much. The truth is that we can only do what we can do. We are not super heroes. We have limited resources and time but boundless love. If you have any questions or thoughts about navigating the challenges of aging parents or being part of the Sandwich Generation we want to hear from you. Email TriciaGoodLifeFamilyMAG.com. goodADVICE Feeling the Squeeze Between Kids Aging Parents DAVID STANLEY HAS BUILT A BUSINESS HELPING THE SANDWICH GENERATION byTriciaWhite Managing Editor 24 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodEATS DELI NEWS IS THE AUTHENTIC NY STYLE DELI THAT REMINDS ME OF HOME New York DELIcious by Bobbie Ames Food Entertainment Editor To be truthful I wasnt expecting to love a self proclaimed New York deli situated in North Dallas. I spent a lot of my forma- tive food years in Philadelphia and NYC and learned soon after moving to Dallas that Id rather bypass eating some of my favorite deli foods than eat disappointing imitations. But I am happy to report that I was wrong. Deli News is the real deal and I do not say that lightly. The moment I entered Deli News I felt at home. The interior is exactly what a deli should be bustling and bursting with energy. The place was filled with families and couples both young and old and you get the sense that these are regulars that are well known to the staff. The authenticity of Deli News is earned. As soon as you are seated a house made plate of pickles is placed in front of you. They have their own bakery and produce their New York style breads and bagels daily. The smoked fish is flown in from New York and sliced in their kitchen. I visited Deli News with my 17-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter. They after all fit into the Good Life Family age group and have also inherited my general love of all good food. We took a look at the extensive menu and with the help of Zoric Adamovsky the big burly man that runs the show we ordered up some classics. My son got the classic Reuben sandwich with Swiss cheese sauerkraut and onion rings on the side. It was a huge hit in many ways. The portion size is unbelievable yet not too large for a growing teenage boy. The meat on this sandwich was so tender and flavorful that I am not really sure I can do it justice. My son a young man of few words said that deli was really good. My daughter ordered the 12 pound av- ocado cheeseburger. The meat is Angus beef and is never frozen the avocado was fresh and perfectly ripe and the burger was cooked to juicy perfection. And I ordered all of the following Chicken Hodgepodge - chicken broth with golden noodles matzo ball and kreplach Potato Knish - pastry wrapped around po- tato and spice Potato Pancakes - shredded potatoes with sides of sour cream and applesauce The Bob - sliced Nova Scotia Salmon on a toasted bagel with cream cheese onions ca- pers lettuce and tomato slices The broth in the chicken soup was so good I am 100 positive that its truly Jewish penicillin. The Hodgepodge allows you to try the noodles matzo ball and kreplach all in one bowl. I loved them all but the matzo ball was outstanding light and fluffy but dense enough to stay together and absorb some of the delicious broth. Potato pancakes have always been a favorite of mine and these lived up to my expectations. I had forgot- ten all about the potato knish until I saw it on the menu. It was delicious and brought back good memories of my years in the northeast. As for The Bob the house made bagel was deli- cious the salmon was buttery perfec- tion and the combination of all of the sides made me completely happy. If you have never tried Deli News then put it on your list Its a great place to go with your older children the kind of place you can enjoy with them and make into a family tradition. If you ever want to find me on a Sunday I will be at the table by the windowthat is if the regulars will share. Deli News is a great spot for families and friends. The ambiance is great and the food is delicious. - Olivia Kahny 14-year-old daughter of Food Entertainment Editor Bobbie Ames. goodLIVING WATTERS CREEK SETS THE STANDARD FOR ALL-INCLUSIVE RESORT-STYLE LIVING SHOPPING AND DINING Sustainable Beauty Escape to a luxurious serene setting with open spaces where you can shop dine al fresco enjoy beautiful works of art and attend exciting special events. Exotic vacation to a faraway destination Nope. This fun and fes- tive venue is only about 15 minutes away in Allen TX. Welcome to Watters Creek at Montgomery Farm a resort-style lifestyle shopping center situated in a soothing natural environment. Located on 52 acres accessi- ble from U.S. 75 and Bethany Road Watters Creek is home to a variety of retail shops from nationally branded stores to lo- cally owned boutiques. Restau- rants run the gamut from light casual to fine dining with water views and shoppers and diners can enjoy a large creek side village green lush landscapes a childrens play area and interactive public art. Plus luxury residential lofts and over 97000 square feet of Class AA unparalleled office space let you live and work where you shop. Watters Creek was developed with a green technique that takes advantage of the areas natural beauty and while the trees and grass at Watters Creek are decidedly green in color the rest of the sur- roundings shops and restaurants have also gone green. Conser- vation-focused designs and wide-open spaces make Watters Creek eco-friendly and earned it the distinction of being the first retail de- velopment in the State of Texas to be LEED Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design certified by the U.S. Green Building Council. In addition to on-site recycling pro- grams and recycled materials used for construction Watters Creek has imple- mented other sustainability programs. For instance erecting buildings and park- ing garages upward versus building out- ward makes optimal use of land resourc- es and saves space. Well water is used in Watters Creeks pond creek and irrigation and efficient plumbing fixtures save an estimated 1000 gallons of water per day. Ozone-friendly air conditioners are in use and refillable water bottles are available at the shopping cen- ters vending machine which can be filled with natural spring water at the Reuse-Refill-Refresh Station. Using increased wall and ceiling in- sulation and reflective rooftop ma- terial conserves energy and management estimates that in one years time enough energy will be saved to power 30 homes for the same time frame. Tree preservation is also quite evident. Of the 500 trees planted at Watters Creek more than two dozen mature trees were saved from other local projects. In addition the 150-year-old pecan tree near the pond is certified as a historical tree by the City of Allen. Watters Creek not only supports environmental sustainability it is also socially responsible. While parking is free in the retail centers three garages all net proceeds collected at metered street parking spots are donated to local charities through the Change for Charity program and used to host community events at Watters Creek. by Karyn Brodsky StaffWriter Watters Creek was designed to inspire yourimaginationandmakeeveryexcursion a celebration of food fashion and friends. - Debra Martinez Marketing Director With natural surroundings a beautiful backdrop a shopping and dining mecca and magnificent office and living spacesWatters Creek at Montgomery Farm offers something for everyone. 26 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 SURE YOUR CHILD COULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE IN-STATE BUT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO EASY WITH THE START OF THE SCHOOL YEAR APPROACHING ITS TIME TO MAKE PLANS. Driving vs. Flying Many parents drive their kids because you can stuff a lot in the old minivan but if your childs university is across the country that may not be realistic add up the cost of your time plus gas and hotel bills and decide for yourself. How to Get Belongings from Point A to Point B A couple of years ago my advice was sim- ple one parent flies with the kid and each person brings two fully loaded suitcases with the parent allowed a thimbleful of space. But that was back when all airlines allowed two checked bags for free. The landscape has changed - and so has my advice. Try to Fly an Airline with a Free Bag Allowance Airlines can and do change fees at any time without notice so always confirm before you fly. For the moment Southwest Air- lines still allows two checked bags for free. goodTO GO Getting the Kids to College by Rick Seaney Contributor Avoid Overweight Fees Most airlines charge an additional fee for bags weighing over 50 pounds a fee that often jumps again for bags over 70 pounds. The overweight fee is usually much more expensive than the checked bag fee and if the bag is too heavy you pay both. Dont forget to pack common sense too. If a flight with free bags costs 600 and the flight that charges bag fees is 200 - do the math. Shipping vs. Ground Transportation Contact your favorite shipper for the cheapest way to send boxes. The UPS web- site has a handy time cost calculator on its homepage plus they have luggage box- es you might want to try. Compare with other shippers too. What to Buy on Arrival in Your Schools City Arrive at school in time for a shopping trip to a local store to stock up on necessities. Some suggestions for the dorm or apart- ment dweller Bed linensPillowTowels Toiletries ComputerCopier supplies PensNotebooks wait - do kids still use that stuff Water bottlesSnacks Microwave andor Dorm fridge Desk lamp Fan School Yourself on What NOT to Bring to College If you fly dont bring items that take up a lot of space or weight. Weight equals mon- ey and with out-of-state tuition thats the last thing you want to waste. Carry the lap- top onboard and shop for supplies at your destination. Rick Seaney is co-founder of FareCompare an airfare search site devoted to helping shoppers find the cheapest flights possible. FareCompare also offers easy-to-use practical information to help travelers save on every step of their journey. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 27 goodTO GO Pack it Up WHAT TO FLY WITH Carry On use the same backpack as will be used for books at school Documents Drivers licensePhoto ID Passport Medical insurance cards plan ahead and order an extra copy Social Security Card needed for employment on or off campus MoneyCredit cards Emergency numbers for family and friends Gadgets Phone Laptop Cords cables and battery chargers Headphones PersonalItems GlassesContacts WatchJewelry WalletPurse Umbrella IN CHECKED LUGGAGE PersonalCareItems Skin care and make up Toothbrush toothpaste floss mouthwash Hair care items Medications Sunscreen Razors and shaving supplies Nail care PerfumeCologne Clothing Focus on what is needed right away or until the first break. Depending where the college is located some savvy packers switch wardrobes at fall breakThanksgiving break or winter break. UnderwearBrasSocks Bathrobe PJsSlippers Loungewear Activewear Clothing needed for classes gym class athletics dance class Gym bagDaypack Seasonal clothing Swimsuit JacketCoatRain gear Caps HatsBandanas AccessoriesCostume jewelry SneakersBoots Shower shoes A MUST ITEMS THAT CAN BE SHIPPED IN ADVANCE OR PURCHASED AT COLLEGE Stacking drawersBinsDrawer organizers Bulletin boardsMessage boards Extension cordsPower strips check dorm rules and guidelines Iron or steamer check dorm rules and guidelines Desk lamp check the bulb and wattage guidelines Speakers Electric kettle or coffee pot Printer and cable extra ink and paper Flash drive School supplies staplerstaplesholepunchpens pencilsmarkershighlighterspaper notebooks note cardspost-itnotesgluescissorspaperclipsbinderclips rubberbandstapepushpinsblankCDs Medicine kit thermometervitaminscoughdrops headachereliefcoldreliefstomachmedicationantacids allergymedicationsbandagesantibioticointmenteye drops icepackhotpacks Sewing kit with safety pins Duct tape Super glue Flashlight extra batteries Tool kit multi-tool glasses repair kit etc. Bedding Hangers spacesavingclosethangersclosetorganizers Drying rack Towels and washcloths Shower caddy Laundry hamper Alarm clock Fan Posters and wall dcor Utility hooks you need more than you think Trash can Cotton swabsCotton balls TissuesToilet paper Nail polish remover Hand sanitizer Antibacterial wipes Feminine hygiene products Ziplock bags Trash bags Cleaning supplies papertowelsallpurposecleaner wipesduster Laundry detergent Dryer sheets Snacks Drinks Thermos Reusable water bottle Coffee mugs Can opener Plastic utensils Paper plates Storage containers THINGS TO RESEARCH Dorm rules regarding dorm refrigerators and micro- waves. Some colleges have a list of rental companies that drop off and pick up. Dorms have a variety of safety restrictions. For exam- ple some allow twinkle lights and others do not. Some colleges have policies on the types and number of extension cords power strips desk lamps and other things that can be a fire hazard. TIPS Since I knew I would be spending three nights at a hotel near my childs college I called to ask if I could ship boxes to myself care of the hotel. I planned my shipment with UPS so the boxes were waiting when we arrived. Shop online and schedule delivery to the final desti- nation. Some stores like Bed Bath and Beyond have a Pick UpThereoption which allows you to shop and pay at your home store and then pick up your boxes at the store nearest your childs school. Some schools will allow you to ship to the dorm address in advance. Coordinate with your roommate if possible. For example one can bring the printer and one might bring theTV. byTriciaWhite Managing Editor THE GLF COMPREHENSIVE PRE-COLLEGE PACKING CHECK LIST Adventures of a First-Time Dorm Mother DORM DCOR AND ORGANIZATION by Cala Pence Contributor goodIDEAS First and foremost LESS IS MORE My daughter moved her clothes home after her first year at college and 40 of them were still bundled together from moving in 9 months earlier. That being said if you will be driving your child to college purchase the car clothes bar containerstore.com 19.99. Bundle clothes on hangers in groups of 5-7 items and rubber band the top of the hangers to- gether. Put a trash bag around each bundle and hang them on your new car clothes bar. Youll thank yourself a million times over PS Thin profile non-slip flocked-finish hangers are widely available and allow many more hangers to fit in a closet. Most dorms do not allow you to put ANY holes in the walls. So Command Strips poster putty and double-stick foam tape are your friends. You might consider purchasing these supplies BEFORE you leave home because youre not the only one who will be shopping for these necessities once you hit the college town. Dorm beds are usually twin extra-long. Since most kids move off campus after a year or so and will move to a bigger bed I would suggest purchasing a queen sized comforter and blanket. Lighting is notoriously bad in dorm rooms. Clip-on lamps desk lamps bedside lamps etc. are very useful. A standing coat rack takes up very little floor space and is very handy for hanging purses backpacks coats scarves umbrellas etc. Remember to think vertically. Dorm rooms are tight and floor space is at a premium. If the dorm room desk doesnt have shelving consider some table-top shelving for books printers photos etc. Space bags fit neatly under the bed and take up minimal space. Kids have friends come visit from other campuses other dorms or from just down the hall to spend the night so be sure your student has a sleeping bag. Living on a college campus means lots of walking many times in the rain. Be sure to send an umbrella and rain boots. Girls like this idea purchase an INEXPENSIVE full-length mir- ror they are very light weight and foam-tape it to the wall horizon- tally alongside the bed. They can sit on the bed and put on make-up do hair etc. Some schools allow students to move in a day early for a nominal fee worth every penny. Also dont forget that college town hotels book up really quickly so make your reservation NOW After having three children move into college dorms I have learned a few tips of the trade that may make life a little bit less stressful for all you fretting mamas and easier for those college freshman moving away from home for the first time. ADVERTISE. REACH. EXPAND. REPEAT. GOODLIFEFAMILYMAG.COM Want to reach parents with kids tweens to twenties JOIN OUR FAMILY CONTACT KIMBERLY BROWN ADVERTISING MANAGER KIMGOODLIFEFAMILYMAG.COM Mallory Pence from McKinney in her swanky dorm atTexas A M. Most dorms do not allow you to put ANY holes in the walls. So Command Strips poster putty and double-stick foam tape are your friends. