Holiday Survival Tips with a Grain of Salt (And a Glass of Wine)

Holiday Survival Tips with a Grain of Salt (And a Glass of Wine)

Is your family coming into town? Are you ready for the holidays? I love this time of year, but I know that we all could use some new tips and tricks for getting through this crazy time.

By Suzan Dees / Contributor

  • Use duct tape to attach one of the fruitcakes that your neighbor gave you to each ankle and get a workout while you clean the kitchen! Those things weigh at least 4 pounds each.

 

  • When wrapping presents, make sure that you have the necessities handy: paper, tape, scissors, extra wrapping paper (as you always end up cutting it too short), and at least three bottles of wine.

 

  • Oh no! Last minute guests and you don’t have any treats? Go ahead and unwrap all that leftover Halloween candy. That’s right, the stuff no one will eat. Throw it all on a baking sheet and toss it into the oven. When it comes out, just let it cool and tell everyone you saw this idea on Pinterest. No one ever questions Pinterest.

 

  • Remember last year when you threw all the lights into a box without taking the time to separate them? Yep, time to face the music. If you can’t untangle them within five minutes, just go ahead and toss them on the yard in a giant ball, plug them in, and tell everyone it’s a symbol of the chaos of our society. Then go drink a glass of wine.

 

  • Are you desperate to get your kids off those pesky phones? No, you probably can’t wrestle the phones away from them, but you can “misplace” all the chargers in the house. Just sit back, smile and watch those batteries drain. Before long, the phones will be put down and you will get that face-to-face time with your teen. Then you will secretly hide in the bathroom to charge your own phone so you can post about your brilliant idea on Facebook. #MomWin

 

  • Did you accidentally eat all of the holiday cookies? It’s okay to blame the Elf on the Shelf. In fact, just go ahead and name your elf “Scapegoat”. That’s what I did.

 

  • Now, at some point during this incredibly busy time, in between running errands, writing lists, making travel plans and fulfilling obligations, just take a second to look around, soak it all in, and be grateful. Because, good or bad, everything can change in an instant, and those crazy people you call your family fighting over the last turkey leg, the look on your kid’s face when you actually surprise him with an unexpected and coveted gift, and the dog peeing on grandpa’s favorite hat will be the moments you’ll remember forever.

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