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 29 Place-Making At a time when you really need a welcoming environment that feeds your creativity and offers a sanctuary from the stresses of big life changes the typical dorm room is a notoriously small drab utilitarian space that leaves little room for personal expression. Until now that is. Here are some organizational and design tips for transforming your space into a workable place. Paige and her roommate took advantage of a cork wall to create an inexpensive colorful backdrop using 12X 12sheets of scrapbook paper. Their room was votedBest Decorated. TIPS FROM PAIGES MOM RENA DAVIS If the college allows consider lofting the beds off the ground to create livable space underneath. Since she had more floor space we brought a small side table with drawers and a slim chest of drawers 4tall. She also brought a butterfly chair she could relax in more than just the desk chair supplied. Use shelf paper in all the drawers to create a clean surface for their belong- ings and an easy clean up when you move out. Paige thought we were crazy sending her with a wireless internet router and printer it was a big hit. She was the last stop most of her friends made on the way to class so they didnt have to go out of the dorm to print as- signments SMALL SPACES BIG IDEAS How to make an ordinary dorm room super functional ByTriciaWhite Managing Editor Living comfortably in a small space can be chal- lenging but its not completely hopeless. Creating a functional dorm room for your teen can be an es- sentialpartoftheirproductivityatcollege. Between classes studying and socializing the last thing we want our scholars concerned about is which pile of laundry their missing shoe is hiding under or where that mysterious smell is coming from. Here are a few tips and tools from organizing expert Rebecca Saumell to get your college bound student organized and equipped to stay focused on whats important. 1.Createmorespaceinadormroombysetting up bunk beds or using bed risers. Raising the bed will allow more storage underneath for clothes or linens. 2.Keeppaperspensandbooksoffofthefloor and in an Aussie Pouch. This nifty organizing tool fits conveniently over the back of a desk chair. 3. Its always best to organize vertically how- ever that can be tricky in a dorm where you cant put holes in walls. Some great solutions that wont ruin walls are an over-the-door pocket shoe organizer for more than just shoes and Command Hooks for bathrobes or jackets. 4. Closet space can be limited in a dorm espe- cially if youre sharing it with your roommate. Maximize your space with slim line hangers and a double hang closet rod. Having an organized space will not only give your teen an efficient living and working environment but will benefit their roommate too Help your students sharpen their organizational skills now and the benefits will last a lifetime. - Rebecca Saumell www.simplifyyournest.com Paige Davis Plano attending University ofWyoming. Transforming Your Dorm Room into Your Home Away From Home 30 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodIDEAS Turn Your Space Into Your Place How to make your dorm room reflect your personal style on any budget Here are some easy-to-manage tips from moms and students for transforming your space into a place that you can really settle in to. Katherines Tips To make my 84 square foot dorm room a home I used photos of family and friends and accent- ed with my favorite color sunshine yellow. Theres something about literally being surrounded by the people you love at least in photos and by great memories that makes the difficult moments in col- lege a lot more bearable. Its like being able to see your support group every day its a reminder that there are people out there that believe in you and that you should believe in yourself too. Katherine Ingram Richardson attending AMDA NewYork MOVE-IN TIPS FROM KATHERINES MOM KAREN Buy Command Hooks and more Command Hooks you can never have too many. Invest in a sturdy over the door coat rack quali- ty matters Pack rain gear for the long trek to classes. THINGS I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT Laptop Shower caddy Headphones My personal bright yellow Keurig My memory quilt from my mama My mug collection THINGS I WISH I HAD Meal plan Comfy mattress Noise canceling headphones Bigger desk Madisons Tips Communicate with your room- mate in advance to decide your color scheme and style. We picked out our bedding togeth- er and then shopped separately for our accessories. Madison on left with roommate Reilly Masterson in theirTCU dorm MOVE-IN TIPS FROM MADISONS MOM MELISSA Try to coordinate the timing of your move in with the roommate so you are not moving at the same time - there were a lot of us in a small space Take a rubber mallet to raise the bed and a tool kit to put together book shelves etc. Stop for a lunch break. We used several clear totes to move her and she kept them at school under her bed for extra storage. THINGS I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT Area rug to make the tiny room more cozy Desk mirrorMakeup mirror Air freshener plug-in or wax-melt warmer Door stop especially during the first weeks of school when the best way to get to know people is to have an open door policy THINGS I WISH I HAD Ear plugs Dorm walls are pretty thin Wall calendar to put on the inside of the door and write down upcoming tests quizzes and assignments as well as fun. More storage drawers I had tubs to store items but when I needed to find a particular item Id end up having to empty the whole tub to find it. Baskets were the same way. I had cute baskets to hold things in but when it came down to it I think I would have much more preferred func- tionality over cuteness. THINGS I COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT Amazon Prime Its free to college kids and you can get anything you need in two days time even in Ithaca Noise canceling headphones Reading lamp Mini-fridge Microwave Netflix or comparable service Mattress pad THINGS I WISH I HAD Bike Beach blanketLarge towel for quad lounging Portable speakers Colins Tips Its essential to put yourself into your dorm. You will not feel comfortable in a blank room with bare walls and dull furniture. You have the chance to let your personality shine in your room. And dont let your parent organize with- out you knowing where your stuff winds up ColinWhite Frisco attending Ithaca College NewYork MOVE-IN TIPS FROM COLINS MOM TRICIA Avoid the temptation to unpack for your kid. After we unloaded and got everything into the room I sent Colin out to have fun and meet new people. I was the super cool mom then but later he confessed he couldnt find a thing Bring drawer organizers to make the best use of the limited drawer space. Use closet space-saving huggable hangers and Wonder Magic clothes hangers Ipow.com. Create your own medicine cabinet and school supplies survival kit using a small desk-top stackable storage piece. What would happen if your income was gone tomorrow I t s n o t so m eth in g th at an y o f us w an t to th in k ab o ut b ut in suran c e is th e b est w ay to m ak e sure y o ur lo ved o n es are tak en c are o f af ter y o u re g o n e. J ust lik e a m ed ic al c h ec k - up y o u n eed an in suran c e check-up to re-examine your policies and see if they are still the best fit for you. Call to Schedule Your Complimentary 360 Review and Life Insurance Check-Up B ob b y D av id son B ob b y d av id soninsserv ices.com 9 72.9 80.4884 D A V I D S O N INSURANCE S E R V I C E S Insuring Your Life. Ensuring Your Familys Future. 32 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 When people think of individuals with disabilities they some- times focus on what they cant do. A college-bound student from Plano recognizes what her differently-abled friend can do and has remained a true friend for the past ten years. Lindsay Steudtner Plano West High School graduate and rising freshman at the University of Arkansas met Sydney Pizette in third grade. In fourth grade they had different teachers but that didnt interfere with their friendship. Every morning Sydney would wave and say hi to me before class says Steudtner. As the months passed the two got closer and at the end-of-the- year party in fifth grade their moth- ers met. Soon the two students had after-school plans. At that age I didnt un- derstand Sydneys disability ex- plains Steudtner but I wasnt a kid to judge. I think thats why she kept coming back to talk to me and be around me. In middle school Steudtner learned more about Sydney. She says she also learned a lot about herself. I understood more about Syd- neys disability at that age and I learned patience notes Steudtner. She recognized that special needs kids tend to act differently be- cause they dont always understand things completely. Adds Steudt- ner I knew I had to be patient to help her understand. The friendship blossomed in high school where Steudtner went to Sydneys dance recitals and family events accompanied her to the mall movies and restaurants and decorated her locker for her birthday. She volunteered as a Peer Assistant at school and specifi- cally asked to be assigned to Sydneys class. Outside of school Lind- say joined the local chapter of Best Buddies an organization that matches general education students with special education peers. The group organizes special events and requires a once-a-week touch base and a twice per month outing between buddies. When it comes to Sydney Steudtner has gone above and beyond the re- quirements. According to Samantha Moran Best Buddies Texas Program Manager this is when a true friendship has developed. Lindsay has made a special connection with Sydney. I know what Sydney would order at a restaurant I know her favorite mu- sic and I know that she tells everyone about me beams Steudtner. Whenever were together other people know who I am even if I dont know them. As for Sydney her feelings for Lindsay are clear I love Lindsay. Im going to miss her so much. I love how she picks me up and we have sleepovers. She takes me to Fat Straws and the Best Buddies for Life 17-YEAR-OLD LINDSAY STEUDTNER CAN TEACH US ALL A THING OR T WO ABOUT LOYALTY AND FRIENDSHIP by Karyn Brodsky StaffWriter Sydney and Lindsay began their friendship in elementary school. Sydney left with Lindsay at the PlanoWest Best Buddies Prom in May. Sydney says of Lindsay She is nice and pretty and shes my best buddy. goodKIDA W A R D T H E movies. She is nice and pretty and shes my best buddy. She is my friend. She makes me happy. Sydneys mom Karen Pizette says her daughter calls Lindsay her best friend and the whole family adores Lindsay. Shes been an incredible friend to Sydney. Weve been so blessed. She notes that many family memories include Steudtner including a photo taken of the girls together every 4th of July. Adds Pizette. Its hard for those with disabilities to make close friendships. It takes special people like Lindsay who speaks with her heart. She really has a gift. Soon Steudtner will be off to college with studies socializing and campus life on her mind. But shes committed to making Sydney a part of it. Plans are already made for the Pizette family to visit so Syd- ney can see Lindsays dorm room experience the college environ- ment and attend a football game. Sydneys mom admits Steudtners departure to college is bittersweet. Were so happy for her but were going to miss her. We know well always be in touch. As for Lindsay though she will major in Interior Design she plans to maintain her affiliation with Best Buddies. Sydney has become such a part of my life as well as all the special education students says Steudtner. They always smile and make my day brighter. I would love to work with them when Im in college. For her genuine commitment to helping those with disabilities as well as offering sincere friendship and loyalty Good Life Family awards Lindsay Steudtner our Good Kids Award and a 250 scholarship. Note Best Buddies is an international organization with chap- ters in all 50 states and more than 50 countries. Founded in 1989 by Anthony Kennedy Shriver who saw a need for true authentic friends for disabled individuals while a student at Georgetown University. His mother Eunice Kennedy Shriver founded the Spe- cial Olympics. By matching a general education student with a spe- cial education student Best Buddies creates an atmosphere where friendships can develop and grow. For more information see best- buddiestexas.org. TheGOODKIDAwardispresentedtoastudentaged12to21whodisplaysexemplary character courage and personal values and who without asking for attention for their efforts causes others to take notice. For their genuine commitment to helping a per- sonorganizationandortheircommunitythewinneroftheGoodKidAwardreceivesa Certificate of Achievement and a 250 scholarship. To nominate a student for this prestigious award go to www.goodlifefamilymag.com or emailTriciaWhite Managing Editor atTricaGoodLifeFamilyMag.com. SCHEDULE A Discover POP Tour SEE OUR AGES 6 WEEKS THROUGH GRADE 12 27 ACRES OF CAMPUS IPAD CAMPUS CURRICULUM FOCUS LITERACY MATH SCIENCEAND TECHNOLOGY STEM EXCEEDS NATIONAL AND STATE TEST SCORE AVERAGES AT ALL LEVELS 500-SEAT FINE ARTS CENTER EAGLE STADIUM SPORTS COMPLEX 12 ACRES OF SPORTS FIELDS PRINCE OF PEACE CHRISTIAN SCHOOL EARLY LEARNING CENTER WWW.POPCS.ORG 972-447-0532 NEARTHE NORTH DALLASTOLLWAY PLANO PARKWAY Its hard for those with disabilities to make close friendships. It takes special people like Lindsay who speaks with her heart. She really has a gift. - Karen Pizette Sydneys mom goodKIDA W A R D T H E 34 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodKIDS OH THE PLACES HELL GO... Austin Fuller is a man with a plan. Well that is a young man with a plan. The seventeen-year-old is the owner of Austins Detail of Texas a car and detailing service here in North Texas. Austin has always had a passion for cars and about two years ago began helping out at local detailing place. He learned some great cleaning and detailing skills. He then started washing cars for his neighbors and friends and decided to start his own business. Austin offers ser- vices from a main- tenance cleaning and detail to a showroom qual- ity detail. Jessica Kile a Frisco resi- dent says Austin does a great job on my car. He is very meticulous and takes pride in his work. The Hebron High School rising senior says he would advise upcoming young entrepreneurs to share ideas with friends family and fellow entrepreneurs to choose the best way to start and expand your busi- ness. Austin relies heavily on Facebook Twitter and his website to get people to notice his business. Austin plans on continu- ing to expand his business and someday would like to own detail shops around the country providing his customers with top quality employees and fabulous customer service. Austin lives in Plano with his parents and younger brother. When he is not working on cars he is playing varsity golf for school or working on expanding his watch collection. austinsdetailoftx.com by Melissa Chaiken Section Editor vices from a main tenance cleaning YOUNG CEOS CHILD EXECUTIVE OFFICERS When you hear the word entrepreneur what comes to mind It could be any number of thingsbut its not likely to be a kid. Watch out world Here are some amazing kids with bright ideas an incredible work ethic and the juice to make big things happen. If you know an child entrepreneur email us at TriciaGoodLifeFamilyMAG.com. THIS KIDS GOT GAME by Madison Cook StaffWriter Its late at night and Jacob Cordeiro can be found in his room intently focused on defeating yet another mission in his Minecraft Survival Mode. Stereotypi- cal video game addicted teenage boy you say Well not exactlyCordeiro Plano 18-year-old author of Minecraft for Dummies Portable Game Star Me- chanic for Dummies and Redstone for Dummies is just completing yet another nights work. Jacobs interest in computer games began at an early age but he did not write his first book until his freshman year in high school. Wiley Publications in need of a young author pursued Jacob after he spoke on a panel at the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards about a game he designed using the website Game Star Mechanic. Influenced by one of his mothers friends also a Dummies author Jacob decided to accept the writing opportunity and nine months later Minecraft for Dummies Portable Edition was published. Since then Jacob has also successfully authored two similar titles. The path to publication was not easy for the inexperienced teen- ager who was already burdened with a rigorous academic course load as a student of Stanford Online High School. Taking all of his classes and tests from his computer at home Jacob had a flexible schedule that allowed him to pursue his interests in computer science while also ful- filling his writing commitment to Wiley. Jacob admits it was definitely hard to strike a balance but kept a goal to write everyday no matter what was going on in high school. This perseverance paid off as Jacob juggled tight deadlines and long nights to produce a perfectly organized 160 page final product. While he does not have plans to continue his writing career Jacob plans to pursue a joint major in math and com- puter science at Harvey Mudd College in Claremont California in the fall. He hopes to eventually design his own video game specifi- cally one with an educational aspect to use in schools. Jacob lives in Plano with his parents his 15-year-old brother Adam and two hairless cats. When he is not busy writing Jacob en- joys game design video games and CrossFit training. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 35 Are you a hovering helicopter parent who micro- manages their offsprings activities or are you a hands-off enabler who allows their tween or teen to self-direct Or do you reside somewhere in between Parenting styles can differ greatly and so can boundaries. Were digging deep in this feature story to find out just how far parents will go to influence their children. by Karyn Brodsky StaffWriter Wrapped Too Tight 36 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE DRIVEN TO PROTECT THEM BEHIND THE WHEEL Your teen gets a drivers license and spoiler alert life as you know it has changed forever and you thought having kids was the biggest life-changer youd experience. From now on youll pace nervously until the text confirmation of her arrival while parked of course. And youll never fall asleep until you hear the garage door open to signify her safe return. But how can you know for sure your young driver is making the right choices and staying safe Technology is now your best friend. Auto insurance providers offer devices to monitor and report the cars rate of speed when your teen drives. Some automobile ignitions will deactivate if the driver has alcohol on his breath and smart phones make tracking available. Dallas dad Jay Bell depends on tracking APPs to find his childor at least his mobile phone. Bell whose son will get his license this summer feels more secure about letting him drive if he can monitor his whereabouts. I know if my son forgets to text me when he arrives at his destination I can track his phone to see if hes where hes supposed to be. Alicia Wanek of Plano agrees and is planning ahead. My teens are not driving yet but my husband has already looked into tracking devices and to see if there are ways to disable texting while the car is moving. A Dallas mom who chooses to remain anonymous says it depends on maturity. I would not put a tracking device on them says the mom of two teens. They know they have to keep in touch. Theyre good kids who talk to us a lot and Ive nev- er had to worry about them. My husband and I laid a lot of groundwork in the early years and never felt the need to snoop. Jane Ito of Richardson uses a low-tech approach plus a track- ing APP that seems to be working. She drafted a 13-point con- tract for her 16-year-old son to sign that outlines rules by which he must abide or he will lose his driving privilege. Its useful to put things in writing because my son like other teens doesnt always listen to words. Ito reminds her son that his life the lives of his passengers and the lives of other drivers on the road are at stake. Bell plans to craft a driving contract for his son as well. It tells him what I expect in clear terms and if he doesnt adhere to the rules he has to face the consequences. Bell will also tie school performance to driving. If he doesnt put in the effort and get the grades expected of him during a grading period then his car will sit in the driveway and not be driven by him until the next set of grades come out. Whatever your choice remember the State of Texas has strict laws for teen drivers and at mini- mum your child must follow them. Teens are required to get 30 hours of behind-the-wheel driver training practice to become eligible to graduate from a driving permit to a provisional drivers license. All teen drivers must adhere to Graduated Driver License GDL restrictions until age 18 ww1. texas.aaa.comen-txdriving-resourc- estrip-planning-mapsPagesnew- driver-laws.aspx including for the first 12 months a provisional license holder under the age of 18 may not drive with more than 1 person under the age of 21 that is not an immedi- ate family member teen drivers may not drive between the hours of mid- night and 500 AM except for medical emergencies purposes of employment or a school sanctioned activity after 6 months both the passenger and time restrictions are waived. drivinglaws. orgteentexteen.php GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 37 goodGUIDE THEDATING GAME WHATS ACCEPTABLE WHATS NOT Your 14-year-old son announces he has a girlfriend. Your 15-year-old daughter says the cute boy in English class asked her for a date. So what do you say Current dating practices are very different than when we grew up and certainly a far cry from those of earlier generations. In the 1950s one well-known premise of dating eti- quette for girls was to properly intro- duce your date to your parents. Dat- ing etiquette for boys warned not to kiss on the first date. rd.comadvice relationshipsshould-we-bring-back- 1950s-dating-rules. If only it were that simple today First how young is too young Jay Leshefsky of Plano says his 13-year- old daughter hasnt started dating yet. That would seem to be too young. And where should teens be allowed to spend time together When my daughter does date they can hang out in the house Leshefsky adds. Not in the bedroom and not in a room with the doors closed. Aubrey dad Shawn Saumell notes Our teens are not al- lowed to date yet. We have an open dialog about dating and discuss what the goal or point in dating is. He adds that he and his wife prefer the teens stay in common areas as much as possible. Many of todays teenagers go out in groups as opposed to one- on-one dating and this brings some degree of comfort to par- ents. Plano mom Julie Sacks admits Dating is new to us. My older daughter has her first boyfriend right now so we are mak- ing the rules up as we go along. She adds that her daughter and her boyfriend participate in many group get-togethers or spend time at her home. I do prefer the kids to be here says Sacks. I feel if they are here I have a better idea of what is going on. Dallas dad and family lawyer Jeff Anderson says he expects his 14-year-old son and his girlfriend to remain downstairs on the main floor when she is over. I talk regularly to his girlfriends guardian about our rules and Ive had very direct talks with my son about what is expected of him. Being accountable while visiting other teens is important too. When Plano mom Lisa Kivetts teenage son goes out we have always required that we know at whose house he is and whether there were parents at home. Our teens are not allowed to date yet. We have an open dialog about dating and discuss what the goal or point in dating is. - Shawn Saumell 38 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE DO YOU TROLL TEXTS AND STALK SOCIAL MEDIA This is a controversial issue that pits protection against snoop- ing. There are those like Plano Sergeant Courtney Pero who think that when it comes to kids and their safety privacy should be a minor consideration. Pero advises parents to monitor teens electronics use and keep electronics out of the bedroom. Par- ents should be privy to all access codes and passwords. Kivett agrees and reserves the right to look at her teens phones and to know their current passwords or they will lose their device privileges. She explains her approach is not to be a helicopter mom but to be one who provides copious amounts of information about dangers and limitations. As part of warn- ing her teen of the pitfalls of social media Kivett told him that nothing is ever truly deleted and that texts emails or social me- dia posts could be shared or end up in the wrong hands. Worse yet it could hurt someone. Kivett told her son to use this rule of thumb If you dont want Grandma to see it dont post it. Principal William McLaughlin of Shepton High School in Pla- no warns of the dangers of social media and refers to a quote by Devin Padavil first vice president of the Texas Association of Secondary School Principals as reported in the Dallas Morning News. McLaughlin says Padavil called social media the larg- est unsupervised playground in the world dallasnews.com newsmetro20150426-bullying-proves-a-vexing-problem-for- schools.ececommentsDiv. McLaughlin agrees with Padavil. With social media youre giving your kids keys to the world and the world keys to their life. As he does in his own home McLaughlin suggests parents require accountability with the right to check social media and texts at any time. The bottom line he says is that the phone is owned and the bills are paid by the parents. He recommends teaching digital citizenship to kids so they can create a positive digital profile for colleges and employers. Use this as a teachable moment. Theres a happy me- dium between stalking your kid and giving your kid unfettered access to social media. There are some parents who fight fire with fire by using tech- nology to monitor technology. Device monitoring APPs such as Qustodio alert parents to inappropriate posts and filters adult content. Anderson has checked his kids texts before but doesnt do so now and hopes that openness and honesty prevail. There are so many different text programs its impossible to check them if a child wants them hidden. Anderson is friends with his children on Facebook and he talks with them openly about social media and its dangers. At the other end of the spectrum Dallas anesthesiologist Dr. Katie Blakeley checks texts and emails only occasionally because she doesnt want to erode trust. She admires her brothers open policy about reading ALL texts and emails of his teens. It just seems a lot more honest and up front Blakeley says. Theres a happy medium between stalking your kid and giving your kid unfettered access to social media. - William McLaughlin Principal Shepton High School goodGUIDE HELPER OR HANDLER THE QUEST FOR ANA When it comes to tweens and teens excelling in class there are three basic schools of thought help your children get an A no matter what it takes even if it means giving them the answer admit it weve all done that at least once provide guidance and an- swer questions but never actually do the work for them in a perfect world let them sink or swim often times the result of parental frustration to learn a hard lesson. None of these tech- niques is foolproof and many parents employ a little bit of each. Sumitra Reddy of Plano favors the first camp and says when it comes to doing too much to help your kids excel in school My personal opin- ion is there is NO such thing as too much. Pushing them is okay and the banning of smart phones and the PS4 make it easy to reprimand. Kivetts philosophy falls within the boundaries of the second camp yet she worries that she has probably been far more the secretary and task master than shed like to be. When her kids were younger she monitored grades on line checked homework and made sure her kids marked their agen- das. I pushed them where they wouldnt push themselves and then wed discuss af- terwards how good the effort was to be able to have learned enough and earned an A grade. Once her eldest was in high school the effort was up to him with participation on sports teams and part time jobs dependent on achieving good grades. His success has had to be his own explains Kivett It would have been easier to do it for him but he wouldnt have learned important life lessons that should now help him in college. Saumell agrees. I dont do any of my teens work but I do monitor grades and hold them accountable and responsible for their own work. He stays in communication with teachers to ensure that his kids are being responsible and will tutor the kids at home. He wont provide them with answers but will offer tools and resources to help them help themselves. In the third camp Blakeley says she has never done home- work or projects for any of her four kids who are now all in high school or older. Other than working with her teens as a team to reword writing assignments she says My mantra is I already went to __ grade. I do not need to do it again. Blakeley feels strongly that her kids need to do the hard work and they will not learn if she does it for them. She believes they need to learn to fail too and would rather have them fail while under her roof than later in college. Blakeley adds I do not want to promote lying or cheating. I consider turning in homework that someone else did to be both lying and cheating. - Lisa Kivett It would have been easier to do it for him but he wouldnt have learned the important lessons that should now help him in college. 40 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodGUIDE COLLEGE COACH OR APPLICATION COMMANDER Ann Landers once said It is not what you do for your chil- dren but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. McLaughlin agrees. I think in a society of being helicopter parents weve deprived our kids in learning life lessons. The kids would have been better served learning on their own he says. Dallas mom Julie Shrell took this approach when her twin daughters who recently graduated from college were going through the application process. She provided instructions about deadlines met with their counselors and was there if they needed help or a gentle reminder. I didnt have to worry about them notes Shrell. They really wanted to go to college and they were self-starters. Shrell warns though that the amount of assistance or prodding depends on the individual child. Kivett and her husband sat down with her son in his freshman year of high school and read about application requirements to prepare him. He knew specifically what it would take to get into different colleges he learned the costs he learned what hed need for scholarships and he learned his options in high school to get there. Shrell isnt opposed to letting her younger son take a gap year before college and would have been open to it for the twins though they didnt ask for one. Once at school Shrell says her girls knew what she and her husband expected of them to be on the college payroll. They knew if they didnt make the grade or take a full load they were coming home. Shrell emphasizes that she wanted to make her teens accountable. It is important for me that my kids be a part of it Shrell explains. Its their college. I already went. Varun Tewari CEO Founder of Victory Step Test Prep an educational company with locations in Dallas and Plano pre- pares teens for the ACT and SAT tests. He feels that parents need to find a balance between being demanding and overbear- ing versus being too distant. The college selection process is a complex one and parents are usually in the best position to guide their kids. Tewari adds that parents should be there for the administrative moral and financial support needed during this sometimes frustrating period. He says its also important that parents dont get too involved in the selection and applica- tion process. In the end its the child going to college and he she should feel that they have played an important role in the process. In the end its the child going to collegeandheshe should feel that they have played an important role in the process. - Varun Tewari Victory Step College Prep GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 41 goodGUIDE WHATS THE DOPE ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL Here again the jury is out on what is the best way to monitor your tweens and teens for drug and alcohol usage. Some in the law enforcement community feel strongly that ALL kids should be drug tested. Plano police of- ficer Courtney Pero says definitely do it. The Collin County Substance Abuse Coalition CCSAC in which Peros department is a member recom- mends that parents keep a drug test on your counter at all times and ran- domly drug test the kids. Pero adds Someday when a kid is approached with drugs hell say I cant because my parents drug test me. Many parents agree but only when there is an indication drug testing is necessary. Blakeley does not drug test her kids but is in favor of it if there is suspicion of abuse. I truly think the best thing you can do for kids with regard to alcohol and drugs is to set a good example. Cecily Craw Senior Director of Out- patient Services at the nationally-rec- ognized Caron Treatment Centers which has a center in Dallas disagrees with Peros hardline approach. A drug test should be kept in the house ONLY if the parent has a suspicion that their child is en- gaging in drug use be- haviors. In these cases it would be a good idea to keep a drug test at home and let the child be aware that it is pres- ent and can be used at any time. She acknowledges that the test can be used as leverage or as a deterrent but advises We highly recommend that if a parent has a concern that a drug test only be used in conjunction with a professional evaluation and refer- ral to services as appropriate. Kivett admits that she and her husband do not drug test her teen nor lock up liquor but he knows their position on drugs and drinking. If he did drink I have always said that Id rather get a call from him needing a ride home rather than a call from a police officer telling me he is injured or worse. Kivett has also warned her son about the dangers of drinking from an open can or punchbowl at a party citing too many opportunities for drugs to be put in open containers. Bell hasnt had to resort to locking up liquor but thinks drug testing or at the least the presence of a drug test in the house is a good idea. I want to know what my kids are doing and I want to do what I can to keep them out of trouble. - Lisa Kivett If he did drink I have always said that Id rather get a call from him needing a ride home rather than a call from a police officer telling me he is injured or worse. WHAT DO YOU DO Some experts and local parents have weighed in on their thoughts about what they think are appropriate boundaries with tweens and teens. Now its your turn Take our survey at goodlifefamilymag.comsurvey and let us know what you think. 42 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Healthy Boundaries by Dr. Sandy Gluckman Contributor GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 43 Boundaries a word that is like a red rag to a bull for parents as well as kids. By definition a boundary in the parent-child relationship marks the point between ac- ceptable and unacceptable behavior. When we say Thats it You just crossed the line we mean that the childs behav- ior has become unacceptable according to our expectations. Setting boundaries is a fundamentally important skill for raising children. Yet it is one of the parenting skills that so many moms and dads struggle with. There are numerous significant benefits to having healthy boundaries two of which are 1. With clearly communicated and agreed boundaries there should be less stress and conflict because there is lit- tle to argue about. Teens will test the boundaries but that is part of being a teenager and staying firm is part of your role as a parent. 2. When you establish boundaries not only do you value yourself and what is important to you but youre also teach- ing your children to value themselves. As your kids watch you calmly and successfully establish your personal bound- aries they learn that it is okay for them to do this for them- selves in their own lives. This is a powerful skill for them to take into life with them one that will set them up for success. I CAN BE GOOD TO BOTH YOU AND ME THROUGH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES Healthy boundaries create relationships in which parents can be good to their kids as well as to themselves. Problems arise when parents have a false belief that having boundaries is unkind unloving or selfish. In fact it is the very opposite. Establishing healthy boundaries is the best way of showing love and respect. Only by maintaining healthy boundaries can you demonstrate real love for yourself and for others. ARE YOU ONE OF THESE PARENTS Over the many years of working with families I have seen that there are two kinds of parents who find it difficult to create boundaries and to stand firm by them once finally es- tablished. Are you one of these ENABLERS. These are parents who want to make sure their children have everything they didnt have and who want to protect their kids from every problem and emotion. This creates a sense of over-entitlement and sometimes lack of self-confidence or inflated self-esteem in the children. PLEASERS. Some parents focus so much on pleasing their kids that they dont focus on taking care of themselves. They demonstrate self-denial and relentless caretaking some- times to the point where they virtually invite their kids to take advantage of them while often tolerating disrespectful treatment. TELLTALE SIGNS THAT YOU NEED BETTER BOUND- ARIES. EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT WANT TO YOU FIND YOURSELF Constantly telling your children what they are doing wrong Warning your kids about what will happen if they Preaching about what they should and shouldnt do Feeling youre not getting the respect you deserve Criticizing DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PARENT WHO ESTAB- LISHES HEALTHY BOUNDARIES Heres how. 1. If you struggle with boundaries know why. Are you an enabler A pleaser Did you see your parents do this and are you now doing the same to your kids 2. Be sure that your boundaries are healthy. Healthy boundaries are not boundaries designed to make parents lives easier. They are established to teach good habits that will guide children for the rest of their lives. 3. Boundaries need to be clear specific and clearly communicated. You need to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it before doing so. 4. Establish only those boundaries you are prepared to enforce. Focus only on a few issues that will have lasting value to your children - not rules for blind obedience. 5.To work boundaries have to be consistent and both parents have to be on the same page. 6. Use the KISS Principle. Choose a few simple rules ap- propriate to your situation with your child too many rules become frustrating and cumbersome to implement. 7. Successful enforcement of boundaries is based on FEW WORDS. What annoys parents the most is their chil- drens excuses arguments and complaints. It is then too easy to become involved in counter-arguments and counter-log- ic to start cajoling explaining rescuing or threatening. Now the game is on. The more you talk the more you are likely to get words back and all that you are doing is actually rein- forcing the very negotiating and whining behavior you dont want. When you remember that you are offering your child a gift for life by setting healthy boundaries it becomes so easy to do. goodTO KNOW DOES NO MEAN GO LEARN HOW TO ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES KIDS CAN LIVE WITH Editors Note For more information about Dr. Gluckman and her Parents Take Charge workshops go to www.parentstakecharge.com. ACTORS MODELS CORPORATE SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING JAMES BLAND James Bland is an award-winning photographer who captures the expression personality and mood of his subjects and makes it seem effortless. 13331 Preston Road Suite 1020 Dallas 75240 DallasPhotoStudio.com 100 OFF HEAD SHOT SPECIAL 150 includes retouching your Head Shot portrait Call David Marett to book your in-studio session at 972-275-9268 M o n i c a O fc h a r i k 214-546-0246 Cakesalamoatt.net www.cakesalamo.com www.facebook.comCakesALaMO Oh the good ole teenage years. Six of the most stressful and emo- tional yet incredibly AWESOME years of our lives when we are finally discovering who we really are our interests passions true friends the things that mean the most to us. It is during this time that we move away from the sheltered years of our childhood to the beginning of our long adulthood. And no you didnt read that wrong. ADULThood. Adult as in Well thats where it gets kind of complicated. You see teenagers crave freedom. Something about living spontaneous free-willed lives is ri- diculously enticing to the young mind. We feel as if we are ready to take on the real world and be considered adults boldly taking down any and every obstacle in our way. That is until we get pulled over for driving after curfew with five friends crammed in the back seat. We are then thrust back into reality where we are still just immature inexperienced kids. Teens are well needy. We are hard to figure out and sometimes we cant even figure out ourselves. What exactly is it that we need from our parents during this emotional time We need our parents to un- derstand us In order to really connect with teens parents have to be willing to really listen taking the time to understand what is actually on their childs mind before jumping to conclusions. Par- ents need to find the perfect balance in establishing this relationship while being ok with the fact that all teens are naturally going to try to break away. Recently I have learned that as much as I may try to break away from my parents it is during these years that I need parental influence more than ever. Often times teens like me get too caught up in the present to realize the consequences our actions will have in the future. Needless to say I dont always think my choices through as thoroughly as I probably should. Thats what makes me and oth- er teens who we are and teaches us the most important life lessons going forward. Kids with overprotective parents who are shielded from the real world risk losing out on these crucial opportunities for growth. I am not afraid of failure as my teenage years have allowed me to recognize that I have to mess up in order to truly learn from my mistakes. The reality remains teenagers are going to get in trouble we are curious about the many wonders of the world around us and par- ents will never be able to completely tame our rebellious side. But parents underestimate the impact they can have on their teenagers when it comes to controlling this adventurous side especially when The Teen Years The Time of Our Lives goodTO KNOW by Madison Cook StaffWriter s i m pl i f y y u r n e s t Contact us today for your FREE consultation simplifyyournest.com Lets create sensible solutions for your sanity this summer they offer genuine advice and constructive criticism. I have wit- nessed firsthand some pre-homecoming outfit disasters between my closest friends and their parents and my opinion remains the same. Teens respond much better to You know Sarah that dress is cute but maybe a little too showy than You look trashy Take that off now Friendly reminders are much more effective than all-out demands because they make us feel like we are still in control. This harmonious balance is going to look different for every family but I am happy to say I think my family has finally nailed it I think parents are there for their children to lead them in the right direction and raise them to be able to live on their own. However I think parents become too involved when they start telling their children exactly what to do in their life. On the other hand if parents arent making sure that their children are on the right path then they need to be more involved. Jake Hershman rising junior Greenhill School Parents should be there to help you with major decisions in your life but they must also respect teenagers need for privacy. The perfect balance is telling them something is going on in your life and them giving you the chance to figure it out on your own and only interfering if its necessary or you want their help. Chandler Weiss rising junior Plano West Senior High School Editors Note Madison is a rising junior at Greenhill School and a regular contributor to Good Life Family. What do you think is the perfectbalance goodTO KNOW 46 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Angela is SO lucky her girlfriends exclaim. The quiet shy sophomore has scored the boyfriend of the century. C.J. is a senior and the hottest guy in school. As her friends banter about why they dont all have boyfriends Angela and C.J. spend more time together sometimes seeming to blend into one person. When her friends complain that CJ keeps her from spending time with them Angela accuses them of being jealous. Eventually CJs controlling nature and explosive anger turn to violence. By then Angela has become isolated from the very people who could help her the most. Those of you who have seen Dont U Luv Me by local play- wright Linda Daugherty will recognize this all too common sce- nario in teen and unfortunately adult relationships. Males and females are affected though women are more commonly victims of physical violence. Controlling and abusive relationships hap- pen across all ethnic and socioeconomic groups. Recognizing them is the first stop toward ending a potentially tragic cycle. What healthy relationships look like People in healthy relationships know who they are or at least know who they are not. They have a sense of their own goals and are motivated to protect their own needs. They care strongly for their partners but expect to be treated well themselves. In a good relationship each person feels more confident about who he or she already is. Healthy partners celebrate the best in each other and do not try to make the other change for their own purposes. A good relationship makes it easier to be more of who you are not less or different. Healthy relationship partners encourage one another to pursue their individual talents and dreams. Teens in healthy relationships should find their grades go up not down. They learn to incorporate their new love interest into their lives finding ways to balance the desire for personal intimacy with the need to stay connected to the people and activities they care about. Healthy partners help each other handle hard stuff. Being happy is easy especially in the early phases of romance. What matters is how two people get through whats hard both within their relationship and when facing external stressors. They work together to handle conflicts through mutual problem-solving and compromise rather than trying to win the fight. What an unhealthy relationship looks like Unhealthy relationships start out great The beginning of a controlling relationship is full of flattery and passion. Heshe wants to be with you all the time and thinks youre the most awe- some person theyve ever met saying things like No one under- stands me like you do Jealousy over time spent with your friends and your family is sweet at first but becomes suffocating and even- tually hostile. Over time unhealthy partners become critical condescend- ing and controlling. They want to know where you are what youre doing and whom youre with at all times. You should wear this not that. You should be with me instead with the people or doing the things you care about. You should stop pursu- ing your dreams because youll never make it anyway. Even- tually come the direct insults and name calling. The abuser checks your texts and phone records. Heshe threatens to do something to harm you or your reputation e.g. send inappropriate pho- tos spread rumors etc. if you dont comply with their wishes. Victims begin to be- lieve it is their own fault. The abusive partner makes you feel ashamed or unworthy of anything better. You begin to be- lieve it when you are told Its your fault that I got upset or wrecked my car or failed my test You justify the behavior to others saying He was having a bad day or Well I made her mad because I forgot to run that errand. Commonly abusers threaten to kill themselves if you leave them. You begin to feel compelled to tiptoe around situations trying not to trigger any more outrage or violence. Eventually the victim becomes isolated from the very people they need to help them. After a while friends and even fami- ly stop trying to change your mind about your partner. They get used to you backing out of plans at the last minute. They give up hoping you will call them back. By the time you realize you need help it can be hard to find. Weeks months or even years laterRelationships can be- come physically or sexually abusive. Beware of suspicious of black eyes reports of accidentally tripping down stairs etc. What Parents Can Do Teach your children to demand what they deserve. Teens have the right to feel honored in their relationships to have their own space to keep their friends to include their family and to feel good about who they are. Teach them that relationships involve compromise but a good relationship should help a person feel more secure and confident without feeling the need to alter his or her identity. Teach communication and limit setting. Help your child to set and reinforce self-protective boundaries. Be willing to let them blame you for curfews technology limits time with family etc. Remember that no one asks to be abused. Unhealthy rela- tionships evolve over time. Abusers tend to be charismatic and Teen Relationships - Healthy or Not goodTO KNOW by Dr. Susan Sugerman Contributor Controlling and abusive relationships happen across all ethnic and socioeconomic groups. Recognizing them is the first stop toward ending a potentially tragic cycle. - Dr. Susan Sugerman GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 47 goodTO KNOW charming. What starts out as a strong connection full of flattery and admiration can turn jealous and controlling before the victim realizes it is happening. Even healthy people can end up in un- healthy situations. Be patient and understanding. Leaving is hard. The relation- ship is probably not all bad. Often still drawn to the good that does exist in the relationship the victim defends the abuser from accusa- tions of friends and family. They dont want the relationship to end they just want the abuse to stop. Help your child honor the good memories while being clear that the bad parts of the relationship are dangerous and not likely to change. It will take your repeated loving but firm insistence that you understand how hard it is but that you will not continue to allow them to be in a controlling or dangerous situation. Try not to get too frustrated too fast when your child hangs on to a potentially bad relationship. Take time to process the situa- tion in your own mind and come up with a measured reasonable approach. Try not to judge your child too quickly for not fixing it. Remember if your child had the insight and skill to end the re- lationship it would have been over by now. Be willing to be the bad guy. When your child truly is ready to separate from a dangerous situation they will need your help in very significant ways. Their abuser knows which buttons to push or threats to make to weaken defenses and lure them back. Let your child blame you for cutting the off from their abusive partner. Set firm curfews deny access to the car and make it known publicly especially to the abuser that you are monitoring their social me- dia postings. Use Parental Controls through your phone carrier to help restrict calls and texts to and from certain numbers though beware of texting apps that can get around this. Change the abus- ers contact information in your childs phone to read DO NOT ANSWER so that shehe is not tempted the next time a call comes through. Help your child to find alternative activities to stay busy and accountable to other responsible peers and adults. If necessary get the police or the school involved. Sometimes involving the abusers own parents is appropriate if it can be done sensitively. In an ideal world those parents can help their child get counseling support in order to change behaviors in the future. Keep some perspective--things that are hard are not without value. Developing healthy relationship skills takes time and expe- rience. Help your child learn from his or her mistakes. They will learn what NOT to tolerate in the future. 48 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Learning Curve Ahead HELPING YOUR COLLEGE-BOUND TEEN MAINTAIN GOOD MENTAL HEALTH by DianaWeaver Contributor Sending your teen off to college is an exciting and nerve-wrack- ing time for parents. We equip our young people with new laptops supplies for a comfortable dorm room snacks to help them survive erratic hours and much more. Yet one aspect we often overlook in preparing for college is teaching our kids how to maintain good mental health. Accord- ing to a national survey the emotional health of incoming fresh- man is at an all-time low and students report feeling increasingly overwhelmed before they enter college. I remember well when I was a college sophomore and had re- cently gone through a traumatic breakup with my longtime boy- friend. Thats when I experienced my first bout of true depression. No one had ever discussed this with me and I was too ashamed to reach out for help. Fortunately good friends finally led me to the counseling center. As a single mom of three sons I have experienced this with each of my boys as they navigated their college years. For differ- ent reasons each one of them hit a bump in the road during their college tenure and having the benefit of my own experience I was able to direct them to the help they needed to get over that hump. While everybody has the blues feels anxious or gets stressed sometimes it is important to realize that when it continues for a long time or interferes with daily activities it may be more se- rious. Depression is very different from the occasional blues and can be debilitating and lead to suicidal thinking. Seven percent of college students say they have seriously considered suicide in the past year and suicide is now the second leading cause of death among college-age young people. Depression can run in families and it most commonly starts between the ages of 15 and 24. Depression has physical and emotional symptoms that cannot be wished away. People with depression cant just pull themselves together. The good news is that depression can be treated and people can recover. goodTO KNOW HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR COLLEGE-BOUND TEENS TO HELP THEM TAKE BETTER CARE OF THEIR MENTAL HEALTH DEVELOP A SUPPORT NETWORK. Joining campus and extracurricular activities such as playing in a college band joining an intramural sports team or writing for the school newspaper are great ways to meet new friends. Developing positive connections with others is an important factor in good mental health. BALANCE YOUR TIME. If you have concerns over your study habits ability to take tests or managing your course- work talk with teachers counselors family or friends for advice and support. Most colleges and universities have resources to help students stay on top of coursework and help improve study habits. There is also often free tutoring available for those who need additional help. STAY ACTIVE. Regular physical activity improves your mood helps relieve depression and increases feelings of well-being. Make use of the fitness facility on campus or en- roll in classes that provide you with physical activity. WATCH WHAT YOU EAT. The busy life of a college student can lead to erratic eating habits and this can affect mood. Be sure to eat regular well balanced meals and stay away from sugary carbonated beverages energy drinks and pro- cessed snacks that can affect blood sugar and mood. GET YOUR ZZZS. Fatigue and sleep deprivation can lead to depression. Avoid stimulants like caffeine and nicotine which can disrupt your sleep patterns. Try to stick to a regu- lar sleep schedule and avoid pulling an all-nighter to study. GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT. Visit the health or counseling center and discuss concerns you may have with a health professional. Most college campuses have mental health counseling available for stu- dents. If treatment is advised follow instructions. Watch out for side effects and at- tend follow-up appoint- ments to assess improve- ment. If you dont feel better in four to six weeks notify the health professional. TAKE YOUR MEDICATION. If your college-bound student takes medication to treat a men- tal health condition make sure to discuss the importance of taking medication regularly and following up with his mental health professional on a regular basis. Managing any med- ical condition is an important part of a young persons development toward independence and learning how to monitor ones mood is key to achieving good mental health. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 49 www.halfofus.com The Jed Foundation and mtvU created Half of Us to initiate a public dialogue to raise awareness about the prevalence of mental health issues and connect students to the appropriate resources to get help.View videos featuring young people and celebrities talking about their struggles and how they overcame them. www.ulifeline.org ULifeline is an anonymous confidential online resource center where youll find information on mental health resources at your college along with a self-test for mental health. HEADED TO COLLEGE DONT FORGET TO PACK THESE TIPS. WEBSITES FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS www.thetrevorproject.org TheTrevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian gay bisexual transgender and questioning LGBTQ young people ages 13 to 24. www.activeminds.org Active Minds is changing the culture on campuses and in the community by providing information leadership opportunities and advocacy training for the next generation. TIPS FOR PARENTS E-MAIL OR TEXT YOUR STUDENT. Allow your student to be on hisher own. As students are adjusting a call may seem in- trusive. Find a balance with your child and see what will work for both of you. You might want to have a conversation be- fore your student leaves to create shared expectations. TALK OPENLY ABOUT ALCOHOL DRUGS SEX AND OTH- ER INFLUENCES. Parents should have open conversations about these issues and talk about new responsibilities as an adult. You want to keep the lines of communication open. This will open the door for your student to come to you if needed. DISCUSS FINANCES IN ADVANCE. Talk about budgeting and how to spend money appropriately. Keep in mind cred- it card companies advertise to students with tantalizing offers. Make sure that your student is aware of all the charges that come with having a credit card. DONT QUIZ YOUR CHILD ABOUT ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE. Instead ask your student what she is learning. Allow students to grow academically in their own time this will help them find a major that best suits them. Class performance is known to drop in the first semester in college. Understand that this is normal. Dont make a huge deal about grades unless theyre being completely blown off. ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO SEEK OUTSIDE RESOURCES. Remind your child that its not a sign of weakness to seek out campus counseling services or community resources. This also applies to classroom struggles. Students can seek help through a professor or an outside tutor. ENJOY HAVING AN EMPTY NEST. If you feel a sense of loss dont dwell on it. This is a struggle not only for the student but for the parents as well. Make sure that you are practicing self-care. This might be an opportunity to revisit old hob- bies or discover new ones. NEED TO TALK Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 A 24-hour crisis hotline that will help you connect with mental health resources in your area. Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386 A 24-hour toll-free confidential crisis and sui- cide prevention helpline for lesbian gay bi- sexual transgender and questioning youth. goodTO KNOW 50 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Have you ever had a total meltdown You know one of those re- ally embarrassing drama-filled episodes where you announce to yourself and the world seemingly out of nowhere that in no un- certain terms you Just. Cant. Take. It. Anymore. But how did you get to that emotional point of no return so quickly The answer may surprise you . . . you didnt. Unless youre wired with an eerily steely reserve like Tony Soprano your much-needed meltdown has been in the works for some time youve simply cho- sen to ignore its warning signals. Lets take a look at the making of the Much-Needed Meltdown PHASE ONE THE GUT REACTION Your body is the first and also the last to let you know when your lifes getting out of balance. On a physiological level your fight or flight alarm rings almost immediately when faced with potential danger your palms sweat your stomach pits your face feels hot. These are clear signs that trouble is imminent. But lets say youre not faced with a physical danger like being eat- en by lions but by an emotional or spiritual one. For example your co-worker repeatedly asks for favors and even though you agree to help her you notice your jaw clenches as you say yes. Its very easy to rationalize your answer after all you keep your Handy Dandy List of Excuses for Helping Others in Lieu of Yourself in your top desk drawer. An excerpt from this list might include 1 I should help others right 2 She doesnt have anybody else and I should rescue her. 3 She did help me that one time four years ago even though it was her job. 4 I dont want the group to think Im lazy. 5 I guess it wouldnt hurt me. Its true that helping others is a gift to our spirit In fact relation- ships volunteer organizations and community groups are essential to our senses of belonging and well-being. However they should add to your daily joy not chip away at any emphasis on your own needs. Its not possible to help others in an effective and meaningful way when you feel depleted and doing a task or favor that leaves you resentful does not serve anyone particularly yourself. PHASETWO THE PHYSICAL PAIN Okay so you ignored your gut reaction. Your Handy Dandy List gave you full permission to override your feelings. You plunged ahead into resolving someone elses problem. Again. Now you notice something longer-lasting than the gut reaction enter the physical pain. It usually begins in a subtle way you get a three-day headache after completing your co-workers project or a rash develops while working on a committee for which you regret signing up perhaps you get shoulder pain every time you haul your teenagers giant basket of laundry up the stairs something hes been told many times to do himself. Your body is clearly telling you that somethings gotta give Withoutadoubtunresolvedfeelingsincludingfrustrationand anger will manifest in the body in a physiological way says Dallas psychotherapist Mary Sanger of Insights Collaborative Therapy Group. Theres simply no getting around this fact though I see people trying to do so every day. PHASETHREE THE KABLOOIE Funny but many of us would rather reach the boiling point than establish healthy boundaries in a proactive way. Though a Much-Needed Meltdown may be the only thing dramatic enough to get your and others attention it can also be highly embarrass- ing and carry its own set of consequences. Meltdowns are sometimes inevitable Sanger says. But its im- portant to remember the negative impact they can have not only on ourselves but also on others. Practicing regular boundary set- ting and self-soothing are the keys to keeping meltdowns at bay. HOWTO PREVENTTHE MELTDOWN Pay attention to your bodys signals. When a task favor or commitment triggers physical discomfort stop and ask yourself why you are doing it. If its not something you must do communicate and delegate to others their need to participate. Practice self-care regular exercise deep breathing meditation and listening to soothing music are all important tools for keeping melt- downs at bay. For more information contact Mary Sanger at Insights Collaborative Therapy Group www.insightstherapty.com. The Much-Needed Meltdown by Kristin Cicciarelli Contributor goodHEALTH GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 51 IN-HOME PRIVATE TUTORING ENGAGING GROUP COURSES SAT ACT GMAT AP Subjects Average Score Increase of 270 Points World-Class 98th Percentile Scores Free Initial Assessment p Interactive Live Lectures Proctored Practice Tests Detailed Score Reports p p p p p FIND OUT MORE 877 638-0707 www.VictoryStepOnline.com BEST TEST PREP TUTORING IN DALLAS FORT WORTH AND HOUSTON - CBS NEWS Summer is a great time to prepare for the ACT and SAT. Its a good time to retain more material. without distractions like AP exams or school year extracurriculars. - Varun Tewari owner of Victory Step Test Prep 1. QUALITY TUTORS. Victory Step only hires those who scored in the top 2 on the SAT or ACT. 2. ENGAGING INSTRUCTORS who make the pro- cess interesting. 3. A thorough INDIVIDUALIZED CURRICULUM formulated to strengthen weaknesses based on the results of an initial practice test. 4. REASONABLY PRICED instruction. WHY DOES VICTORY STEP STAND ABOVE THE REST 52 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodFASHION Versatility of the Plain White Tee Who knewthe plain white tee can take you from date night to a luncheon to the office and even to a cocktail party Think of it as your blank canvas. You can take it from casual to dressy and everywhere in-between with a few small easy changes that most people have in their closets right now. Make sure you have a few different styles and a variety of accessories think necklace scarf jacket shoes. The beauty of the white tee is that with the right additions it is always appropriate for any occasion. Without a doubt the white tee will become your favorite go-to piece. Ladies That Lunch Date Night Work It Ladies That Lunch Without a doubt the white tee will become your favorite go-to piece. Cocktails Anyone Work It For more information contact Amy at www.StyleByAmy.com or email your fashion questions to TriciaGoodLifeFamilyMAG.com by Amy Levenson Krumholz Contributor KITCHEN BUILD YOUR PERFECT BUILDER PRICING AVAILABLE. EXTRAORDINARY SERVICE NO EXCUSES. For over 66 years Ed Kellum and Son has been Texas owned and Texas operated. We take pride in designing and building your perfect kitchen. With our expert designers we can bring your personality into your kitchen to match your lifestyle and budget. Our experienced team has continued to help customers select just the right products at the price thats right for them. We want you to love your purchases long after they are delivered and installed. 54 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Book Review Missoula by Melissa Chaiken Section Editor THE HARD TO HEAR STORY YOU NEED TO HEAR As summer starts to come to a close and fall begins to peek around the corner we enter that dreaded-by-some-and-highly-an- ticipated-by-others season known as Back to School. Ironically some of the people who have looked forward to this season in past years may be dreading it this year because for them Back to School is taking on a whole new meaning. I am talking about parents who are going to be moving their young adult into a college dormitory across town across the state or possibly across the country. This milestone comes with many conflicting emotions as well as the need for a new blue- print for parentchild relations. These young- sters will no longer be under the watchful eye of parents and obligated to return home each night by curfew. The new freedom for these college students and simultaneous loss of control for their parents re- sults in a period of adjustment for all. There are serious issues to be addressed regarding responsibili- ty communication safety man- aging money keeping a dorm room clean handling ones laun- dry load homesickness and be- ing a respectful and courteous roommate. One of the most important issues we can stress with our children going off to college is personal safety. This safety umbrella covers many facets of life traveling to and from college meeting new people going to parties where alcohol and possibly drugs are readily available sexual experimen- tation and living independently for the first time. This can be a terrifying time for parents of new college students especially for those us of with control issues One of the most alarming issues facing col- lege campuses today is the rising occurrence of acquaintance rape. Bestselling author Jon Krakauers book Missoula Rape and the Justice System in a College Town details the rash of sexual assaults that were reported on the campus of the University of Montana be- tween January 2008 and May 2012. While this book focuses on one campus only the issues Krakauer brings into the spotlight are univer- sal to campuses across the country. Krakauer tells us Acquaintance rape is a crime like no other. Unlike burglary or em- bezzlement or any other felony the victim often comes under more suspicion than the alleged perpetrator. This is especially true if the victim is sexually active if she had been drinking prior to the assault and if the man she accuses plays on a popular sports team. In Missoula Krakauer focuses on several in- cidents where the alleged perpetrators were talented football players on the beloved Uni- versity of Montana Grizzlies team. The victims felt great reluctance to come forward because of the popularity of these athletes and the pub- lic scrutiny they were sure to endure upon fil- ing charges and seeking justice. Further the victims that did muster the courage to report these violations were often treated with hesita- tion by authorities who stressed to the victims how difficult rape is to prove and how likely the victim is to be dragged through the mud in the community as well as on social media. What parents can take away from Missoula is the absolute ne- cessity of talking to your children about this issue. Al- cohol consumption is so of- ten entwined with the stories of acquaintance rape that it is also imperative to address the consequences of drinking to excess. Kraukauer delivers sta- tistics that show 1 in 4 women in college today are victims of rape and that 90 of all college rapes are acquaintance rape not stranger rape. Like any oth- er violent crime victims often suffer from devastating psycho- logical damage for years to come. Krakauer estimates that 50 of rape victims suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder a higher rate that soldiers returning from war. The perpetrator can be subject to incarceration or other judicial punishment forced to register as a sex offender and often has to live with a sullied reputation even if not convicted. The families of both the victims and the perpetra- tors also undergo intense public scrutiny and have to deal with their loved ones pain humil- iation and stigmatization. Parents who are sending their children off to college must inform both their boys and their girls about acquaintance rape and its devastat- ing effects. While Missoula is a documentation of a group of isolated circumstances stories like these are occurring on many college cam- puses. With a little education and knowledge maybe we can start to see the number of these incidents decrease as we send the next genera- tion of college students off into university life. college students and simultaneous loss of control for their parents re- sults in a period of adjustment for all. There are serious issues to be - - aging money keeping a dorm What parents can take away from also imperative to address the consequences of drinking to excess. Kraukauer delivers sta tistics that show 1 in 4 women in college today are victims of rape and that 90 of all college rapes are acquaintance rape not stranger rape. Like any oth er violent crime victims often suffer from devastating psycho logical damage for years to come. The National ChildTraumatic Stress Network offers the following tips for preventing acquaintance rape Expect respect and keep away from people who dont show you respect. Be clear about your limits let the other person know what you want and dont want to do. You have the right to change your mind to sayno or to agree to some sexual activities and not to others. Dont allow a person to touch you if it makes you uncomfortable. If your limits are reached or you sense dangerspeakyourmindandactimme- diately. Make a scene if necessary. Avoid excessive drinking or drugs. They reduce your ability to think and communicate clearly. Being drunk or high does not give anyone permission to assault you. Pouryourownbeverageandkeep it in sight. Date rape drugs such as Rohypnol GHB or Ketamine also called Special K can often be undetectable and cause effects such as sleepiness blacking out delirium amnesia sei- zures dizziness and nausea. Donthangoutinplacesthatkeep you isolated from others. Although you may feel you can take care of your- self it is always wise to be careful. Trust your instincts. If you feel that a person is not trustworthy or a situa- tion is unsafe leave. Have a back-up plan. For exam- ple if you are going out to a party in a different neighborhood make sure someone you trust knows where you are going. Have a person you can call tocomeandgetyouifyouneedtoleave without your original ride. Bestselling author Jon Krakauer gives a stark powerful meticulously reported narrative about a series of sexual assaults at the University of Montana stories that illuminate the human drama behind the national plague of campus rape. goodFRIENDS by Cecily Knobler Contributor You know that friend you have who just completely gets you She makes you laugh until your ribs hurt until youve smiled so much you cant feel your face Yes Call her right now and make a plan for a night out. Its time to reconnect to the gal-pals who recharge your spirit. You know the ones who love you even when youre having a day or youve got toothpaste on your shirt. The truth is that sometimes you just need a friend to stand in for your sisteror your motheror you conscienceor your iPhone text decoder. Someone to explain how Snapchat works or to tell you the truth about your Mom Jeans. Feelings isnt a curse word with our girlfriends. They under- stand that sometimes after a grueling day or week we just need to take a mulligan without drama or obligation. When we just want to talk about everything from our husbands to our highlights to goodbad reality TV our friends help our souls renew so that we can feel like ourselves again. And even if they occasionally refer to us as a hot mess we know theyre coming from a place of love. Because theyve lived it. The greatest part about a Girls Night Out is we get to connect to our touchstones. We get to hug our lifelines and none of it has to be too serious. We can be the silly version of ourselvesor the annoyed versionor the side of us who just wants to kick back and be free of stress. Whether were wearing stiletto heels or Con- verse tennis shoes our girlfriends see us through the same filter so theres no pressure to be anyone other than who we want to be. How many therapists genuinely make us laugh How often can we drink wine while deconstructing everything thats on our minds With our best girlfriends nothing is off limits. I mean I guess if youre totally obsessed with The Bachelor there may be a need for tough love. Oh who are we kidding Theyre most likely obsessed with it too. So let your hair down Call some friends who love you and re- connect Make a reservation. Have a martini. Have an extra slice of cake. Book a spa day. Go see a ridiculously sappy romantic movie. Go shopping to replace those Mom Jeans. At the end of the day youre not just someones wife or mom or daughter or boss or em- ployee. Youre a best friend to someone who loves you who gets you and who probably needs a night out just as much as you do Lets Hear It For The Girls Taking time for your girlfriends makes the best of YOU GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 57 Local Moms Share What Their Girlfriends Mean to Them goodFRIENDS The friendship with my girlfriends is liter- ally the glue that holds me together. They are with me every step of the way - cele- brating successes crying over losses com- paring notes on raising kids and just be- ing there as I go through the big and the small things that happen every day. Life would definitely be harder and a lot less fun without them. - Jane Ito Boston girls trip L to R Kim Costigan Leslie Leach and Jane Ito These are the friends I made when my oldest was in kindergarten. We just sent them off to their first year of college and they have been my support system for over 13 years.We have shared tears of sadness and joy much laughter moral support times of celebration and times of reflec- tion. They are my lifeline to sanity - Susie Learmont Spring Break in Destin FloridaL to R Leslie Gilvar Susie Learmont Amy Depner Sue Benton andTraci Koen Girlfriends are like Jok- ers - always there when you need one The Majh Mavens have been play- ing together for five years and helping one another through the adventures of life. - Teresa Niermeyer Playing Mah-jongg at Willow Bend Mall L to R Cindy Garrison Kelly Flynn Debbie GillespieTeresa Niermeyer and JulieTadlock Girlfriends are so important to me because they get me and support me in overcoming obstacles and celebrating successes - Carol Margolis Bottom row Lauren Green Adrienne Bransky Dana Freed Top Row Carol Margolis Lisa Crawford Rachel Pearlman and StefanieToppel Meet the Bloody Mary Friday Group These Moms meet every Friday for lunch in constant search for the best Blood Mary. We truly have a special bond we celebrate each other and ourselves. It makes all of our relationships rich- er when we take time for ourselves and con- nect with strong positive loving friends. We talk laugh cry and sometimes seek advice. Its great therapy which is good for the soul -Beth Thompson Top Row Missy Slavin Mary Alexander Beth Jenks Jo-el Howell Emily Payne Middle RowTracey Hill Kelly Dossman BethThompson Bottom Row Chris Russo NotpicturedDeborahStowe True friends help you through life margaritas and birthdays. - Ann Myer Top Row Lisa Smith Leslie Oden Third Row Linda McCullough Janey Fullington AndreaWood Second Row Susan Cure Laurie GoyanWendi Hart First Row Jen Boleman Ann Myer Lori Collyar 58 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 Equal Parts Food CAPERS BRINGS THE FOOD THE DRINKS THE PARTY ATMOSPHERE AND THE CULINARY EXPERTISE TO THE TABLE YOU BRING YOUR FRIENDS Bobbie Ames knows food. Bobbie Ames loves food. Bobbie Ames wants you to know food and love food too So...she created Capers her venture into inspir- ing you to add new techniques and ideas to your meals. Cooking can be FUN and CREATIVE and IMAGINATIVE and SOCIAL. The word capers has two defi- nitions. In the culinary world caper flowers and buds are typi- cally pickled and used as a flavor enhancer. Capers also means a light-hearted recreational activ- ity for diversion or amusement. Bobbie wants you to see cooking can be functional as well as an ad- venture to share with friends and family. Bobbie knows how busy we all are with our jobs our families and our attempt to have some semblance of a social life. Trying to figure out what to make for dinner night after night can be a daunting task. Wouldnt it be fun to have a group of your friends get together to socialize and learn some new dinner ideas This is just what Bobbie aims to do with Capers. But the philosophy behind Capers is more than just following recipes. The goal is to focus on simple food with fresh ingredients that can be prepared in a variety of ways. Once you conquer these techniques you will be equipped to experiment with various flavor combinations that will leave your family satisfied and begging for more Bobbies desire is to inspire people to enjoy cooking to cook more and to make eating a home cooked meal an experience to remember. Her motto is Satiated people are happy people and happy people make the world a better place by Melissa Chaiken Section Editor Capers offers different ways to combine learning to cook and spending time with your friends MOM WHATS FOR DINNER Get your friends together and select a yummy menu from the options of- fered many choices ranging from a traditional roasted chicken dinner to spicy shrimp curry. You will learn the best methods for cooking your favorite foods and will get hands-on practice by creating a main course sides and dessert. Every- one goes home with a delicious home- made meal for their family. THE HAPPIEST OF HOURS PARTY Get your friends to- gether for a fun and unique happy hour. Each party includes instruc- tion hands-on experience tastings of a progression of small plates as well as signature cocktails wine and sparkling or flat waters. CELEBRATION COOKING PARTIES Treat your friend or loved one to a private cooking party for their spe- cial celebration birthday anniver- sary retirement graduation etc.. Each party includes culinary in- struction hands-on experience tastings of everything you create as well as signature cocktails wine and sparkling or flat waters. CREATE YOUR OWN CAPER Have a special idea of your own Contact Bobbie and let her work her magic making your own special caper come to life Bobbie Ames Capers creator Party goers learning knife skills at a Capers event goodEATS and Fun ax t 17062 Preston Road Suite 100 Dallas Texas 75248 972-733-3354 972-733-3355-fax New York Style Restaurant Zoric BREAKFAST LUNCH DINNER CUSTOM CATERING VOTED THE BEST DELI IN DALLAS DINE IN OR CALL AHEAD FOR A PICK UP ORDER... AND WE ALSO WILL DELIVER YOUR NEXT CATERING ORDER. 17062 PRESTON ROAD AT CAMPBELL ROAD 972.733.3354 DELINEWSDALLAS.COM and Fun www.cooksandcapers.com www.facebook.comcookscapers Or email Bobbie at Bobbiecooksandcapers.com TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CAPERS This event was BEYOND fun I cant recommend Capers and Bobbie Ames enough. If you want a unique and amazing girlsnight this is it -Michelle McGrew Hubbard That was indeed super fun. Great friends fun time and now Im inspired to try cooking again. Thanks Bobbie for sharing your awesome cooking knowledge -Stephanie Lauridsen Smith Shannon Smith Jennifer OCarroll and Michelle Hubbard at a recent Capers cooking party 60 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 JULY WATTERS CREEK PRESENTS CONCERTS BY THE CREEKMUSIC MAKES A DIFFERENCE WHEN The first Friday of every month and every Saturday from July to October 700 to 1000pm WHERE Watters Creek at Montgomery Farms in Allen WHAT Watters Creek partners with local 5013c non-profit organizations and fea- tures different artists each month. Watters Creek makes a 200 donation to each of the chosen charities. Featuring acts such as Andrea Dawson Band July 11 Infinite Journey July 18 Dirty Pesos July 25 and Miss Marcy herTexas SugarDaddys August 8. COST Free CONTACT Visit www.watterscreek.com for more information on the Concerts by the Creek series. STAR-SPANGLED SPECTACULAR WHEN Friday July 3 700pm WHERE Haggard Park and Historic Downtown Plano 901 E. 15th St. WHAT Part of the Plano Concert in the Park Series this event will feature Americana and patriotic music along with Michele Todd singing several selections accompanied by the Plano Community Band a volunteer organization made up of approximately 70 local musicians. COST Free CONTACT Email infoplanoband.com or visit www.planoband.comevents-schedule ADDISON KABOOMTOWN WHEN Friday July 3 500pm to Midnight Gates open at 300pm WHERE Addison Circle Park 4970 Addison Circle Drive WHAT One of the best fireworks shows in the country as rated by Forbes and the Travel Channel. Spectacular event choreographed to music and simulcast on 100.3 JACK fm. Booths with food and beverages including hamburgers hot dogs barbecue chicken sand- wiches cotton candy ice cream beer wine soft drinks and much more. Concerts on the DosEquisMainStageandSpecialGuestStagewilladdtothefestivities.Fireworkswillbe launched at dusk or approximately 930pm. COST Free CONTACTVisit httpwww.addisontexas.neteventskaboomtown ALL AMERICAN FOURTH WHEN Saturday July 4 930pm WHERE Oak Point Park Nature Preserve Plano WHAT Plano celebrates Independence Day with a fantastic fireworks show choreo- graphed to music and simulcast on 97.5 KLAK. COST Free CONTACT 972.941.7250 or visit www.plano.gov DALLAS HERITAGEVILLAGES OLD FASHIONED FOURTH WHEN Saturday July 4 1000am to 300pm parade at noon WHERE 1515 S. Harwood Dallas WHAT Deck out the family in red white and blue grab your picnic basket andlittleredwagonandcomecelebrateAmericashistory.Kidscandecorate their wagon or themselves at the craft station for the patriotic parade. Nip and Tuck the beloved Village donkeys will be offering wagon rides around theVillage.Otheractivitiesincludecarnivalgamesfacepaintingandamini checkers tournament. COST9Adult7Senior655Child4to12years.Ticketscanbepur- chased at the gate. CONTACT Call 214.413.3669 or visit www.dallasheritagevillage.org PARADE OF PLAYHOUSES 20TH ANNIVERSARY WHEN July 10 26 WHERE NorthPark Center WHAT Dallas CASA is celebrating 20 years of presenting imaginative childrens play- houses to benefit abused and neglected children. Generous corporations organiza- tions and individuals will design build and donate extraordinary childrens playhouses to raise funds for CASA. COST Free. During the 17 day event raffle tickets are sold online and at ticket tables throughout NorthPark Center. The winning ticket will be drawn during the closing cere- mony of the event on July 26th at 400pm. CONTACT mstephensondallascasa.org THE CAMPAIGN FOR DALLAS CASAS CLOSING PHASE OF ABUSED CHILDREN CANTWAIT WHEN Thursday July 23 630 to 900pm WHERE PIRCH at NorthPark Center WHAT Join Dallas CASA as they wind down the Abused Children Cant Wait Campaign. Entertainment provided by the illustrious Dallas DJ Mr. Diamond a silent auction hors doeuvres and beverages will be a part of the evenings festivities. COST Tickets are 50 each CONTACT mstephensondallascasa.org AUGUST ADDISON SUMMER SERIES WHEN August 1 8 15 22 29 WHERE Beckert Park 5044 Addison Circle Addison WHAT Enjoy summer evenings under the stars in beautiful Beckert Park. Bring a picnic and listen to live music or dine al fresco at one of the great Addison Circle restaurants. COST Free CONTACT Barbara Kovacevich 972.450.2851 SECOND SATURDAYS WHEN August 1 8 15 22 WHERE Historic Downtown McKinney 111 NorthTennessee Street WHAT Come to historic downtown McKinney and enjoy an evening of art music and wine. Explore the local art galleries listen to great local and regional talent and taste someoftheareasbesteateries.ManyshopsinDowntownMcKinneywillkeeptheirdoors open until 1000pm on Second Saturdays. COST Free CONTACT Merry Canter 972.547.2660 community calendar goodTIMES Your Go-To Source is Just One Click Away EVERY Day. ParentingSupport247 TweensTeens Twenties Health Wellness Schools Education Food Entertainment Community Events Philanthropy College Prep Fashion Trends Home Lifestyle Travel withTeens Sandwich Generation andmuchmore SHARE. LIKE.TWEET. REPEAT. goodLIFEfamilyMAG.com goodTIMES NORTHTEXAS STATE FAIR AND RODEO WHEN August 21-29 WHERE North Texas State Fairgrounds 2217 North Carroll Blvd Denton WHATTheNorthTexasStateFairincludesrodeosbar- becue cook-offs livestock show commercial exhibits carnival beauty pageant creative arts photography contest childrens art contest and more. Live enter- tainment will be provided by Randy Rogers Band Josh Abbott Band Cody Johnson and approximately 20 other artists. COST 15forAdults5forchildren7-12childrenunder6arefree. Parking5.Season pass 90 4 day pass 40 CONTACT 940.387.2632 THE 22ND ANNUAL FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT NIGHT BENEFITING THE WARREN CENTER FOR AUTISM WHEN Thursday August 27 600 1030pm WHERE ATT Stadium One ATTWay Arlington WHAT The 22nd Annual Fantasy Football Draft Night benefiting The Warren Center for Autism is an evening of fun competition good food and drink. Participants will draft their own Fantasy Football team and compete in a league of friends and colleagues throughout the NFL season. The Super Bowl Champion of Fantasy Football XXll will win two season tickets to the Dallas Cowboys for the 2016 season. Winners of each league will win a football signed by the celebrity host. COST Table Sponsorships begin at 3000. Underwriting op- portunities begin at 1500. CONTACT TaraNullat972.490.9055or214.709.8901oremail Tara.NullTheWarrenCenter.org SEPTEMBER MAD HATTERTEA PARTY WHEN Saturday September 12 1030am to 130pm WHERE Methodist Richardson Medical Center 2831 E. Presi- dent George Bush Highway WHAT Methodist Richardson is hosting a Mad Hatter Tea Party to celebrate its new 3D Mammogram technology. Breast cancer survivors and patients willbehonoredastheystruttheirstuffwalkingdownthepinkcarpet.Therewillbeother activities such as hat and goblet decorating relaxing massages and makeovers.Women areencouragedtoweartheirmostcreativeandeleganthattherewillbeaprizeforthe bestone Dr.JenevieveH.Hughesarenownedbreastcancersurgeonwillbethespecial guest speaker. COST The event is free but online pre-registration is required. Survivors are invited to attend as guests of honor and may bring up to three guests. CONTACTTo register visit info.methodisthealthsystem.orgtea-party-registration SEPTEMBER MAD HATTERTEA PARTY WHEN WHERE dent George Bush Highway WHAT Submit your upcoming events for free at goodlifefamilyMAG.com 62 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodTIMES THE NANCY LIEBERMAN FOUNDATION DREAM BALL GALA APRIL 16 The Nancy Lieberman Foundations 2015 Dream Ball Gala was held on April 16 2015 at Omni Dallas Hotel. The event featured a VIP cocktail reception dinner silent auction enter- tainment by former ESPN host Roy Firestone and live music by Big Joe Walk- er. Guests were greeted by Nancy as they walked down thered carpet- or in this case a faux basketball court A highlight of the evening was the presentation of The Lifetime Achieve- ment Award to Dallas Cowboysquarterback Tony Romo. The mission of The Nancy Lieberman Foundation is to use basketball as a motivational tool to provide a healthy physical emotional and men- tal environment for young girls and boys to build their self-esteem and confidence so they will be able to make the right choices in the future. During the summer Nancy hosts and coach- es basketball clinics and camps. She hopes that-through positive guidance and helpful in- struction-she can propel the next generation of student athletes to success on and off the court. Nicole Miller and Kimberly Nelon Amy and Jay Novacek Nancy Lieberman with Larry Fitzgerald Jan Baldwin Angela Nash Meredith Camp Scholarship Recipient DJuanTaylor GENESIS ANNUAL LUNCHEON MAY 5 More than 1800 people attended the Genesis Womens Shelter Support Annual Luncheon on Tuesday May 5 at the Hilton Anatole. The event featured remarks and a conversation with Maria Shriver Peabody and Emmy award-win- ning journalist and producer six-time New York Times best-selling author former First Lady of California and NBC News special anchor. This year the Annual Luncheon cele- brated 30 years of ser- vice to women and chil- dren who are victims of domestic violence and also honored the newest recipients of the Jane Doe Award the Dallas Morning News and the HeRO Award re- cipient W.H. Adamson High School Athletic Director and Football Coach Joshua Ragsdale. - struction-she can propel the next generation of student athletes to success on and off the court. Maria Shriver and Jan Langbein Bennet Glazer Nicki and David Campisi Lesley Annen Connie Kleinert Ashlee Kleinert Emily Eisenhauer and Robin Bagwell Otis Felton and CarmaletaWhiteley Nancy LiebermanTony Candice Romo GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 63 CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES WITH GOOD LIFE FAMILY MAY 28 Over 150 guests stepped onto the red carpet at the swanky north Dallas Starpower showroom to celebrate the launch of Good Life Family magazine. Capers founder and GLF Food Entertainment Editor Bobbie Ames cooked up gourmet fare in one of the live Ed Kellum Son kitchens. BOSCH chef David Heyen showcased his famous Southern fare Texas Hills Vinyard offered a festive array of wines and Cakes a la Mo owner Monica Ofcharik presented a huge array of her famous cake balls. Gary Peto the creative geniousowner of party dcor company Shag Carpet created an 8-foot Martini Bar and a step repeat that set the perfect backdrop for the festivities. Event sponsors included Starpower Star Floors Ed Kellum Son Texas Hills Vineyard Capers Cakes A La Mo Shag Carpet Events and Ruths Chris Steakhouse. Photos by James Bland. Sheryl Pidgeon with husband David and daughter Jaxie The Good Life Family team - Sonia Black Account Executive Melissa Chaiken Social and Philanthropy EditorBobbie Ames Food and Entertaining Editor Sheryl Pidgeon Founder and Editor-In-Chief Kim Brown Marketing Manager Beth Donahue Creative Director TriciaWhiteManaging Editor Bill BrockVideographer Melinda Bogoslavsky Account ExecutiveTracy Bell Senior Copy Editor Not Pictured JennyWood School and Education Editor MichaelTinglin User Experience Manager Kendel Ahnell Digital Magazine Editor Deborah LeshefskyBusiness Office. Ann OBlenes Jo Lochabay Jill Johnson Lisa Raskin BethThompson Jenn Shaff Lauren Rossley Nancy Lieberman with interns fromThe Nancy Lieberman Foundation Melissa and Rob Chaiken Inez and Rick Seaney 64 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 goodTIMES 27TH ANNUAL CHILDRENS CANCER FUND LUNCHEON APRIL 17 The signature fundraising event of the Childrens Cancer Fund was held on April 17 2015 at the Hilton Anatole in Dallas. The event which included a luncheon and fashion show by Dillards had over 1000 guests and raised over 425000 to go toward research for pediatric cancer. Pediatric cancer patients who are treated at Childrens Medical Center served as the mod- els and were escorted by local celebrities including Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach. Childrens Cancer Fund was created 33 years ago by a group of parents whose children were being treated for cancer at Childrens Medical Center. ZOS KITCHEN RINGS THE NYSE CLOSING BELL MAY 18 On Monday May 18 leaders from the fast-casual restaurant Zos Kitchen traveled to New York City to ring the NYSE Closing Bell to cel- ebrate National Mediterranean Month. Zos a fast-casual restaurant concept whose Home Office is in Plano Texas is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. The concept was founded by Zo and Marcus Cassimus in 1995 in Birmingham Alabama. Since then its grown to 150 restaurants who all share a mission to Deliver Goodness from the inside out. For the Zos team part of living that mission is putting a focus on people first. Zos General Manager of the Year Mike Degenhart and Regional Operator of the Year Art Acevedo joined the Zos Kitchen manage- ment team and their fam- ilies to celebrate the occa- sion and ring the bell on the NYSE stock exchange floor. Follow along as Zos celebrates their 20th an- niversary this summer on social media zoeskitch- en delivergoodness Fashion Show Model escorted by WFAA Channel 8s Alexa Conomos Young model escorted by former Dallas Cowboy Drew Pearson strut their stuff The young models proudly wearing fashions from Dillards. The Zos Kitchen management team stands on the NYSE podium to ring the Closing Bell on May 18 2015 in NewYork City to celebrate National Mediterranean Month. Zos Kitchen COO Jeremy Hartley General Manager of theYear Mike Degenhart Regional Operator of theYear Art Acevedo and CEO Kevin Miles celebrate on the floor of the NYSE in NewYork City. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 65 CHILDRENS ADVOCACY CENTER OF COLLIN COUNTY GALA MAY 2 The Childrens Advocacy Center of Col- lin County held their annual gala on May 2 2015. More than 800 support- ers and friends attended this black-tie affair at the Hilton Anatole in Dallas to support the Centers efforts in raising critically needed funds that provide essential services to abused children in our community. Gala 2015 was proud- ly presented by Rent-A-Center and featured silent and live auctions and entertainment by the Pointer Sisters. Fairview residents Cathy and Richard Riccardi served as Event Chairs and Natalie Simmons was the lucky winner of the Lexus raffle Carolyn and Mark Speese Pointer Sisters with Gala Chairs Cathy and Richard Riccardi DALLAS JUNIOR FORUM CELEBRATES THE ART OF GIVING APRIL 22 The Dallas Junior Forums annual spring fundraiser was held at the Belo Mansion Pavilion in Dallas on April 22 2015. The event raised more than 100000 to fund their service programs that support their partner Agencies through volunteer service and financial grants for specific agency needs. These programs include Nourish to Flourish which has provided over 7200 meals to people in crises Under Our Wings a mentoring program Child Stars which partners with Dallas Childrens Advocacy Center and Wipe Out Kids Cancer and Golden Friendships that partners with Juliette Fowler Communities that serve the elderly. The luncheon featured Dallas Entrepreneur and Philanthropist Ashlee Hunt Kleinert as speaker. Mrs. Kleinert founded Ruthies Rolling Food Trucks and co-founded Executives in Action. Vanessa and Gary Hoffman Diana Melendez Co-Chair Vanessa Hoffman President Dallas Junior Forum and Renee Parrett Co-Chair CHERISH THE CHILDREN LUNCHEON MAY 5 Dallas CASAs Cherish the Children luncheon hosted over 370 guests and raised in excess of 175000 at their annual fundraiser. These funds will enable the organization to recruit and train volun- teer advocates who help ensure that abused and neglected chil- dren are safe healthy and protected with loving fami- lies. Guest speaker and au- thor of Three Little Words Ashley Rhodes-Courter re- counted her own journey through the foster system and the difference a CASA volunteer advocate made in her life. Dallas CASA Board Chair Greg May and Hannah May Dallas CASA Executive Director President Kathleen M. LaValle Author Ashley Rhodes-Courter May Christie Carter and Cherish Event Chair Madeline Freberg goodTIMES 66 GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 ROCK THE BLOCK MAY 23 The Jim Utley Foundation held its annual Rock the Block event on May 23 2015 at Oak Point Park Nature Preserve in Plano. Runners ran through the scenic park and nature preserve in support of kids saying NO to drugs and helping kids live drug free. As they crossed the finish line of either the 1mile Fun Run 5K run or 10K run runners were greeted by supporters and continued on to enjoy some food music and fun. Fox4 Sports Anchor Mike Doocy served as the events emcee. goodTIMES NEED CAPTION HERE. LIGHT FARMS SCHOOL YARD CELEBRATION APRIL 25 Families enjoyed a day of music food and fun - dining on upscale versions of their favorite childhood food from award-winning Dallas restaurant Sissys Southern Kitchen posing for photos in a cool vintage airstream trailer and all set to the soundtrack of the Prosper HS band drum line and DJ Korey Mack. Photos courtesy of Destiny Darcy of Bellini Studios. Kyle Skaggs ChrisTorbert Chris Skaggs Kristi Suddock Brandy Parker-Rivers Karen McElwain Peggy Butler Rosie Camille Maria Diaz Rick Skaggs l-r Matt Boggs Julie Boggs Cindy Boggs RichTempleton Stephanie Templeton Rich Schiele LEIGHTONS RIDE MAY 16 The 3rd Annual motorcycle ride benefiting Leightons Gift was thrilled to raised 7600 on May 16 2015. With these funds the organize will be able to purchase two additional Webcams for the NICU at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Plano. Leightons Gift was created by Chris and Amy Skaggs who had twins Leighton and Jaxon born at a little over 28 weeks. Three weeks after their birth Leighton passed away from Late Onset Group B Strep. Chris and Amy were distraught at the reality that their families were never able to meet Leighton due to the strict rules of the NICU. Their hope is to eventually have all of the NICU beds at Plano Presbyterian connected to an Angel Eye webcam system so that families of these infants can feel more connected to their tiny infant. JOHN PAUL II HIGH SCHOOL 10TH ANNIVERSARY GALA MARCH 28 John Paul II High School celebrated its 10th anniversary with a spectacular event at Southfork Ranch on March 28. Deep in the Heart of Texas - Legacy Gala was a resounding success as the event raised more than 400000 for the JPIIHS Tuition Assistance Fund. WFAAs Ron Corning emceed the festivities and guests enjoyed a live auction midway games and prizes a mechanical bull and armadillo races. The event brought together the chairs of every past JPIIHS auction to co-chair including Gina Banister Mary Beth Berry Karen Bianchin Dana DeAngelis Eve Donovan Laurie Goacher Kathleen Tarantino and Mary Templeton. Mary and Rich Templeton were also named Honorary Chairs. GoodLifeFamilyMag.com JULY AUGUST 2015 67 Good Morning Texas Paige McCoy Smith shares her Girlfriend Goals. - Paige JOIN OUR FAMILY Share your thoughts stories insights advice and yes even frustrations and failures with Good Life Family. Email Sheryl Pidgeon SherylGoodLifeFamilyMag.com or any member of the Good Life Family team. Gotta Have Girlfriends My marriage nearly ended before it began. The problem Girlfriends Im not talking about his former flings Im talking about MY girlfriends. My husband had an issue with how much time I spent with my friends and resented the value I put into those relationships. I fiercely defended my girlfriends holding onto the old adage to never let a man no matter how cute he is or how well he danc- es interfere with your friends. However there comes a time usu- ally when youre walking down the aisle when that command- ment is traded in favor of for better or for worse. As a result I didnt call my friends as often. I begged off from lunch dates and declined invitations to movies or parties. I convinced myself that I didnt have as much in common with my single friends and focused my energy on deepening my rela- tionship with my newly titled husband. Howev- er the more I tried to move beyond what I thought of asoutdated relationships the more depressed I became. Ironically my mother of all people saved the day. She sat down with my husband and said Paige is like a bumble bee. She needs to be nourished by many flowers in order to survive. Limiting her friendships will kill her spirit. Although I admit being compared to a bumble bee is a lit- tle cheesy it seemed to work. Today my husband supports my friendships and encourages me to maintain these special rela- tionships. So I have no excuse other than work kids laziness and procrastination. Its pretty pathetic considering we are in the information age. After all how much energy do my fingers really consume when firing off a quick text just letting a friend know I care I am embarrassed to admit that I have put my friendships on the same line of my to-do list that typically occupies such priorities as organizing my spice rack. But that ends now My mom was right. The truth is when I dont take time with my girl- friends my soul is depleted Me The bumble bee I need these friendships and I would like to think they need me. In fact I am com- mitted to taking these Girlfriend Goals a step further 1. CALL I am going to pick up my phone and do what it was originally designed to do MAKE A PHONE CALL. Sure a text is short and sweet but taking the time to dial a number and have a conver- sation can be well therapeutic 2. SEND A CARD Snail mail has become nostalgic. I dont know about you but I get giddy when I see something in the mail with an actual stamp that doesnt resemble a bill. What a fun way to share some love. 3. GO TO LUNCH Lunch happy hour even a walk in the park or a walk in the mall. You schedule everything else from mammograms to PTA meetings. Use that skill to schedule some girlfriend time These are three simple things I can do to ensure my friendships are well nurtured. Speaking of nurture I had another friend com- pare her girlfriends to a vegeta- ble garden This year my tomato plants are doing well last year was not as good because I didnt spend enough time caring for my garden. You see a garden cannot magically grow on its own. It needs to be nurtured and tended to. I love analogies to make a point or share a perspective. As for me I am plum out of clever comparisons. However I can say that all things that have value need to be nurtured in order to be sustained. That goes for bumble bees tomato plants and of course friendships. Until we meet again PS Look for me on WFAA Channel 8 Monday through Friday at 900 AM Best friends dont necessarily have to talk every day. They dont even need to talk for weeks. But when they do its like they never stopped talking. - Anonymous Theres nothing better than a friend. Unless its a friend with chocolate. - Linda Grayson goodPOINT TAX FREE WEEKEND August 7th 9th Get back to style and shop back to school at Watters Creek Dont miss tax free weekend August 7th 9th . Find the trends you crave and the looks that wont disappoint ANTHROPOLOGIE DSW CHARMING CHARLIE FRANCESCAS RUNWAY SEVEN SEPHORA WILLA BOUTIQUE VERA BRADLEY ALTARD STATE FREE WEEKEND August 7 Get back to style and shop back to school at Watters Creek Dont miss tax free weekend August 7 you crave and the looks that wont disappoint ANTHROPOLOGIE DSW CHARMING CHARLIE FRANCESCAS RUNWAY SEVEN SEPHORA WILLA BOUTIQUE VERA BRADLEY ALTARD STATE TAX FREE August 7 Get back to style and shop back to school at Watters Creek Dont miss tax free weekend August 7 you crave and the looks that wont disappoint ANTHROPOLOGIE DSW CHARMING CHARLIE FRANCESCAS RUNWAY SEVEN SEPHORA WILLA BOUTIQUE VERA BRADLEY ALTARD STATE